Post whats on your mind

amen. ladies are all into subtleties and dudes are into being blunt and getting their point across. We miss their subtleties and they read too far into what we say, and we end up with massive misunderstandings.
 
@big sity

you arent that weird sounds to me like you need to surround yourself with better people. do you hang with people that are jerks often?
 
I do a lot of this. Over analyzing and over thinking everythning to the point of always being sad about something. I do this thing where before I get happy or hopeful or relaxed I analyze everything in my life and see if I have something I should be worrying or bothered about and then try to fix it and if I can't I just think about it constantly. Also the other day I started freaking the fuck out because when I was driving I felt this pull to just swerve in the other lane when a car was coming at me. To the point where I had to pull over because I thought the next one coming I would do it. i also do the brick thing and if I step on a crack or a line between tiles I have to step on another with the other foot otherwise I get this weird feeling like I am off balance. Also when I drive most of the time every time I pass a power pole or some recurring thing like that I flex a certain muscle like in my leg. Are you intelligent? I mean like are you a good critical thinker and have a high IQ? Just curious.
 
i have felt this way for a long time. do you feel like you ask for a lot of favors but dont get much in return? like you have given a lot of good karma but havent been much of a recipient? sometimes you just have to be assertive. the majority of people will may be bothered by given orders at first, but will forget about it less than 5 seconds later. you dont have to be a jerk, but giving orders can be fun once you get the hang of it. how are you gonna be a boss of a company or somebody's dad if you feel obligated to give orders? im no psychiatrist but ive been around and seen a lot and been through a lot of shit in my life.

posting this because its relevant, not to be funny.

okay its funny too.
 
Damn buddy, it's amazing how similar we are.

I for some reason for the last few years have got to thinking and I always come to bullshit conclusions that I'm so much different from other people my age. That I'm special and for some reason I should be better recognized when in reality I mean absolutely nothing.

Just about every single time I'm alone, unless something great has happened to me, I get very depressed. Any non-school night when there's nothing to do, or something is going on and I'm home, I just feel awful. If I missed a party, or anything like that, I get the feeling of being "left out" which makes me extremely depressed. For example, just today I was hanging out with Jared and Richie, and at one point Richie referred to "the boys" as him, Jared, and Noah. No Zinter. For some reason I am now merely an extra, when at one point it was us four, and even before that I recall Jared specifically saying "no richie allowed" when we hung out. This for some reason ruined my day. It shouldn't have.

It's because I have a terrible self esteem. I used to be able to speak publicly without a problem. Now, even though I don't feel nervous, I'll get up there and start shaking and come across all goofy. I think it's because I feel the need to be accepted.

I could just about quote what you said about mentioning things you've done. I always want to tell people this shit they won't care about, but I usually don't because I don't want to look like I'm trying to be cool or something.

Regrets, I've had a few. But not in the last 5 years or so. I haven't been able to feel any real remorse for such a long time that I've almost forgotten what it feels like. Obviously sometimes I can feel guilty about something, but not to a great extent and not for long.

I've always had thoughts about the edge of ending my life. Saying little things to myself like, "if I can't do this simple thing, I'll end it here." "If the dice doesn't roll a 4, I'll do this." Of course I don't do it, but for some reason I always test myself to see what it would be like to be at that brink. It's really fucked up.

I do the sidewalk thing. I over analyze social things which would seem simple to the average guy.

We are not the average guy though. You more so than I, but I feel there is a direct correlation to intelligence with how we think about things. We look too deeply. Our emotions can't handle it. We get depressed. It's amazing you brought this up, because I spend a lot of time thinking about this stuff. Thinking about thinking. It gets really fucky.

We are weird. Or maybe everyone is this way but they haven't analyzed it. I don't know. What I do know is we are different. We are thinkers. It has troubled me plenty, and it does all the time. It may not look like it, but I have no self esteem. I have also gained some form of superiority complex from it. I feel better than the majority of people. Exceptions to this include my cousin Mike, and you.

From hanging out with you, you have surprised me a lot. I didn't expect it, but you and I seem to think the same way about a lot of stuff. Or at least the way I perceive it. I don't know about you.

There's so much other shit but I didn't want to write a book and I wanted to keep it generally based off of what you posted.
 
You sounds like me. Like exactly. All the shit you said resonates with me and I hate saying it or like bragging about it and shit but I have a very high IQ and am pretty fucking intelligent I guess. You know what they say, "ignorance is bliss," so maybe we just see how fucked up the world is and it gets us down. Me at least.
 
Holy fuck I don't know either of you guys but fuck me man I thought I was the only one who ever thought or did any shit like this and it literally sounds like me typing what both of you guys are saying.

I hate hate hate getting left out of shit. Especially because my parents are really strict and sheltering and never let me go out and shit with my friends so then they just sort of forget about me and when I'm sitting at home reading statuses from my best friends talking about how much fun they had and shit I get so bummed out I start crying sometimes.

And the remorse thing is the same for me. Lying to people close to me comes so easily it is scary. Maybe it's because I'm generally smart enough to get away with it I don't feel any remorse at all when I lie to my girlfriend or my parents and I hate that about myself.

And I like what you said. "We are thinkers." you fucking nailed it. I think, all the time. About everything. Thoughts just fucking spin and spin in my head at a million miles an hour all fucking day. Then I found weed when I was 13 and fell into a fucking weed coma where I was stoned 24/7 all I did every day all day was smoke weed because when I'm stoned my thoughts slow down to a manageable pace and I don't think about how fucked up everything and everyone is including myself. Sorry for the book but this is shit that I keep bottled up in my head and think about constantly but never share with anyone so it's really cool to see people thinking the same stuff.
 
Forgot to say I just came out of that "weed coma" about 3 or 4 months ago and only smoke on occasion like once or twice a month now because of family and gf issues.
 
Yep, not going to bother about writing up all my feelings about this because you 3 pretty summed it all up for me.

I am constantly thinking, have an extremely active imagination (best described as Huey for Boondocks), and trying to think of ways to become a better person yet as soon as I step out my door and see what some of my closest friends are doing and how happy they are being douche bags and dicks to everyone and they still get whatever they want I get all depressed and think as to why they get it so damn easy. Not really related but that's an example as to one of the reasons for me feeling way down. I just get confused and feel left out as one of the only kids who actually thinks more into situations and figures things out, everyone else shouts YOLO.

That's why I quit smoking weed because it makes my thought process move even more rapidly which is a bad thing because it makes me almost feel insane and out of control and speeds up the depression rate and I think about how much of a waste my life is for my beliefs and trajectory and stuff. That's why I'm never going to try any hallucinogens again because I know for a fact I will kill myself purposefully on it. Now looking back I see myself not really related to you guys, just lost. Maybe I'm just a big bitch who thinks to much and can't have fun like a grumpy grandpa. Fuck.

 
That's a fucking relief. Sometimes I hang out with my friends and just vent on things semi-related to this and they just sit there saying nothing and when I'm done they're just like, "Let's go get some food." Or some shit as if they've completely ignored everything I had just said and again I feel out of place and even more depressed than before.
 
Yeah, I have deep conversations but not emotional, it's more about our existence and all that outer space stuff.
 
holy fuck this is me so much. whenever i'm alone i always seem to think everything is shitty. and i am so lucky compared to some people. i live a very, very easy and comfortable life and yet i find myself getting so worked up about little things like girls and friends and shit that really doesn't matter. ever since i was about 14 i've been quite, as i say, "realistic" but everyone says i'm negative. i really want to get out of that mindset
 
See, that's all I need, just one friend that is that open back. And I added you.

Also to OG_Skier up there I'm in for a cult.
 
Dude weed just speeds my mental processes up even more. My parents are very controlling like you said, so I am just constantly being paranoid about that, and moreso I will just be sitting back constantly analyzing peoples actions and things they say all the time in a negative and cynical way. It used to not be like that, but now I dont even smoke because It was effecting me so negatively. I just get these terrible thoughts about peoples motivation and about why I do the things i do, etc. and it makes me real depressed and I feel like the insecure 7th grader i was so long ago. My normal self has developed coping mechanisms but weed just destroys those and i become irrationally depressed and anxious. like anxious to the point where I will be sitting on a couch with somebody and they can feel my heart racing. like anxious to the point where I cannot control my breathing properly.

so, weed is not for me anymore. it makes me feel terrible. alcohol however...
 
I suck at ordering stuff online. I always order the wrong size or ship it to the wrong adress. I need to learn to take my time and double check orders haha
 
Wow. You, sitty, and Zimmerman just explained my life. Minus the weed and suicidal thoughts.

I often think deep, soo deeply that in fact I often scare myself with the dark thoughts that roam around in my head. Not evil thoughts, but not happy ones either; more of a "Who Am I" or "Who would I be" question running through my mind.

I often would lay awake, thinking I must be special because I have found no evidence of people thinking the way I do, feeling the way I do, or coming to reason with the same level of conscious analysis the way I do.

I ALWAYS feel as though I'm too mature for my age (16). It probably doesn't help to be an only child, not ever sharing thoughts with anyone like a bro or a sis. I get treated as though I'm at least in my 20's because I act and look like it. Customers that come into the shop that "I" run are often surprised to hear that I'm a student working part time.

And like all the others that have posted above, I too have a very high IQ and have always had an incredible amount of intelligence. And like the others above, I also hate the feeling of bragging.

But back to the topic of analyzing. I OVER ANALYZE A TON. I don't know why but the greatest idea CAN turn bad (I've recently found that this goes both ways and good comes from this too). Although I'm a realist, depressing thoughts come across me often. I can have the best of day, and the simplest rude gesture someone gives me can ruin it, making me feel un-appreciated.

I always try to put on a positive, fun, loving, happy facade when around people at school, when in reality I'm a jumble of ideas and thoughts analyzing everything all the time.

Sorry if this story book kind of jumps around a bit, I'm just rattling off what comes to mind when I think. Hope someone can relate.
 
I think overanalyzing is an only-child trait. I'm also an only-child and I over-analyze far too much haha
 
Glad someone else is with me on this one! You ever get the "Spoiled Child" taunts at school because of the only-child situation? I get it all the time. I always just wanna say "Fuck you! I don't have anyone to split the chores with bitch!" lol And why would I work everyday if I was already spoiled? I don't know why Im writing this, but this thread is probably the right place.. It's what's on my mind.
 
Best girl friend locked herself in her bathroom, tried to commit suicide, but her mom called the cops in time and they took her away in cuffs and brought her to a suicide watch at the station. Knew it was only a matter of time that she tried it again. Literally nothing i can do though but talk to her.. sucks :/
 
I feel you man. It's crazy to we all these people feeling the same things that I do when I had the same mind set as you guys. A sort of supierority complex where I am the only one who thinks and consciously analyzes the world arouns me in the way that I do. Luckily I have a brother a year older than me that Ai am really close to who is exactly the same but he has serious anger issues and takes his frustration that we feel out on people in anger. But he's the only one I feel is my intellectual equal and I cam talk to him abouts all this stuff. I'm gonna make a cult and post some stuff if any of you would care to join PM me because I think a lot od people reading this are gonna interpret it wrong and think I'm just some asshole who thinks he is smarter than everyone.
 
Nah, not at all. I have a brother and I over-analyze/over think everything to the point where it comes out to something I did wrong or whatever. It's not just an only-child trait at all.
 
I don't think it's coincidence that we all feel the same way. It's called being human. I think the meaning of life is be content and to go through this life experiencing as many aspects of it as you can. I too hate getting left out of things. And often feel incomplete and depressed. But when I look at the night sky and realize how small I am, everything is put into retrospective and I realize that life is too short to spend it feeling incomplete and depressed.
 
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