Pizza Delivery Stories

JeremyClarkson

JeremyClarkson

Active member
Some weird shit has happened to me since I started doing deliveries for my local Domino's Pizza. Sometimes the job is great and sometimes it sucks ass. Here are some good reasons why...

When it comes to drunk people they're always a hit or miss. If you get the happy Friday night drunks you can expect to get much love and usually a fat tip. Other times they're just stone cold assholes. The biggest tip Ive ever received though was from a guy who was so utterly shithoused he almost falls through the doorway when he opens it. The total was around 15 bucks so the guy pulls out two twenties and hands em to me...."I don't think I have enough to make change for this sir". He pauses and grunts "ohrrr.. ffffuurck". He Takes out another twenty and hands it to me. Before I can say anything he slams the door and locks it. I walked away with huge grin and a 45 dollar tip on that one.

Delivering to trailer parks suck. The people are Jerks and nine times out of ten your not getting tipped. So one day I'm delivering to the trailer park and I finally find the trailer. I knock on the door and from inside I hear " Spidey senses tingling the pizzas here!" Lo and behold a guy in a full Spiderman suit answers the door and exclaims "hello citizen!". I start bursting out laughing but Spiderman just looks on from behind his mask. We complete the transaction and I say "Have a good one Spiderman" to which he replies "Have a spidey day!". He had to have been the real deal too because he tipped me 5 bucks.

Middle schoolers are usually the worst. They always got something to say or try. One kid we at the store like to call lard-o, is especially this. At least 4 or 5 times a week this kid will order the same extra large pizza with extra chese and pepperoni. He has to weigh at least 300 pounds and his parents are never home(???). He will usually tell you to get lost after he hands you exact change and money, he likes to open the box and if there isn't enough pepperoni he wants another one. Drivers in the past have cussed this kid out and have been written up after the kid calls management and complains. Thankfully he doesnt order as much but when I leave in the fall Im making sure that fat fucker gets a care package.

Im off to drink away my stresses. Peace Newschooler's stay frosty.

 
ordered pizza, changed our minds when he got there, got pizza man to drive us to Mcdonalds for $2. good deal IMO
 
This one time i was delivering a pizza and stuck my dick through the pizza box and three porn stars came to the door and I banged all of them
 
Not a PIZZA delivery story but still... I don't know if this is one of those 'had to be there' moments but I thought it was fucking hilarious.

I was in Montreal with some friends and who are underage in the US, so we obviously took advantage of the situation and got pretty drunk. A few hours later and it was only me and my friend Luca left drinking at a bar called The Piranha or something like that, everyone else had stumbled back to the hotel. We started walking back (I almost had to carry this kid) and made our way to our room. I propped Luca up against a wall and tried to open the door but my other friend (Jake) had locked the door with one of those chain lock things. Luca leaned up on the door and pressed his face against the peephole and was trying to see inside. Jake asked who it was and I told him, he said he'd be there in a second and walked over and unlatched the door. Luca was still pressed against the door and fell face first into the room right in front of a girl trying to get back into her pants. I apologized for interrupting, she left, and I helped Luca into a bed. He immediately got up, ran into the bathroom, and locked the door before I could do anything about it. I guess I didn't really care what he did at that point.

I looked over at Jake and noticed that he had never bothered to redress before (or after) answering the door and had laid down in bed with a sheet around his waist. I didn't give a fuck about that either, I just wanted to watch tv.

While I watched tv one of my other friends called our room and told us they had just gotten poutine at some restaurant. This made Jake really want some poutine, so he picked up the phone and dialed a completely fucking random number and was transferred to the front desk. Some poor Asian woman who could barely speak English or French answered and Jake yelled "CAN I GET SOME GODDAMN POO-TANG" and hung up. I was laughing so fucking hard and assumed the woman would just ignore the call but about 15 minutes later someone knocked, I opened the door and there was another barely audible Asian person holding a platter of poutine. I didn't know what to do and just kind of stood there but Jake invited the guy in. The dude walked around the corner and set the platter down and told Jake the price. Jake felt around for his wallet and realized he didn't have it on him so he threw off the sheet and started looking around for it completely naked. In the middle of all this Luca had burst out of the bathroom with a hairdryer, plugged it into an outlet next to the desk because he couldn't find the one in the bathroom, and started to blow dry is hair (which was already dry). The Asian man was confused.

 
Lol when I was like a freshman in high school me and my friends used to pay the people in a lot of change because we were completely baked and didn't realize we had to pay until the pizza was actually there and then when they were at the door we just scream "boobies" and "cocks" from the other room.. ahah kinda dumb now that I think about though
 
Usually just answer the door, pay for the pizza and give a tip. Plain and simple because I know the delivery guy probably hates his job so I wouldnt want to fuck him over.
 
i deliver pizza for the most popular/busiest place in the area, Angelinas.

i have so many stories including milfs, text messages from girls i delivered too, ect. i'll post them after because i'm about to leave for work now.

Angelinas in queensbury NY, ftw.
 
smoked with some randos before and I always rip a shot or two at this one house i deliver too, coolest people ever
 
How much is a normal tip for a pizza delivery guy? It's always a hard one to figure out for me because establishments make a big deal about how a delivery fee is not a tip. So I'm just curious as to what most of you guys tip.
 
Not pizza delivery but we had a beer with the Erbs and Gerbs delivery guy. Then someone smoked him up to.
 
Yeah we used to shotgun beers with the one older dude when he delivered. These days it's a couple bucks tip and "have a nice day"
 
One of my friends covered his chest in jelly and wore a mask that looked like a grandmother and was chased by another friend whose chest was covered in peanut butter and the chased each other around screaming its peanut butter jelly time hitch while another friend casually paid for the piazza like it was no big deal. Large tip was given too
 
delivery guy drops off pizza, asks for cash, i say i wanted the debit machine, he apologizes and gets in his car and leaves saying he'll be right back, doesn't come back.

nnnnnnnnice.
 
The newest guy in our house always has to open the door for the pizza wearing....

...nothing.

A tradition going back since 1978.

Oh the joy of old Dutch student homes.

This led to some really uncomfortable situations...even police in some cases.
 
there was a few weeks before I got my first car when I was 17 and delivering pizzas in my mom's x5 or my dad's s500 and once in his xjr which was pretty cool

it was probably my favorite job, high the whole time hanging out with friends and had a golden ticket to speed since we were the unofficial pizza place of the PD who all went to high school with the owner. we also had a grav in the basement.
 
he left the pizza with us and never came back.

what's the only thing better than pizza when you're hammered?

free pizza.
 
I tip 20% or $1 per item, whichever is more, and then I round up.

So if it's $17 for 5 items It's $3.40 ($4) or $5, I'd tip $5. So I basically always tip $4 to $6. I only get delivery from Dominos, so I'm not sure what the more expensive places charge, but I'd tip to go along with that. I think Z Pizza is like $20 for a large pizza and they charge a delivery charge, so if it was $25 including the deliver charge. I'd still tip $5.

But when I'm drunk I usually never have $1 bills on me and tip in multiples of $5s. So if My bill is $21, I'd usually give $30 cause I don't think $4 is enough.. even though it's only 20 cents shy of 20%.

Ok, too much math, not enough work.
 
relevant:

dom8.jpg


dom1.jpg
 
me and my friends ordered pizza while doing that, its not a big deal, we offered him a hit but he said he had to get back to work
 
Laughed alot in this thread. When i was younger ordering pizza with friends, we would always get the delivery mans autograph
 
A couple of my friends and I were really baked and we ordered pizza, it came to like 30 something and one of my buddies got the idea to pay the guy entirely in change. So the delivery guy comes and my buddy just hands him a fistful of change. the look on his face was priceless the delivery guy just puts it on the table and starts counting it. at that point my buddy just pulls out cash and paid him it was jokes though because he thought we were serious.
 
Well my favorite is the time me and my roomates came stumbling home shitfaced to find a Dmoino's delivery guy standing at our front door. I asked him what address he was looking for (wasn't ours but said it was) and then said "Its paid on a card right?" he says yes, and we take the pizza, enjoy it thoroughly, and never had any issue with having free pizza delivered to our doorstep at 1:30 in the morning.

And of course the usual pizza guy came in for a shot, beer bong whatever, thats always fun
 
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