Omegle

kool-aid.jpg
 
Someone is having a better night than me!

but its cool it took me an hour to figure out this damn day lights saving time switch in CO.
 
thought i'd share this:

You're now

chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: ey dawg

Stranger:

hey

Stranger: asl?

You: yo i be lookin fo

some white bitches

Stranger: i am a

white girl

You: 18 dude compton chyeaaa!

You:

haha you got dat fly ass pink pusys?

Stranger: dont talk

like that and i will answer that question

You:

Pardon me young lady, but are your labia fairly pink in color? In

addition, I would like to inquire as to whether or not it is

sufficiently tight.

Stranger: hahaha

thank you

Stranger: yes it is pink and yes it is tight

You:

What particular shade would you describe it as?

Stranger:

a rosy pink shade

You: Mmm that does quite please me.

You:

And how tight? How many frog chodes across?

Stranger:

can you rephrase that please so i can understand ;)

You:

If one were to take a frog afflicted by dwarfism and measure the width

of said frog's penis, and divide the width of your orifice by the

aforementioned width, what would the outcome be?

Stranger:

what is a frog

You: Frogs are amphibians in the order Anura

(meaning "tail-less", from Greek an-, without + oura, tail), formerly

referred to as Salientia (Latin salere (salio), "to jump"). Most frogs

are characterized by long hind legs, a short body, webbed digits

(fingers or toes), protruding eyes and the absence of a tail.

Stranger:

then their penises are very tiny and contained within their body ---

making dwarf penises very tiny

Stranger: so i do not

know what the outcome would be

You: Dwarfs of all species

have chodes - penises that are wider around than they are long.

You:

Everybody knows that

You: So it would be wider

across than an average frog penis

Stranger: all i know

is that i am tight enough to make me moan when i am entered

You:

Mmmm, well then I put on my robe and wizard hat......

You:

.....and continue talking like nothing just happened.

You:

You realize that unbeknownst to you, I have entered, and you failed to

notice.

You: My penis is very small, you see.

You:

I begin to cry because I had gotten excited about making you moan.

You:

:'(

Stranger: i still do because you are entering

me nonetheless

You: I get enraged because you are faking,

just like every other woman in my life, pull out, and storm out of the

room.

You: However, I'm back 2 minutes later.

Stranger:

and i am pleasuring myself because i am saddened that you have left me

after you had begun

You: It seems I misplaced my batman mask.

You:

Have you seen it?

Stranger: ? no i have

not ... where do you think it is

You: I have no idea!

You:

Do you think you could be laying on it?

Stranger: i dont

know .... hold on while i get on all fours

You:

Ah! There it is!

You: I slide under to get it, and you fall on

top of me, forcing me into you once again.

Stranger:

Oh! i am sorry! i just couldnt contain myself with you so close

You:

Its quite understandable. Probably a byproduct of the robe and wizard

hat. It makes MAGIC, if you will.

You: I roll you over to

sit on me cowgirl style.

Stranger: thats the

way i like it the best, i get to feel all of you, controlling you

Stranger:

you get to watch as i take off my bra letting my breasts bounce freely

You:

Mmm yeah, you really know how to work it.

You:

WAIT

You: OH MY GOD

You: YOU BROKE THE

MASK!!!

Stranger: where was the mask?? :O

You:

It was under you!

Stranger: but you

were under me!

You: That doesn't matter, and you know why?

Stranger:

why?

You: Because I am the GOD DAMN BATMAN!

Stranger:

but wait i thought you were a wizard

You: Are you questioning

my identity?

Stranger: no no i am just confused

You:

Well then it looks like my spell worked!

You: I

bet you even think we had sex!

Stranger: wow really

we didnt?? oh i am so confused! please help me

Stranger:

........

You: ....

Stranger: you arent

helping

You: Think about it.

You:

Search within yourself.

Stranger: nope im

still confused

You: Are you searching?

Stranger:

for you? or for an understanding within side me

You:

Ah! So I see you've discovered I've re-entered you!

Stranger:

for real this time? no wizard crap??

You: What is reality?

Stranger:

you inside me for real

You: Yes, can't you feel

my frog chode squirming around?

Stranger: yes i can,

barely but this time you are on top --- so i cant control the sensation

that i need the most from you

You: K, let's flip on

three

You: 1

You: ...

You:

Are you gonna count with me or what?

Stranger: 2

Stranger:

......

You: 3!

You: Success!

Stranger:

AHHH!

You: What's wrong?

Stranger:

ohhh thats so much better i can feel you so much better now

You:

Does something feel weird?

Stranger: no, should

something

You: Do you have a pet snake?

You:

FUCK

You: SHIT

You: Something is around

my ankle

You: OH GOD

You: Help me!

Stranger:

no silly i moved to tie you to the bed posts

You:

Oh ok.

You: Silly girl, you can't tie up a wizard!

You:

I have escaped and am now entering you from the rear, forcefully.

You:

I hurry up and finish, busting between your eyes.

Stranger:

am i on all fours now ... and how am i busting

You:

What are you doing on all fours?

You: I already

finished....

Stranger: i mean before when you were treating

me from behind

You: Too late for that.

You:

Sorry!

You: I have to go

You:

Do you know why?

Stranger: why

Stranger:

???

You: I think you know why

Stranger:

apparently i dont

You: Well, I'll give you a hint: the mask

store closes in 5 minutes

Stranger: you have to

go buy a new one because i broke the other one

Stranger:

???

You: No, you have to buy me a new one. I have

to go save Gotham.

You have disconnected.

 
You: duh hello

Stranger: m19

You: you honestly sit here on the computer hoping a girl will come along and cyber with you

Stranger: ok

You: why don't you get your fat ass outt of your rolly chair

You: and go introduce yourself to a femal

You: e

You: they aren't that scary i promise

Stranger: that's not a proso $what's the solution

You: that way eventually by a stroke of luck from zeus himself you might actually have real sex instead of pretending your hand is the inside of a warm vagina

Stranger: ok

Stranger: can u send me ur msn

Stranger: or count facebook

You: go young padawon

You: flee into the jungles of albatros

You: find a fair dame, and obliterate that pussy

Stranger: so

You: don't sell yourself short with a 3 or a 4

Stranger: end

You: try and find some 5 or 6's

You: maybe beat with a 3 to start

You: get your sea legs under you

Stranger: yesd i can do 8 pass

You: no what you can't do is speak english

You: disconnect

You: me

You: now

Stranger: no

Stranger: i liike to practise with u

Stranger: bec i need some girl

You: you speaka duh CHIneeeese

Stranger: to see my biggggggggggggg

Stranger: dick

You: ok first of all if you had a big dick you'd be using it

You: sooooo don't pull that bull shit

Stranger: so

You: you have a tiny dick and the sooner you accept that the quicker your gonna be allowed to smash some jay

Stranger: u will send me ur msn $

Stranger: or iwill

Stranger: off

Stranger: disconnet
 
holy shit hahahhaha

Stranger: and do u know dat if da earth was 1 mile closer to da sun we wud be burned, and if 1 mile away, e wud have froze to death

Stranger: so wat r da chances dat it was perfectly lined

You: you say "god" did that

You: well im pretty sure it has something to do with gravity...........

Stranger: gravity is due to earth dumbass

You: ...

You: are you 9?
 
You: yo

Stranger: Hi Im mike 20 from Amsterdam, Are you a horny girl with a webcam? (18+ ofc)

You: yea dude

You: i got 3 webcams so you can see mad angles

You: when i put the food processor in my ass

Your conversational partner has disconnected.
 
this is a huge kill but...

Connecting to server...

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: are you normal?

Stranger: i'm a dude and i don't wana cyber

Stranger: i like to think im normal

You: PUT YOUR HANDS UP NOW

Stranger: wtf

Stranger: no, u can't make me!

You: PUT THEM WHERE I CAN SEE THEM

You: WHATS THAT I SMELL

Stranger: i'm not going without a fight!!

You: IS THAT MARIJUANA

You: GET OUT OF THE CAR RIGHT NOW

Stranger: NO, I FOUND THOSE ELEPHANTS! THEIR MINE!!

Stranger: I FOUND THEM FAIR AND SQUARE

You: OMG

You: ARE YOU HALLUCINATING

You: STEP OUT OF THE CAR RIGHT NOW

Stranger: NO YOU ARE

Stranger: NO IT'S MY CAR, I ALSO FOUND IT FAIR AND SQUARE

You: THATS IT, YOUR UNDER ARREST

Stranger: NO, YOU'RE UNDER ARREST

You: You cant arrest me im the police officer

Stranger: lies!

You: put your hands behind your back

You: you giong downtown buddy

Stranger: but then i coudln't type

Stranger: and i hate doing downtown

Stranger: i always get lost

You: well you wont get lost in prison

Stranger: can my elephants come with?..

You: OH IM SURE YOU WILL SEE A LOT OF ELEPHANTS IN PRISON

Stranger: really? =D

Stranger: ok

You: EXCEPT THESE ELEPHANT COME OUT OF BIG BLACK MALES PANTS

Stranger: i.. NO I DON'T WANNA GO

You: DONT MAKE ME USE MY TAZER

You: 5

You: 4

You: 3

Stranger: DON'T MAKE ME USE MY LAZOR

Stranger: 1!

You: OH FUCK YOU HAVE A LAZER

Stranger: I USED MINE FIRST!

You: SHFAHSKJLDFHL;AKDSJFHA\

You: AHAHHAAHAHAH

You: AHHHHHH

You: STOP

You: STOP

Stranger: *SAFETY LOCK WAS ON*...

Stranger: u must've taser'd urself

Stranger: u should be more careful

You: your right i should

You: not to fast bucko

You: TASER

You: ZZZ

ZZZ

You: zz

You: ZZZ

Stranger: and give me back my fucking elephants asshole!

You: Z

You: Z

You: ZZZZZZ

Stranger: ...i want a taser too... that's not fair

You: well you cant have one

Stranger: ...

Stranger: ELEPHANTS!! NOW!! ATTACKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!

You: HAHAHHH

You: AHHHH

You: AHHH

You: IM BEING TRAMPLED

You: HELP

You: HELP

You: no

You: no

You: not the tusks

Stranger: tase that!

You: ahhh

You: t h iis is m y last cha nce

Stranger: *safety lock on tusks were on*...

You: wtf

Stranger: u must've impaled yourself... you should be more careful...

You: there cant be a safety lock on tusks

Stranger: yes there can!

Stranger: theyre my fucking elephants!

You: "takes out kangaroo"

You: ATACKKKK

Stranger: o fuck

Stranger: *elephants and kangaroos start doing it*

Stranger: ...uhhhh......

You: WTF DUDE

You: THATS JUST WRONG

Stranger: hey ur the one that took the kangaroos out...

Stranger: perv..

Stranger: no one's asking you to watch!

You: "brakes them up"

You: "go back home joey"

Stranger: jealous?...

Stranger: i am =(..

Stranger: i mean... what?

You: dude cmon

Stranger: *uses lazor on everyone and everything*

Stranger: *including self*

You: nooooooo

Stranger: my ex told me "no means harder"

Stranger: ..she was a freak

You: superfreak

You: superfreak

You: shes superfreaky

Stranger: superfreakayyyy yeahhhhhh

Stranger: *high five*

You: "VIRTUAL HIGH FAVE TAKEN"

Stranger: i take flinstones vitamins and act like i'm high...

You: mehhhhhh

You: so looks like its about time i arrested you

You: "cuffs go on"

You: cant do shit now suckaaa

Stranger: *lazors cuffs*

Stranger: *unlocks safety locks on elephant tusks*...

Stranger: ...ur fucked now!! =D

You: oh no

You: not the tusks

Stranger: *elephants start doing it with kangaroos again*

Stranger: ...huh.........

You: dude wtf lorenzo

You: thats just too far

You: "i like to use real names when im made"

You: mnehhhh

You: mad*

You: ok

Stranger: hahaha.. lorenzo

You: ur in the prison cell

Stranger: that's a funny name

Stranger: aw wtf how'd we get here?

You: longggggg night

Stranger: i'd like the schematics to your teleportation device...

Stranger: mine doesn't function correctly...

Stranger: works almost as good as my time machine

Stranger: but it also is limited

You: ok too far

Stranger: my time machine can only work in one direction.. forward.. at a normal speed of time...

Stranger: I DON'T SEE YOUR TIME MACHINE WORKING ANY BETTER!

You: sooo

You: one last thing

You: YOUR ARRESTTED

You: HAVE FUN IN JAIL

You: BITCH

Stranger: ...cops are dicks..

Stranger: *elephants start doing it with kangaroos*....

Your conversational partner has disconnected.
 
Got bored tongiht so I hopped on Omegle for some entertainment. these are what I came up with.

You: oh hello?

Stranger: female?

You: oh yeahhh

Stranger: okkkk

You: except I got twins ready to pop so not only is my stomach and uterus huge, my vagina is swollen as well

Stranger: are you female?

You: nope a male with twins a uterus and a vagina.....birth defect i guess

Stranger: ???????

Stranger: yes-no

Stranger: ??????

You: well the doctor said it was up to me to decide

Stranger: byeeeeeee

You: i said female. but I do have a small penis in addition to my clitorus

Stranger: what is your name

You: laquanda Mackey

Stranger: my name is mehmet

Stranger: from?

You: north ireland

Stranger: okk

You: you?

Stranger: have old are you

Stranger: turkeyy

Stranger: ??????

You: oh sick

You: have old are you. I'm sorry I don't speak turkey dinner

Stranger: okkkkkkkkk

Stranger: 16

Stranger: you

You: 28 and three quarters

Stranger: ok

Stranger: msn?

You: seriously bro? I told you I'm pregnant have a small dick and swollen vagina

You: and your still tryin to get with this

You: I"m not even messing with you anymore you need help.

Stranger: I m dick

You: you are dick?

You: Like Munching Dick?

You: is that what that stands for?

You: this is good. Add this to your list of problems for the therapist

Stranger: oh yeaa

You: you hit on pregnant he shes and like munching dick

Stranger: you like dick?

You: no

You: but I'd like to suggest a few help lines for you

Stranger: fuck you

You: CRAM THAT IN YOUR CRAM HOLE BITCHHHHHHHHHHHH!

New: tried just fuckin with the cyber people from the begining apparently I got the letters wrong. hahahaha

Stranger: hey

Stranger: asl?

You: animal-giraffe Sign-yield sign Lactose and tolerant- yes

You: you ?

Stranger: signed off.

and finally.

Stranger: hi

You: oh whatup

Stranger: asl?

You: animal- giraffe salminilla- no Laughing-yes

You: you?

Stranger: tw

You: tw?

Stranger: Taiwan

You: well its not gonna be very easy to cyber when you speak taiwanese now is it

You: ill do my best to translate what i know

Stranger: ok

You: LINGNOW DINGHOW NASINGPOW

Stranger: ???????

You: Lownahinghowa shi shani teh tasiowe

You: that means I have a tiny dick right?

Stranger: ?

You: Hito wo yume to ya omoishiruramu; sumi suteshi,sono wa kochou no yadori nite

You: and that means my balls are bigger than a elephants tusks

You: tell me if I'm wrong

Stranger: no

You: ok perfect

Stranger: ya

You: so far we have "i have a small dick, but my balls are long pointy and made of ivory"

You: you turned on yet? cause I'm about ready to.....oops....uh....

You: well this is embarrassing....

You: ughhhh

Stranger: ha...

You: thanks for everything ill let myself out.

You: ill leave my number on the table?

Stranger: ok

You: k call me sooon.

 


You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label 'Stranger:'. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.

Stranger: hey

Stranger: asl?

You: NEVER!

Stranger: do me a favor i wanna see if this free stuff works so click on this linkhttp://www.givemepoints.net/?i=309192

Stranger: im a horny female 2

You: No Thanks

You: Im Good

You: Bitch

Stranger: jj

Stranger: do it daddy

Stranger: please.. wanna see a pic

You: JAHH

Stranger: ok but u have to click on the link.. then i'll let u get me wet:)

Stranger: and i'll send u a pic

You: zomg

You: tankz

Stranger: i would slurp on your penis while licking the hole and fingering u

You: Woah woah woah 3rd date!

Stranger: ooo is that ok with you daddy

You: I am not nor have I ever been your father

Stranger: ok.. baby

Stranger: i just want to please you

You: Wanna know how you can please me?

Stranger: yeah

You: Do you really wanna know

Stranger: yeah heheh :)

You: I

You: am

You: going

You: to

You: tell

You: you

You: nows

Stranger: ok

You: show

You: me

You: how to

You: get to

You: CHADS GAP FROM THE BOTTOM OF ALTA

Stranger: oh what?? well click on the link baby

Stranger: :)

You: thats no link

Stranger: well copy and paste

You: double u tee eff

Stranger: please

You: plocks

You: dont know what to say to that, do you?

Stranger: do it for me

You: do what?

Stranger:http://www.givemepoints.net/?i=309192

Stranger: i'll send u a pic

You: I dont need pics!

Stranger: the site tells me after u click

You: MY HARDRIVE IS FULL!

You: thats some sweet technology

Stranger: so.... its just a site.. just click on it let it load and exit out

Stranger: ):

You: you should

You: turn that frown

You: FUCKING UPSIDE DOWN

You: :)

Stranger: i will if u click on it

Stranger: if u do it

You: Yeah?

Stranger: well since u won't click on it bye!

You: NO!

Stranger: ):

You: hold on!

You: please wait

You: dont go

Stranger: ok

You: we havnt finished desert

You: come back inside

Stranger: wow! bye unless u click on it

Stranger: 5

Stranger: 4

Stranger: 3

Stranger: 2

You: grap a plate of cake and relax

Stranger: 1

Stranger: ...

You: 0

You: ?

Stranger: 0....

 
Stranger: head

You: the ski company?

You: NEWCHOOLERS?

Stranger: summerfag?

You: nsg?

You: summer nsg = shitbunch?

Stranger: nsg? nonsolar glue?

You: non-ski gabber?

Stranger: ski fag?

You: lol ur the fag

Stranger: oh really?

You: yep

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

 
ou: Newschoolers?Stranger: what

You: skiing?

Stranger: wait

Stranger: no

Stranger: i can't

You: why cant i hold all of these limes?

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

 
You: Newschoolers?

Stranger: hola

Stranger: como estas

Stranger: no hablo ingles

You: hola

Stranger: tu hablas espanol

Stranger: >

You: si

Stranger: lol really?

Stranger: where you from?

You: no hables ingles sinor

You: donde vives tu?

Stranger: not sinor .......senor

You: lo siento

Stranger: ny

You: bien

Stranger: familiy is from colombia though

Stranger: you?

You: ny estaba le casa de mi abuela, nani

Stranger: en la .....not ......le

Stranger: ahh nice they city or what

You: shut up you fag

Stranger: the*

Stranger: fuck you bitch

Stranger: suck my cock

Stranger: nigga

You: kay

Stranger: gorrial

 
Stranger: horny

You: Newschoolers?

Stranger: what

Stranger: sorry not horny

Stranger: and 16fusa

You: Tomny Wallisches

Stranger: to slow

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

 
these are so fun:

You: Newschoolers?

Stranger: old school only

disconnected

______________________

You: Newschoolers?

Stranger: ? yes

You: yes?

You: yay?

Stranger: i dunno..

Stranger: what are newschoolers?

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

_________________________

You: newschoolers?

Stranger: hey

Stranger: ?

You: have you ever heard of ECB?

You: the one the only?

You: famous cousin fucker?

You: inb4?

You: 1337?

You: no?

You: coool

You: fuck u too

You have disconnected.

__________________________

You: newschoolers?

Stranger: what?

You: have u heard of ECB?

Stranger: Wisconsin Educational Communications Board

You: no

You: Every cousin beware

You: he fucked his cousin

You: and hes a skier

You: lol

You: fuck u too

Stranger: i dont get it

You: its ok

You: you fucking are 2" tall

You: most people that size dont get it

You have disconnected.

_____________________________

lol

 
Stranger: please be a troll

You: Do you know how to get to chad's gap from the bottom of alta?

Stranger: YES!!!!!

You: no way!!!

You: NEwschoolers

You: ??

Stranger: nah man. i dont roll with them

Stranger: dude

Stranger: you can't just go and hit chads

You: damn

You: dude do you ski?

Stranger: of course man lol

You: shit

You: do you know what ns even is?

Stranger: im on that shit like everyday man -__- haha

You: seriously?

You: whats ur username man?

Stranger: yea i post so damn much

You: 1337 lol

You: jamie?

Stranger: are you serious?! so ur on there too! this is too fuckin good to be true :DDD

You: yes im fucking serious

You: this is FerrisBueller

Stranger: i need to copy ur username before something happens and fucks up this chat

You: k

You: did u come here from the omegle thread?

Stranger: alright i;ll give u mine

disconnect

WTF?

 
this was amazinggggg
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label 'Stranger:'. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.You: why is there a large indian population tonight?Stranger: oh my gosh i thought i was the only one who noticedYou: noYou: they are flooding our internets and we must revoltYou: don't call customer service. ever againStranger: how do we stop them?You: dirty bombs. tag body spray attached to m-80sYou: indians hate tag body sprayStranger: hahahahahahahahahahahaStranger: i love youYou: well then.Stranger: marry me?You: i didnt want to be the one to propose but YESYou: together we will be a married indian attacking forceStranger: why didnt you want to propose? you don't love me enough?You: i love you with all the oceans water, all the earths crust, all the worlds food supply for starving african children yet i lack the upfront nessStranger: well if you ask me that was pretty upfrontYou: i desire your companionship in the deepest, your warmth in the bedroom, and your smile in the morningStranger: i'm blushing!You: don't be, this is my typical love, after a long. hard, sweaty night of banging the headboard agains the walls you shall see the romatic meStranger: so it was good then?You: your love never goes bad darlingStranger: i'm speechlessYou: well you will be even more speechless when you perform oral pleasure tonight =)Stranger: i don't know, what are you going to do for me?You: everything your young heart desire loveStranger: wait just a minuteYou: i'd wait a lifetime for youStranger: what am i performing oral on, just to be clearYou: what do you prefer to perform oral on?Stranger: well if you can make it taste like grape, i probably wouldn't mindYou: grape cocksicle it isStranger: so youll pick up the condoms?You: picked them up, i had them a hour before i meet you loveYou: to lose you would be to lose everything i've ever desiredStranger: does that mean you have cherry also?You: fruitful nectar flavorsYou: all for your pleasureStranger: where have you been all my lifeYou: down the streetYou: you just haven't let your legs spread so i can spread my butterStranger: does this mean you think i'm a womanYou: theres ways to perform anal sex for men and womenStranger: well then why spread my legs, we could always do doggy styleYou: because i'm after the whispering eyeStranger: but anal is painful, you would want to put me through that?You: only if you want to maintain your vagina virginity loveStranger: oh who cares about that, if its to the one i love i will gladly lose itYou: alright baby girl, lets take this to the next level ;)You: are you leaving me?Stranger: never!You: good, because i'd have to kidnap you to my private islandYou: where international laws do not applyStranger: can we go there anyways?You: sure thing, as soon as i receive my passports and the 144 count condom shipmentStranger: 144?!You: yes, that should last us a week....Stranger: are you only using me for that?!You: well i mean we can raw dog your fresh pink if you wanna take the wild rideStranger: you dont even love me do youYou: i love you with all my hearts desires, you're the sparkle in my eye, the reason i wake up in the morning, without you my life would be bleak and darkStranger: then go without having sex with me for a weekStranger: prove your loveYou: it will be a hard task, yet i would go to the ends of the globe you my loveYou: but all i ask is to see your magnificent face and enchanted smile once moreStranger: you can see it whenever, we just can't have sexYou: anything you ask dearYou: now may i glance upon your perfect selfStranger: oh what the hellStranger: lets do it at least twice in everyroom in the houseYou: alrighttttt, 3 times? now thats a challengeStranger: how about 5?You: if you can handle it.Stranger: can you?You: ofcourse, my magnificent man meat shall stand strong like the uhmerican flagYour conversational partner has disconnected.
 
You: the fuck

Stranger: wutt ?

You: these goombas only go away if youi jump on their heads

Stranger: then jump on their heads !

You: isn't there another way?!

Stranger: hmmmm pull out a machine gun ?

You: I'm too young to buy one

Stranger: then idk lol

Stranger: steal one ?

Stranger: buy one illeagally ?

You: hmm, but I'd be stealing from someone with a machine gun wouldn't I get shot

Stranger: truuee

You: and I don't wanna break the law

Stranger: ohh well mst people break the law nyways

Stranger: just buy a guy illeagally lmao

You: buy a guy who will buy me a gun

You: that might work

Stranger: or pay a guy to get u a gun instead of buying him

You: but if he's my slave I'll be sure I'm not getting ripped off

Stranger: slaves r insanely illeagal and rong

You: not if you pay for them

You: but where would a buy a guy who isn't a prostitute?

Stranger: craigslist ? hmmm idk

You: isn't everyone there a prostitute or a serial killer?

Stranger: yaaa pretty much lmao

You: hmm

You: wow were dumbasses

You: mexico

You: !

Stranger: thats so racist !

You: oh yeah, they'll prolly buy me shitty guns

Stranger: dont b so racist !

You: but I could get a chupacabra to steal me a gun

You: Or I guess I could buy a woman to make me a sandwich to trade for a gun, do you think that would work?

Stranger: im a girl nd my bfs latino ur starting to piss me off

You: o shit

Stranger: yaa...

You: I'm just playin round on teh interwebz

I respect women and races and sexuality in real life

Stranger: good u better

You: so back to my goomba killing problem

You: how can I kill them without jumping on em

Stranger: machine gun kid

You: where do I purchase a machine gun wielding kid?

Stranger: noooo clue

You: ebay?

Stranger: suuuree why not ?

You: actually I think I have a better solution

You: do u know where to buy shrooms?

You: the kind that make you bigger and throw fire

You: couple a those would prolly do it

Stranger: hmmm ill ask my bf who his dealer is ?

You: k

You: but I don't want no mexican shit

Stranger: uhmmm stop being so fucking racist kid grow up grow a pair nd get over being so fucking shallow and predjudice

 
Stranger: MOM!?You: SON?Stranger: ITS YOUStranger: ITS REALLY YOUYou: OMG I THOUGHT I"D NEVER SEE YOU AGAIN!!!Stranger: I THOUGHT THE SAME!Stranger: BUT WE ARE REUNITEDStranger: AND IT FEELS SO GOODYou: I WANT TO APOLOGIZE NOW FOR LETTING DAD RAPE YOU IN THE ASS AS A CHILD
Stranger: I FORGIVE YOU! IT HAS MADE ME THE MAN I AM TODAY!You: SON, I HAVE SOMETHING TO TELL YOUStranger: A gay man living in Los Angeles..Stranger: ...Do I want to hear this?You: HOLY SHIT I WAS JUST ABOUT TO TELL YOU THAT I AM A LESBIAN.Stranger: OH MY GODYou: AT 60 YEARS OLD I DECIDED I LIKE SMELLY VAGINASStranger: I GUESS GENETICS OUR STRONGYou: YES THEY ARE. GOD HAS BLESSED THIS FAMILY WITH A STRONG DESIRE FOR HUMANS OF THE SAME SEXStranger: ALLELUJAHYou: WHEN YOU GET TO HEAVEN I WANT YOU TO GIVE IT TO GOD IN THE ASS AS MY WAY OF SAYING THANKS!Stranger: I WILL... But only if you give me my lipstick backYou: Honey I used that up a while ago as lube for my dildo. Can you forgive me?Stranger: ...Mom..Stranger: What about my high heels? Ramming them up pussy?You: Ahhh I had to sell those to pay for your fathers bail. He raped little boys at confessional.Stranger: ......................God will have him
 
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