Press Release: The Golden Wheelchair

Crystal-needs-a-park

Crystal-needs-a-park

Active member
Today, July 13th, I have initiated the Golden Wheelchair mentally handicapped person of the day award. Each day on NS I will give this prestigious award to an individual i deem fitting of such an honor. While it has already proven to be very difficult to pick out the dumbest thing to be said on this website I will do my best to intercept the very worst.

The inagural winner of the Golden Wheelchair is Spokaneskier.

Althoguh ice-is-scary seems to have proved a worthy opponent i have already dispensed the award for the day and i'll have to see what happens tommorrow. I'll learn from my mistake today and be less hasty in my decision in the future.

Thank you,

NS member C-N-A-P

__________________

You know the Nazis had pieces of flair that they made the Jews wear.

once back when i was a fetus i was aborted. it didn't hurt at all, but i was also high on life at the time. - thisangelicrage

its not rape....its surprise sex. you wake up and SURPRISE you had sex with me haha - huckster989

___________________

The following post is a piece of shit.
 
Form a committee to better cover the forums. Just so you don't miss a gem. I'm sure JD would happily help you out.

Warning: If you are reading this then this warning is for you. Every word you read of this useless fine print is another second off your life. Don't you have other things to do? Is your life so empty that you honestly can't think of a better way to spend these moments? Or are you so impressed with authority that you give respect and credence to all who claim it? Do you read everything you're supposed to read? Do you think everything you're supposed to think? Buy what you're told you should want? Get out of your apartment. Meet a member of the opposite sex (or same sex if you prefer). Stop the excessive shopping and masturbation. Quit your job. Start a fight. Prove you're alive. If you don't claim your humanity you will become a statistic.

You have been warned…

 
sounds like a great idea

-COUNTRY MUSIC GIVES YOU HERPES-

- Hey kids, theres juice under the sink! -

 
Sounds funny to me i think you should also include the things they said to earn it!

Pete is currently sulking around Mt. Hood, shooting with Poor Boyz Productions and hitting on Kristi Leskinen. She hates guys, Pete lamented, so it’s not going good. Apparently Canada isn’t the only thing that’s tough for Pete to get into.

-kamikaze

 
Can we posthumously give this award (for July 9th) to jarossamdb7 for his 'bling skis' post?

wow good observation! You are officaily the new ns genious. You can pick up your award after I shove it up your ass. - Phrosty

 
I think the second prize goes to you, Crystal-needsasomething, for thinking up this snobbish, insensitive idea and actually pursuing it.

You aren't exactly qualified to determine the weekly winner, having posted some pretty stupid things yourself. For instance, the idea that a physically capable but mentally handicapped person would require a wheelchair might not be the brightest thing I've ever heard...

From the desk of Mr. S.S. Jibber

 
jesus christ... spokaneskier laughed along with it... why cant you? fuck. if only i had the will to pull myself from this website.

__________________

You know the Nazis had pieces of flair that they made the Jews wear.

once back when i was a fetus i was aborted. it didn't hurt at all, but i was also high on life at the time. - thisangelicrage

its not rape....its surprise sex. you wake up and SURPRISE you had sex with me haha - huckster989

___________________

The following post is a piece of shit.
 
ah, now that it is midnight again, and a new day, the next award goes to............... Lateralis

You know the Nazis had pieces of flair that they made the Jews wear.

once back when i was a fetus i was aborted. it didn't hurt at all, but i was also high on life at the time. - thisangelicrage

Smuggs has a good point. Julia Roberts tried eating me when i was an orphan, but i bit her toe off, so she left me alone. - misterbinz

its not rape....its surprise sex. you wake up and SURPRISE you had sex with me haha - huckster989
 
^Note: that isn't crystal. I agree that you might want to rename this... like, the John Andrew Steward award for Intellectual Mediocrity. I think that works well.

------------

In a haze

A stormy haze

I’ll be around

I’ll be loving you

Always

Always

Here I am

And I’ll take my time

Here I am

And I’ll wait in line

Always

Always...
 
meh, ok, the name itself was supposed to be stupid as well... you know.... ill just dole out the award until i get bored

__________________

You know the Nazis had pieces of flair that they made the Jews wear.

once back when i was a fetus i was aborted. it didn't hurt at all, but i was also high on life at the time. - thisangelicrage

its not rape....its surprise sex. you wake up and SURPRISE you had sex with me haha - huckster989

___________________

The following post is a piece of shit.
 
you should post a date so we know waht day the award is given out

JIBARITO

(its actually a restaurant in Peurto Rico)

Guitaring for life

 
can we submit quotes or links to threads to you via pm to help you decide the recipient of the golden wheelchair?

_______________

Afterlame, fall 04

Watch The Scanners! Its unreal

 
Maybe once a week... once a day seems like a lot. Then again, there are about a million dumb posts a day so it won't be too much work.

**********

'Families is where our nation finds hope, where wings take dream.'

'I understand small business growth. I was one'

-Dubya!
 
maybe we can convince harvey to put little gold handicap symbols next each persons name who recieves it. It won't ever happen but it would be a good way to distinguish people

 
thatd be pretty awesome local boyz... altough 90% of all members would probably wind up with one. and yeah, im not omniscient... send me all the stupidity you can find. i'll post it til i get bored... and about the dates... each post is already dated.

__________________

You know the Nazis had pieces of flair that they made the Jews wear.

once back when i was a fetus i was aborted. it didn't hurt at all, but i was also high on life at the time. - thisangelicrage

its not rape....its surprise sex. you wake up and SURPRISE you had sex with me haha - huckster989

___________________

The following post is a piece of shit.
 
Today's winner is bleu-rodeo's 'relief of horniness' post. Guy or girl, that's one useless post.

__________________

You know the Nazis had pieces of flair that they made the Jews wear.

once back when i was a fetus i was aborted. it didn't hurt at all, but i was also high on life at the time. - thisangelicrage

its not rape....its surprise sex. you wake up and SURPRISE you had sex with me haha - huckster989

___________________

The following post is a piece of shit.
 
what you should do is start a cult and a commitee, invite like 10 people,and discuss it, make it wekly so there's time for discussion, and invite people like me (not necessarily me) that do nothing all dy but hang on newschoolers, but they have to be incredibly witty too

and I think its a good idea

'Really, I gotta say that I'm glad you exist, 'cause if there wasn't there'd be noone to make fun of and diss.'

Solider in the NS ARMY

603 for life
 
i wanna be on the commitee. i'll message you the stupidest comment of the day

_______________________

I'm liberal, just so you all know
 
im surprised people are taking htis seriously... whatever... thats cool... find me a stupid quote, from the same day as you post it, top 10 are in and we'll make a cult about it...or something equally pointless.

__________________

You know the Nazis had pieces of flair that they made the Jews wear.

once back when i was a fetus i was aborted. it didn't hurt at all, but i was also high on life at the time. - thisangelicrage

its not rape....its surprise sex. you wake up and SURPRISE you had sex with me haha - huckster989

___________________

The following post is a piece of shit.
 
HAHAHAHAHAA I., JOHN ANDREW STEWARD AM HONORED FOR BEING THE NAMESAKE OF THE AWARD JD MAY

NINTHWARD-ITS A SKI COMPANY, BITCH!

WORLD FREERIDE CAMP SESSION 3 BIOTCHES

I respected the guy until skibrdginbitch was telling me how she 'dated' him for her two weeks at camp. Hahaha god, I dont know whether to feel worse about skibrdginbtch being an idiot, or TJ and his new batch of STD's- dspin7x
 
and you spelled my last name right!!!!!

NINTHWARD-ITS A SKI COMPANY, BITCH!

WORLD FREERIDE CAMP SESSION 3 BIOTCHES

I respected the guy until skibrdginbitch was telling me how she 'dated' him for her two weeks at camp. Hahaha god, I dont know whether to feel worse about skibrdginbtch being an idiot, or TJ and his new batch of STD's- dspin7x
 
i did't change the name, but don't worry, i'm sure you'll get one... and you can be a sort of honorary recipient until then.

__________________

You know the Nazis had pieces of flair that they made the Jews wear.

once back when i was a fetus i was aborted. it didn't hurt at all, but i was also high on life at the time. - thisangelicrage

its not rape....its surprise sex. you wake up and SURPRISE you had sex with me haha - huckster989

___________________

The following post is a piece of shit.
 
i was wondering who this john andrew whoever was... it all makes sense now...

Mercy's eyes are blue

When she places them in front of you

Nothing holds a roman candle to

The solemn warmth you feel inside

 
theres a cult cimmitee now... if you think youre good enough, your smart enough, and doggonit people like you... PM me.

__________________

You know the Nazis had pieces of flair that they made the Jews wear.

once back when i was a fetus i was aborted. it didn't hurt at all, but i was also high on life at the time. - thisangelicrage

its not rape....its surprise sex. you wake up and SURPRISE you had sex with me haha - huckster989

___________________

The following post is a piece of shit.
 
Today's winner is:

Ice-Is-Scary

2006 posts

No Life

2004-07-15 12:50:22

Ok please explain to me what you mean by your a conservative democrat is that kinda like african-american?

congrats.

a close seconde is the 'whats the hot girl thread' thread... although legitimacy was an issue.

__________________

You know the Nazis had pieces of flair that they made the Jews wear.

once back when i was a fetus i was aborted. it didn't hurt at all, but i was also high on life at the time. - thisangelicrage

its not rape....its surprise sex. you wake up and SURPRISE you had sex with me haha - huckster989

___________________

The following post is a piece of shit.
 
haha thats great it was a joke by the way so please hold the 'you insensitive racist' private messages

-thanks management

God is an American.
 
haha Thats a great Idea.

Hope it lasts for a while

--------------------------------------------------

well then come visit me, oh my rules must be made clear : no lube allowed, no cum dodging and most of all no condoms and we must perform ass to mouth several times throughout the session.

Thanks,

Lateralis

i love 12 year olds, theyre so tasty and fresh, nice tight pink twats ready to plow open with my meat stick............oh wait your talking about 12 year fags on this site, oops - Lateralis

thats nothing, try calling the teachers nephew a retard so she freaks out and shoves a meter stick up your ass and tells you to jump up and down on it, towards the end of the year i would call her nephew a retard everyday just so i could bounce up and down on a meter stick, the other classmates even paid to take off my clothes while i did it - Lateralis

f i was a fat black chick, id live in a zoo- Lateralis

have nothing, I dont save anything from ns, i have mostly porn on my comp tho- Lateralis

hahah yeah, if i was able to do a 1620 smoothly with a grab, do you think id still be in a shit ass town with a tiny ass hill?? no id be in mammoth ripping it up everyday repping my sponsors!-Lateralis

I almost broke my penis once, i fell down
 
thats a good idea....almost as good as suckling harveys sweet milk from his nipple tht lets us in the ns world live

dont go to new york. all it has to offer is i love ny stickers

member 9020

newbies are our future unless if we stop them now!

'dont fuck with me cause the last person that fucked with me....well they lived a pretty normal life'- misty7
 
haha ice-is-scary said that about me, apparently diversity in thought is impossible

dont worry about what i can or cant do, worry about what you cant do to me
 
Spam_Man_5000

I break drywall because it is not very good made. Then I try to break drywall that is five inches thick. It is well made. Why do trees eat green?

Winning post for 7/16

__________________

You know the Nazis had pieces of flair that they made the Jews wear.

once back when i was a fetus i was aborted. it didn't hurt at all, but i was also high on life at the time. - thisangelicrage

its not rape....its surprise sex. you wake up and SURPRISE you had sex with me haha - huckster989

___________________

The following post is a piece of shit.
 
Let me be the first to congratulate you.

Warning: If you are reading this then this warning is for you. Every word you read of this useless fine print is another second off your life. Don't you have other things to do? Is your life so empty that you honestly can't think of a better way to spend these moments? Or are you so impressed with authority that you give respect and credence to all who claim it? Do you read everything you're supposed to read? Do you think everything you're supposed to think? Buy what you're told you should want? Get out of your apartment. Meet a member of the opposite sex (or same sex if you prefer). Stop the excessive shopping and masturbation. Quit your job. Start a fight. Prove you're alive. If you don't claim your humanity you will become a statistic.

You have been warned…

 
Today's winner from the SG:

Subject: Painting Ski Bases

InfernoHits

184 posts

Pro

2004-07-16 13:22:45

How can you custom paint the base of skis?

__________________

You know the Nazis had pieces of flair that they made the Jews wear.

once back when i was a fetus i was aborted. it didn't hurt at all, but i was also high on life at the time. - thisangelicrage

its not rape....its surprise sex. you wake up and SURPRISE you had sex with me haha - huckster989

___________________

The following post is a piece of shit.
 
you should have it for once a week or something to make it more pristegious. otherwise everybody and their mother is going to have a golden wheelchair.

...............................................................................................

-steve

[i treat each day like its game seven in overtime.

born to shine at home and over border lines.]
 
Well, we at the The Golden Wheelchair Designation of Ignorance Commitee have been thinking that too... if a member feels a final daily award is due tomorrow... well today i guess... sunday the 18th, that will be the last, otherwise saturday was. After this point, all Golden Wheelchair awards will be given out to the worst and the dimmest of the NS community weekly, on Fridays. And do not worry, we will continue running this joke into the ground until long after you've stopped laughing.

C-N-A-P, Self-Appointed-Chairman.

__________________

You know the Nazis had pieces of flair that they made the Jews wear.

once back when i was a fetus i was aborted. it didn't hurt at all, but i was also high on life at the time. - thisangelicrage

its not rape....its surprise sex. you wake up and SURPRISE you had sex with me haha - huckster989

___________________

The following post is a piece of shit.
 
because if the award is still entertaining to us, who cares if its entertaining to anyone else...

Mercy's eyes are blue

When she places them in front of you

Nothing holds a roman candle to

The solemn warmth you feel inside

 
i'm honored! thanks babe

Rizzodazzle-'i am a girl so i'm permitted to slight pussiness'

*CAM

VIVA LOS ESEs

********************

********************

NWFT 4 EVER

(O.o)

 
I think of the week is better. Make a cult, people will scan the forums and post the stupid things they see, and then the grandmaster picks one, after the leaders of the cult break it down to 10 stupid things.

C-Man
 
^That's what we do... this week's presentation will be in about half an hour.

------------

In a haze

A stormy haze

I’ll be around

I’ll be loving you

Always

Always

Here I am

And I’ll take my time

Here I am

And I’ll wait in line

Always

Always...
 
^I love how you were a finalist for the first one too, I didn't realize that until just now.

------------

In a haze

A stormy haze

I’ll be around

I’ll be loving you

Always

Always

Here I am

And I’ll take my time

Here I am

And I’ll wait in line

Always

Always...
 
The Hidden Headquarters of our Omnipresent Cabal

Warning: If you are reading this then this warning is for you. Every word you read of this useless fine print is another second off your life. Don't you have other things to do? Is your life so empty that you honestly can't think of a better way to spend these moments? Or are you so impressed with authority that you give respect and credence to all who claim it? Do you read everything you're supposed to read? Do you think everything you're supposed to think? Buy what you're told you should want? Get out of your apartment. Meet a member of the opposite sex (or same sex if you prefer). Stop the excessive shopping and masturbation. Quit your job. Start a fight. Prove you're alive. If you don't claim your humanity you will become a statistic.

You have been warned…

 
the goldne whell chair is liek the fuckin godlen baskte thing that homeless dude has but with more mobiklity. its sick. and pimped to.

----2ond in Command of DANSA-----

To Huck. v. The act of throwing oneself off of a cornice, cliff, rock, or any other thing that results in an attempt to fly.

If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit.
 
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