Pipe Skiers and Mental Disorders

SteveStepp

Active member
As the Dew Tour dawns new and exciting progression in our sport, it's also beginning to reveal a dark and macabre defect in the minds of our pipe skiers. Deeply seeded in the brains of these athletes exist several mental disorders, that until recently, have hidden themselves quietly in wait.

Agoraphobia is an anxiety disorder in which the person experiences intense fear and anxiety, and a fear of being in places where escape might be difficult, or where help might not be available. Almost every single dedicated super pipe athlete, with the exception of a few, spends countless hours weaving between the walls of a metaphorical prison cell. A solitary confinement in which the rider cannot escape without extreme fear of jumps, rails, or other people. These riders live in constant vigilance of many other disordered athletes, who feel an ingrained need to spin faster, and flip more just to keep their minds from succumbing to the fears of the outside world.

It can be clearly seen that after each completed super pipe run, these damaged minds wildly wave their hands and poles in hopes of attracting attention from outsiders. Although bizarre, this ritual makes the riders feel more comfortable, and acts to intimidates fellow contestants. The three or four designated psychologists who evaluate the subjects respond favorable to these outbursts; This suggests the waving ritual has a positive coping effect for the individuals.

In rare cases, super pipe riders will couple agoraphobia with multiple personality disorder. Examples of this exist in subjects such as Torin Yater Wallace, who displays these characteristics in pipe and slopestyle. He must be weary of how these disorders develop.

Fortunately there are treatment options. Stay as far away from super pipes as possible.

#OccupySuperPipes

 
i think it's awesome watching them because it reminds me of how excited i get when i chase after a ball or see a female dog in heat! but i am concerned with their mental health as human beings though... they shouldn't act like that.
 
Maybe skiers who hit ball-crunching rails are also subconsciously trying to escape the inevitable life-changing pressures of fatherhood.

They're sliding on a tightrope of paternity.
 
Every time I nut a rail I pray it makes me infertile, I fucking hate kids, and love skiing rails.
 
fuck yes.

Then we would be able to classify pipe skiing as a mental disorder in the DSM!

But seriously Steve, this is one of the best threads I have ever seen on NS. Quality reading material.
 
I see it more of an addiction, but interesting take. Who should we be more worried about? The skiers, or the skier who diagnosed them?
 
This is why Tanner Hall types in all caps. The agoraphobia has caused him to scream for attention to the outsiders of his event.
 
Very interesting hypothesis Dr. Stept. I am intrigued with these observations. Would you be willing to cite some of your sources?
 
well big homie.....there's an exception to every rule. In this case, that exception would be Duncan Adams. Homie does work, doesn't wave hands, and doesn't spin fast.

In fact, I'd watch Duncan's pipe run over 75% of the comp slope runs I've seen here in Breck over the last few days.
 
dammit....I thought I was all cool and clever shouting out Dunc, turns out I'm just the 10th guy to say the same thing. Oops.

Well, I'm just stoked that other people are digging it too.

I'm doing little write-ups about the events and I really only wanted to talk about Duncan.
 
nah i'm in salt lake. ive been watching pipe runs online, and i was pretty grossed out by almost every one but duncan's. it almost makes you think there's still hope for comp skiing. not one dub, and no temporary tornado 1260s with flailing arms. i was also pretty impressed by dorey and rolland's runs, but i think i've watched duncan's run 30+ times already. every hit is so damn proper.
 
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