Official joke thread

[elcheapo]

I don't drink, i don't smoke, I don't swear

God dammit, I left my cigarettes at the bar

 

[Obama_care]

I don't drink, i don't smoke, I don't swear

God dammit, I left my cigarettes at the bar

Funniest joke on the thread

 

[r00kie]

What do a hamster and a chipmunk have in common?

Both are totally harmless till you put em in your mouth and light them on fire.

 

[ASSholebomber22]

Wanna know the difference between jam and jelly?

 

[zues]

nice shoes wanna fuck?!

 

[dognuts]

what do u call a icicle that takes a lot of quizzes

a testicle

 

[BrandoComando]

What is the difference between babies and bowling balls?

You can't load bowling balls into a truck with a pitchfork

 

[elcheapo]

Funny as hell

what do u call a icicle that takes a lot of quizzes

a testicle

What is the difference between babies and bowling balls?

You can't load bowling balls into a truck with a pitchfork

Booooooo

 

[BrandoComando]

Funny as hell

Booooooo

okay okay lemme try another one

Did you hear about the Italian Chef?

He pasta-way

 

[Jems]

newschoolers

 

[Butterytips69]

How is Coors Light like sex in a canoe?

They're both fucking close to water

 

[WoFlowz]

Salomon park skis

 

[dolanslebensraum]

What do a hamster and a chipmunk have in common?

Both are totally harmless till you put em in your mouth and light them on fire.

 

[dolanslebensraum]

 

[WoFlowz]

Dolans felt the touch of a woman other than his mother

 

[elcheapo]

Broke up with my girlfriend but

She said we can still be cousins

 

[zues]

my sister is pregnant. I'm going to be a dad!

 

[piss.boy]

@compjocks

 

[zues]

my life is a joke and it's not funny at all

 

[elcheapo]

What's the cheapest type of meat

Deer balls, their under a buck

 

[PissWizard69]

Why do scuba divers roll backwards out of a boat?

if they rolled forwards they would just roll back into the boat

 

[PissWizard69]

Whats red and bad for your teeth?

a brick

 

[dognuts]

as a scuba diver, i cringed much at this

Why do scuba divers roll backwards out of a boat?

if they rolled forwards they would just roll back into the boat

 

[Charlie_Kelly]

How do you get a bunch of dead babies out of a blender?

Tortilla chips.

 

[elcheapo]

How do you get a bunch of dead babies out of a blender?

Tortilla chips.

I don't get it

 

[elcheapo]

In laboratory tests, 4 stroke smoke causes cancer in mice

2 stroke smoke makes mice run faster

 

[zues]

 

[Thegenericskier]

how much does it cost to roof a house?

Nothing, its on the house