Pick-up Lines

do you want to play army? i will lie low and oyu can blow the fuck out of me

fuck me if im wrong but isnt your name yolanda?

'Dont do drugs unless you have the commitment to be addicted.'
 
dfresh, those are the funniest ones yet...

that outfits very becoming on you, of course if i was on you i'd be cumming too

 
Scientists have determined that the average time for intercourse is four minutes. The average number of strokes per minute is nine, and since the average length of the penis is six inches, the average female received two hundred and sixteen inches or fifteen feet per intercourse. Three times per week, fifty two weeks in a year, so, 150 times 18 makes 2700 feet, or just over a mile and a half. If you are not getting your mile and a half, why not let me help out?

'Dont do drugs unless you have the commitment to be addicted.'
 
I dunno if someone said this cause I'm too lazy to read them all but

How bout u come over here and sit on my lap, we'll talk about the first thing that pops up

 
hehe, AT A PARTY LAST WEEKEND

cute quiet random guy no one knew barely brushed against me as he walked by...

me: (turn around) YOU JUST TOUCHED ME!

him: oh, I'm sorry (apologetically)

me: you wanted to get closer to me, didn't you? (smiling)

him: what?

me: you're attracted to me, aren't you?

him: (blushing) uuuuh... (confused)

me: I said, you find me attractive, don't you? Don't be embaressed. (jokingly)

People say I'm intimidating sometimes 'cause I'm often loud and just really not shy or anything, but I was being nice really because he didn't know anyone. After that he talked to me and the other kids I was with and he wasn't so quiet.

--------------------

charley ;)
 
My personal favorite-

'Girl you must be a parking ticket cuse you got fine written all over you'

'There are only two powers in the world...the sword of the oppressor and the spirit of the oppressed. In the long run, the sword is always defeated by the spirit.'
 
thing that sucks is pick up lines don't work

dude, one time, I snorted ketchup off of a pizza. that sucked.

Oh yeah, republicans suck, you right winged conservative bastards, have fun burning in hell!!!!
 
me: LOOK AT THIS ::pulls down pants::

girl: ::runs away laughing her ass off::

i dunno why they laugh........i thought they were suppose to do other things

'We're pro choice, we think everyone should have the right to smoke pot or not' - Sublime

'If you don't like my fire, then don't come around. Cuz I'm gonna burn one down!' - Ben Harper
 
That is by far theee funniest things I have read in a long time! AHAHAHAAHAHAAHAAA!!!!!! Dude you are just so freaken hilarious.

Matt

'If there's grass on the field then play ball'

~~Phunkin' Phatt Phreerider~~
 
lets do math

first we will add the bed, subtract the cloths, divide the legs, and multiply

FIS SUCKS
 
Hey your pretty hot wanna have breakfast sometime?

*Props to the crazed poasting bros*

'Slayer makes me feel like a man'-JF Cusson

 
cannnnn I snatch a kiss or vice versa?

'Image your Bob Marley smoking the fattest fucking spliff in the world.......now grind that fucking rail!' - MDfresh (Doug Bishop)
 
A weird guy nust have putted pics of you everu where cause the only thing I see is you...

Your signature has been changed to: (trust me, the '' things aren't actually there)

President of the crazed posting brother of NS.com

I'm feeling greeaaaattt!!!!
 
pick up lines are sooo bad when theyre actually used, this kid tried the licking on his finger than rubbing it on the girl and saying 'oh, those clothes are wet, better take them off', she was makin fun of him like crazy, it was sooooooooo funny

 
I've seen Harvey do the magazine bit. It works, well all but once, she thought he was joking, so he pulled out a NS sticker.

So, he picks up for me, cause hes got pebbles :)

 
harvey's gonna get caught... hehe

said to me 'you've got more curves then a mtn. highway'

a KiSs iS A KiSs, KiSsEs ArE tAsTeD. KIsSeS HaVe gErMs aNd gErMs aRe hAtEd, So kIsS Me bAbY, iM VaCcInAtEd!

 
My 2 personal favourites that I'm surprised no one mentioned are:

1) Do you have a quarter? My mom told me to call home when I met the guy/girl of my dreams

2) Did it hurt when you fell??

Fell from where??

Fell from heaven cause I see an angel in front of me.

 
ahh! this is my first time reading this thread!

harvey, I want a divorce!

*POWER TO THE 2 KNOWN GEEKS OF NS.COM*
 
ohh man these are classic. can i snatch a kiss or vise versa? that ones first class

Prime founder and leader of the Eat your Carrots religious group. The snow god likes when you eat carrots.
 
Haha, thought of this one earlier...

~Sex is my sport, ya don't even need special shoes! Care to play a game?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

~~~~Phunkin' Phatt Phreerider~~~~

~PhattTim's a Hot Chick!

~'My huck doll does them in heaps, he's pretty fly'

PhattTim

~Peace~Love~Unity~Snow

~AIM Name= BigAirSkier1580
 
eh, i try...

----------------------------------------------

AntAdam: soy milk is a lot better for you

freestylesupreme: cow milk is the BEST....i'm going skiing. go drink your goat milk.
 
Hey pebles, if you divorce with matt, will you go out with me?????

PLEASE

President of the crazed posting brother of NS.com

I'm feeling greeaaaattt!!!!

 
haha, NO! Quebec no1! Back to your corner boy, I'm next in the pebbles queue

~~Phunkin' Phatt Phreerider~~

*SkierX IS A STUD MUFFIN*

 
damn....

I,ll tell phatt sarah about it then...

President of the crazed posting brother of NS.com

I'm feeling greeaaaattt!!!!

 
Does it mean I'm the next on the list pebs????

President of the crazed posting brother of NS.com

I'm feeling greeaaaattt!!!!

 
i must be a grocerybag, cause you are checkin me out!!

(this ones pretty stupid, i dont know why i even wrote that, i heard that somewhere......)

later--->chris

***Go big or go home***
 
After me and my friends started a band we went around saying 'I'm in a promising local punk band'

or simply 'I'm in a punk band' or the truth 'I'm in an amazingly sucky punk band' they all work just as well.

or all combined:

'I'm in a punk band

We are very promising

Acctually we really suck'

Taylor

Tele-Jibber

~ Phunkin' Phatt Phreerider ~

 
TIM!! WE ARE FINISHED! and cederic you too no sex ever for either of you! you go fter my friend pebbles! arg. your asking for a slap across your beau faces! stupid males..

I rule
 
LOL!!! That one was truly great...hahaha

Matt

'If there's grass on the field then play ball'

~~Phunkin' Phatt Phreerider~~
 
wait a minuit....what exactly ARE we trying to up here?

'you could have a bowling ball fall on your nuts from a 2 story building and not feel a thing'- Midwest Jibber

*Props to the crazed poasting bros*

'Slayer makes me feel like a man'-JF Cusson

 
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