Post an evil joke thread

there is a WHITE man driving down the street, and whenever he sees an indian, he swerves and hits the REDSKIN RODENT. anyway so the WHITE guy keeps repeating this, until he sees a cop on the road, with his car broken down. He was WHITE also, so he picks him up. The WHITE driver passes many INDIANS on the road, and one comes up with a mowhawk, so he obviously coudnt resist the urge to HIT THE FUCKING SQUAW. but the cop wa sitting right next to him. he waited and waited until finally he said fuck it and went for the NATIVE. he was to late. he missed the INDIAN on the passenger side. the WHITE driver starts swearing. "i fucking missed him" he said. the cop looks up to him and says "no, i got him with my door. they take a sip of canadian beer and die in a car crash. karma i guess

machavok.com

The whole mountain is park on a powder day. -dylhole
 
A female police officer arrests a man for drunk driving.

The female officer tells the man, "Sir, you have the right to remain silent.

Anything you say can and will be held against you..."

The drunk replies; "Tits."

 
what do acne and mike jackson have in common?

they both cum on little boys faces just prior to puberty

Why don't you see any black people in the Flintstones?

Because they were still monkeys

~~~~~~~~*****~~~~~~~~~

If it aint Gorilla, it aint Steeze
 
One morning around 5 am 22 year old Susan DaLucci of Kittery Maine, woke up with a painful need to urinate. At first she thought she had diarrhea, but when she stood up out of bed, she realized that it was urinary pain.

It was very similar to the feeling of having diarrhea, just out the wrong hole. She wobbled to the toilet and upon sitting on it, her vagina erupted into the most horrific messy farting noise anyone has ever heard. In paralyzing pain, Ms. DeLucci for the next few minutes continued to push and squirt out of her vagina a burning tide of wretch and filth while she gripped the sides of the toilet, white-knuckled. She was screaming wildly, and the neighbors called the police. When medics arrived they found Ms. DeNucci unconscious lying on the floor of her bathroom wearing nothing but her bath robe. Running down her leg, was a stream of brown and green syrup. The medic had to transfer her to a stretcher, so he grabbed her left leg which was bent crossing her other leg, to straighten her out. She was lying there all twisted up. When he lifted her left leg to straighten her body out, he exposed her vagina at which point a creature, no larger than the tip of a finger wormed its way out of her genitals and landed on the floor with a wet popping sound.

Shocked, the medic stared at the creature that was lying on the tile bathroom floor in a casing of mucous. It was a tiny mud shrimp and it sat there on the cold floor gasping for water while flipping itself back and forth. The horrified medic turned to the toilet as he felt the nausea setting in. When he put his face down into the toilet to puke what he saw was so horrific that to this day he cannot look into a toilet without convulsing. The entire toilet bowl was boiling with baby brown mud shrimp flipping and splashing at a furious pace. If you think that is bad - wait until you hear how it happened:

Ms. DeLucci official death was the result of a combination of shock and severe head trauma. She stood up over the toilet in pain and when she saw what she had done, she went into shock and fell, smashing her head on the toilet and then on the floor. It is believed by medical police that on two nights before the accident she had purchased a live lobster at a fish market. While lying in a tub, she gently inserted the creature's tail into her vagina to derive pleasure. At that point, she held a lighter under the creature's face causing it to flip its tail in a violent snapping motion. The medics found a lesbian XXX video in the VCR and the TV was positioned on a table in front of the tub.

The lobster was found in the kitchen garbage can wrapped in a paper bag. Traces of Ms. DeLucci's DNA were found on the lobster along with pubic hairs that had wedged themselves between the lobster tail joints. The lobster's face was lightly burned with the same fuel used in lighters. The lobster's digestive track and colon were found to be full of mud shrimp egg casings. Doctors believe that the lobster had eaten them (they are common in the water at fish markets and are usually harmlessly boiled to death) and the lobster had crapped them out into Ms. DeLucci's cunt when she was torturing it. Maine mud shrimp only take two days to gestate and Ms. DeLucci was only four days away from getting her period, doctors believe that at that point of her menstrual cycle, her womb was the perfect PH balance to grow these mud shrimp which are a much larger version of the popular "Sea Monkey" pets sold throughout the US.

Over night the eggs had hatched and the mud shrimp began doubling in size every ten minutes. You can imagine the pain she was in when she woke up that morning and gave birth to well over 1,000 mud shrimp in her toilet.

~~~~~~~~*****~~~~~~~~~

If it aint Gorilla, it aint Steeze
 
good god ^

***************************************
-Matt

wayne gretzky, the only man i'd have sex with. i'd be intimate with, wayne gretzky

I am soooo takin' the waffles... that's right brandon. I took your waffles
 
Pat Buchanan, Newt Gingrich, & George W. Bush are in a boat in the middle of the ocean. The boat is sinking. Who gets saved? The American People!

Why is George Bush so hard-headed?

His skull protects the weakest part of his body.

Q: What were George W. Bush's three hardest years?

A: Second grade.

After numerous rounds of 'We don't even know if Saddam is still alive', Saddam decides to send George W. a letter in his own writing to let him know that he is still in the game.

Bush opens the letter and sees only a coded message: "370HSSV-0773H". He can't figure it out, so he asks Karl Rove.

Rove suggests that the head of the CIA would certainly understand code, so Bush sends it to George Tenet. Tenet, however, can't figure it out, either. He suggests, "How about Condi? She has a doctorate, that means she's smart."

But Dr. Rice is baffled, too. As Bush is pondering the mysterious message lying on the desk before him, Colin Powell enters the Oval Office. When he sees the paper and reads what is written on it, he asks, "Sir, where did that come from?"

Bush replies testily, "Supposedly it's a message from Saddam. But what the hell does '370HSSV-0773H' mean?"

Powell clears his throat and replies, "Mr. President, I think you've been looking at the message upside down."

Go baby go, it's a skiing inferno.

 
wat do u call a paki with 2 wooden legs

a waste of lumber

wat do u call a bike wit a paki on it

a dirt bike

pretend you will give the guy head to give back your skis, he probably will accept, then once he whipps his cock out, steal it-SteezePatro

if you want to be a real gangster wear your ski boots to the dance. when he starts shit when youre
 
whats the difference between mashed potatoes and dead babies?

I dont like to eat mashed potatoes.

I'm sick of following my dreams, I'm just gonna ask where they're going and hook up with them later.

~Mitch Hedberg

 
this makes me feel so bad.. but;.....

what do you call a black guy on a bike?

crime.

what do you call two black guys on two bikes?

organized crime.

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how long does it take a black woman to take a shit?

nine months

(that makes me want to kill myself)

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A black guy, a mexican and a geno are in a car, whos driving?

the cops.

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How many jews can you fit in a volkswagon?

two in the front, three in the back, and a couple million in the ashtray.

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then one of my personal favorites:

how do you kill a pink elaphant?

with a pink elaphent gun!

how do you kill a BLUE elaphent?

you show it elaphant porn, when it blushes you move quick and cap it with the pink elaphent gun

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SYC 2003 shout out

********OTTATREAL*********

It aint me, it aint me, I aint no senators soOOonnN, it aint me, it aint meEEE, I aint no fortunate oOONNE
 
ahahahhahahhahahahhahahha

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This is the llama. I have your cub. You must protect her, but that will be expensive. 500 colonuts, wrapped in brown paper. Midnight, behind the box.

I'll be the hiena, you'll see.

-llama

 
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