i've had to take care of many a drunk roommate/friends at school...
my first weekend freshman year i ended up taking care of a girl i barely knew at the time (who's now one of my best friends), she could barely walk back to our dorm after puking/passing out in the bathroom of an upperclassmen's apartment. that ruled.
other fabulous nights have been spent taking care of one of my roomies last year. she was a wicked lightweight (considering her size) for some reason and ALWAYS got completely hammered. so one night i finally got my thinking cap on and decided to document the experience...
so on said night, we return from a lame frat party with my super wasted roomie who practically barfs in the taxi (which i swear was being driven by fat joe, but that's another story). we get out of the taxi in front of my dorm and my roomie proceeds to spew ALL OVER the resident director's parking spot and pass out in some wood chips. apparently someone in the dorm saw this and called campus security, they arrive and ask if there's a problem, one of the other girls blames it on a group of guys walking across the street and her trick works. blahblahblah we get my roomie back to our room on the 3rd floor and sit her in a chair, barf bucket in arms. this is when i pull my camera out and start taking some super flattering pictures and videos.
there are a few of us in the room at this point, i leave for a minute and come back to find my BARFING roommate being made out with by some random dude. she'd passed out in her chair, head hanging backwards, mouth open and this dude is like, sucking her face. EWWWW., so i yell at the kid to get the fuck out and that he's disgusting. after a bit, my roomie starts messing around on her computer, managing to knock a bottle of water over on her desk which i clean up with her hand towel. when she decides she's ready to go to bed, i start helping her with her contacts and stuff and she tells me she needs to wash her face (huh?), so i hand her the wet towel i wiped her desk up with earlier and she "washes" her face and hits the hay for the night.
that was really long and rambling..sorry. i hope someone gets some enjoyment out of it haha....