On the big "M."

Phross

New member
Masturbation. Yup. Pretty sure all of us men have done it at some point in our lives, and if not, then you're fucking lying. So. When did you learn about it, what did your parents say about it, when did you first do it, and where is the weirdest place you've slapped the bishop? Have you ever been caught by someone?
 
My father taught me how. They said do it with father. With father when I was nine. In the front yard. I was caught by my cats.
 
12977306:DeebieSkeebies said:
OP tell us about the time ur mom finished you off

Well.

I suffer from a rare condition where I was born with horribly crippled arms. When I started getting erections, I realized that if I could navigate my gnarly, fucked-up forearm to the tip of my penis, it felt friggin' wonderful. But this took time and effort, because due to my condition, I was horribly uncoordinated.

As I grew older, my coordination worsened. The doctors told me that some day, I might even lose the ability to move my arms because the bone spikes would go straight through the joints. In middle school, people stayed away from me because they thought I was some some sort of freak. I went through serious bouts of depression because everybody kept avoiding me.

One day, it happened. I woke up and found that I couldn't move my arms. This was absolutely fucking DEVESTATING to me. I cried, too ashamed to ask my mom (no dad to speak of; I heard he bailed shortly after I was born) to help me out of bed. Before I lost the use of my arms, I had developed a system of rocking back and forth until I could just barely push myself up with my hideous tree branch arms. Now, I couldn't even do that. An hour later, at like eight o'clock, my mom came in and asked me why I hadn't left for school. Tearfully, I told her. By that point, we were both sobbing our eyes out. She walked out of the room and called the doctor.

At the doctor's office, I was put on several medications. I was basically told up front that I would need someone to help me perform day-to-day tasks like brushing my teeth, getting dressed, and wiping my ass after taking a shit. Unfortunately, my mom was very poor, and couldn't afford to hire someone to take care of me. So, she dropped her job at the strip club (she would soon be let go, anyways, because she had recently turned 40 and her age was starting to show) and we lived off of welfare.

One day, I just decided that I had had enough of it. When my mom came to wake me up for school, I asked her as calmly as I could to kill me. I didn't want to live anymore. She sort of covered her mouth and turned away. I could hear her crying again, and a massive wave of deja vu swept over me. It was the doctor's visit all over again.

About a minute later, she stopped crying, turned around, and smiled. She slowly walked up to the foot of my bed and pulled down my pajamas. She started rubbing the tip of my cock, and waves of ecstasy washed over me.

Needless to say, that was the day I decided that life was worth living after all.
 
12977333:Phross said:
Well.

I suffer from a rare condition where I was born with horribly crippled arms. When I started getting erections, I realized that if I could navigate my gnarly, fucked-up forearm to the tip of my penis, it felt friggin' wonderful. But this took time and effort, because due to my condition, I was horribly uncoordinated.

As I grew older, my coordination worsened. The doctors told me that some day, I might even lose the ability to move my arms because the bone spikes would go straight through the joints. In middle school, people stayed away from me because they thought I was some some sort of freak. I went through serious bouts of depression because everybody kept avoiding me.

One day, it happened. I woke up and found that I couldn't move my arms. This was absolutely fucking DEVESTATING to me. I cried, too ashamed to ask my mom (no dad to speak of; I heard he bailed shortly after I was born) to help me out of bed. Before I lost the use of my arms, I had developed a system of rocking back and forth until I could just barely push myself up with my hideous tree branch arms. Now, I couldn't even do that. An hour later, at like eight o'clock, my mom came in and asked me why I hadn't left for school. Tearfully, I told her. By that point, we were both sobbing our eyes out. She walked out of the room and called the doctor.

At the doctor's office, I was put on several medications. I was basically told up front that I would need someone to help me perform day-to-day tasks like brushing my teeth, getting dressed, and wiping my ass after taking a shit. Unfortunately, my mom was very poor, and couldn't afford to hire someone to take care of me. So, she dropped her job at the strip club (she would soon be let go, anyways, because she had recently turned 40 and her age was starting to show) and we lived off of welfare.

One day, I just decided that I had had enough of it. When my mom came to wake me up for school, I asked her as calmly as I could to kill me. I didn't want to live anymore. She sort of covered her mouth and turned away. I could hear her crying again, and a massive wave of deja vu swept over me. It was the doctor's visit all over again.

About a minute later, she stopped crying, turned around, and smiled. She slowly walked up to the foot of my bed and pulled down my pajamas. She started rubbing the tip of my cock, and waves of ecstasy washed over me.

Needless to say, that was the day I decided that life was worth living after all.

you try to hard.
 
12977263:ElGato said:
What is up with the penis threads lately? Is it summer already?

BAd threads in general. Always bad summer threads but I feel like most have at least one redeeming quality
 
When I first busted a nut I was watching a Beyonce video on MTV cause she was looking fiiiiine so I got a boner and started playing with it because it felt good and then this wave of feeling went through my body and boom...

Haven't stopped since.
 
^ i couldnt even get hard to a beyonce vid if someone had a gun to my head.

Ur taste in homo sapiens is disgusting, although she might not be one
 
12977988:Spss said:
^ i couldnt even get hard to a beyonce vid if someone had a gun to my head.

Ur taste in homo sapiens is disgusting, although she might not be one

seriously? i just assume youre trolling from now.
 
12977988:Spss said:
^ i couldnt even get hard to a beyonce vid if someone had a gun to my head.

Ur taste in homo sapiens is disgusting, although she might not be one

My taste in homo sapiens has nothing to do with me being a prepubescent, horny, ragamuffin home alone watching an attractive women with a nice ass dance around half naked, pack up your shit and go.
 
You guys most likely won't believe this, but I know a kid from my town who, does not talk to girls, does not find them attractive in any way (but is not gay) and has never once masturbated.
 
12978198:mmccarthy14 said:
You guys most likely won't believe this, but I know a kid from my town who, does not talk to girls, does not find them attractive in any way (but is not gay) and has never once masturbated.

thats a cute story but we all know its you, dawg.
 
12977333:Phross said:
Well.

I suffer from a rare condition where I was born with horribly crippled arms. When I started getting erections, I realized that if I could navigate my gnarly, fucked-up forearm to the tip of my penis, it felt friggin' wonderful. But this took time and effort, because due to my condition, I was horribly uncoordinated.

As I grew older, my coordination worsened. The doctors told me that some day, I might even lose the ability to move my arms because the bone spikes would go straight through the joints. In middle school, people stayed away from me because they thought I was some some sort of freak. I went through serious bouts of depression because everybody kept avoiding me.

One day, it happened. I woke up and found that I couldn't move my arms. This was absolutely fucking DEVESTATING to me. I cried, too ashamed to ask my mom (no dad to speak of; I heard he bailed shortly after I was born) to help me out of bed. Before I lost the use of my arms, I had developed a system of rocking back and forth until I could just barely push myself up with my hideous tree branch arms. Now, I couldn't even do that. An hour later, at like eight o'clock, my mom came in and asked me why I hadn't left for school. Tearfully, I told her. By that point, we were both sobbing our eyes out. She walked out of the room and called the doctor.

At the doctor's office, I was put on several medications. I was basically told up front that I would need someone to help me perform day-to-day tasks like brushing my teeth, getting dressed, and wiping my ass after taking a shit. Unfortunately, my mom was very poor, and couldn't afford to hire someone to take care of me. So, she dropped her job at the strip club (she would soon be let go, anyways, because she had recently turned 40 and her age was starting to show) and we lived off of welfare.

One day, I just decided that I had had enough of it. When my mom came to wake me up for school, I asked her as calmly as I could to kill me. I didn't want to live anymore. She sort of covered her mouth and turned away. I could hear her crying again, and a massive wave of deja vu swept over me. It was the doctor's visit all over again.

About a minute later, she stopped crying, turned around, and smiled. She slowly walked up to the foot of my bed and pulled down my pajamas. She started rubbing the tip of my cock, and waves of ecstasy washed over me.

Needless to say, that was the day I decided that life was worth living after all.

is it bad that this gave me a boner? OP hook me up with ur mom.
 
12978339:louie.mirags said:
Your dick must be pretty raw by now

Went in stages, it was raw for a long while, but I dealt with the pain and persevered now it's got the thickest skin and lost all feeling but I still can't stop man. It's a terrible habit I gotta get help.
 
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