Owned by Spatula

PowderCanuck

PowderCanuck

Active member
So my buddy has this girlfriend, and lately she's been hanging out with her ex alot. So, of course, my buddy gets suspicious. One night he asks her if she wants to go for a movie or something, and she says no shes already made plans with her ex. So immediately he gets suspicious. Him and another friend drive over to her place to see whats going on and when he gets there the guys car is there but all the lights are out. So he looks in the window and can see them making out.

Immediately he runs to the doors and starts smashing the door and screaming 'Open the fuckin door!' When no one opens the door, he winds up and kicks the door down, SWAT style (this is true, I even looked at the door the next day) and runs in.

When he gets inside, he sees the guy and starts running for him grabbing the closest handy blunt object he can find, which just happens to be a spatula. So he jumps on the guy (He isn't a lightwieght either... Imagine 230 pounds of spatula wielding rage flying towards you) and smashes his face a few times with the spatula.

So the guy is ok, but he had some pretty good spatula shaped cuts and bruises on his face that he'll be wearing for at least a week or two.

Don't know why I told this story, thought it was kinda funny.

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Screw this I'm going skiing
 
haha that is funny

Member # 1787

'this kids a total tool.... the only reason he gets to 'ski, skate and blaze cron with josh and tj' are bc they make him suck their cocks for companionship on the slopes..'
- ATLANTASKI
 
he shoulda grabbed a spoon. that wouldve been really funny. but that was pretty random

 
BAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAH KICKED THE DOOR IN AND OWENED HIM WITH A SPATCHULA !!!!!!!

***************************************

-Matt

my one friend was pushed into a pole and he riped his sack open on impact now we call him stitchie

ska is dead.... and you're next !
 
the rubber scraper-type spatula, or the peeling and lifting-type spatula?

oh, and badass story by the way. i feel bad for your buddy though.

-Joel

~Phunkin Phatt Phreerider~

Capital City Rider

Dragons Lair

I don't condone this.
 
At first i thought this was going to be a post about how the Volan Spatulas worked you. But the story was way funny anyways.

 
haha, the mental picture from that story is awesome, imagine the scene from inside of the house.

'hey look guys! For a dollar you can get a free condom!'

- a friend when she saw the condom dispenser in the bathroom

'We could give him milk after filling his epipen with heroin and turn him into a drug addict'

- a guy thinking of ways to get revenge on someone who is deathly allergic to milk
 
what happened to the girl. I mean its not like if he was raping her or anything. shes the one going out with somebody and she should be responsible for being faithfyl.

but thats hella funny

 
thats soo good. that would totally make you feel better about your cheating skank girlfriend. give her lover the beating of a life with a cooking utensil.

You gotta want that cow bell.
-CCR-
IAN
'everyday should be a good day to die'
-Dave Matthews
 
i ope he put the spatula into the bitch pussy, then force her to suk them bith then kill her by burning her aliv. that al she deserv

 
''Imagine 230 pounds of spatula wielding rage flying towards you.''

For some reason I'm having trouble forming a mental picture of this, actually.

------------

In a haze

A stormy haze

I’ll be around

I’ll be loving you

Always

Always

Here I am

And I’ll take my time

Here I am

And I’ll wait in line

Always

Always...
 
actually i might say he is kinda the one that got owned cause he sucked so much his girl was basically asking to be caught cheating on him. but then again a spatula beating is pretty good

 
haha imagine the marks on his face there like in the shape of a spatula like the 3 long holes and shit

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'ugh i hate kids like you who always ski backwards on your double sided skis while im snowplowing'- NewSchool450

'ski boards are like communism, they are good in theory but in reality they just dont work well.'-winterkid33

'and I'm like fuck you guys, I'm going skiing (cartman style).'-davidh

 
if that was a matchette spatula, man! it hurts!

*******************

PUNK'S NOT DEAD!

RAILS SUCK!

POWDER SKIING RULES!

DEATH TO SNOWBOARD-ERS!!

BUSH WON!!
 
Haha, at least I'm not the only one having a hard time picturing it. When I picture it, I see a happy-go-lucky fat dude running to a bake sale down the street. Who got beat, the ex? Or the one who kicked down the door?

----2ond in Command of DANSA-----

To Huck. v. The act of throwing oneself off of a cornice, cliff, rock, or any other thing that results in an attempt to fly.

If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit.

GW Award December 3, 2004
 
i would have slapped that bitch around a little too. its takes two to tango

wouldnt shit ya, you're my favorite terd

'i need to start doin some sweet grabs'-BJ
 
yeah that cheating slut deserved a good backhand for sure... I don't believe in hitting chicks, but damn, I'd a been pretty pissed

be original, hate your government
 
my friend jay lives with her boyfriend, a real funny guy. total dude. so he gets up one night to piss, and she was in the kitchen getting a drink. she thought it was someone breaking into their joint, its in a seedy part of town. she whacked him in the head with a cup. it shattered all over the place and cut him up pretty good. he wouldnt go home or talk to her for like a week

 
i thought you were gonna say the ex was using the spatula on the chick haha and he got owned...but awesome story haha

word

L-MOB fo lyfe
 
BAHHAHAHAHHAHAH THAT GUY IS MY HERO!

*Laura*

my mom has like 15 prada bags........ ATLANTASKI

i've seen alotta real good bitches go down
 
hahahahahha,thats why you should always carry a spork

___________________

We all smoke weed in our igloos, eh? Then we go and play hockey then eat poutines (I'm from a small area of Canada called Quebec) One month a year when there is no snow and some sun we go rollerblading - Markman
 
that has to be the worst conversation starter, so how did you get those bruses on your face? oh i was makin out with this girl who was cheatin on her boyfriend

If The women don't find you handsome... atleast they will find you handy

(Red Green)
 
thats the funniest thing ive read all day!

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Imagine 230 pounds of spatula wielding rage flying towards you - PowderCanuck
 
ahahah greatest story

member 9020

newbies are our future unless if we stop them now!

'dont fuck with me cause the last person that fucked with me....well they lived a pretty normal life'- misty7

'maybe i shold turn lesbien and get the girls'-misty7 'i can have sex with the snow'-misty7 on how winter will end his lonelyness

LOGIC HEADWEAR
 
he should have gone after the girl...she's the one who's cheating on him. Hitting the dude makes no sense, the dude probably didn't even know she had another 'boyfriend' and now his face is all cut up.

------------------------------------------------------------------

'Today I washed my shirt with my washboard abs. I didn't even have to take it off, I just poured water on the stain and scrubbed it on my abs.' (My little brother)

'I'm in his nigger crew' (my little brother in response to my statement that he was in my 'digger crew')

'My knee hurts' (Jeff Merat after grinding a lunch table for an hour instead of sitting in the ski patrol shack for his torm mcl and acl which he got earlier that day.)

'I'm not asking for any help, just maybe for you to get off your ass.'(my dad)
 
^^ yea the ex knew that she was with another girl so he deserved to get beat. And didn't your mom ever tell you not to hit a girl?

And yes, it was a steel spatula. He was cut pretty good.

______________________

Screw this I'm going skiing
 
oh man if i ever caught my gf making out with another guy id fucken show him no remorse whatsoever. id beat him till he was snoring and blood would be pouring from his eyes. then id slap my gf around
 
Big question, why was there a spatula in this guys car? I guess if your into kinky untensel sex its ok, but a spatula?

And that guy got owned.
 
Funny, yet stupid, beating off someone for something like this can get you in jail pretty quickIt might felt good for the moment but it is still stupid. I have no clue about what I would do in this situation.

I guess tehre was a huge lack of communication from both the girl and the dude
 
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