NS CONFESSIONS

So like most high school boys I decided to go crazy my senior year. So im seeing this girl at the time and everything was going really well, I was getting head every time i saw her(yea she was saving herself then..now shes a whore lol). Anyways she decides shes too tired to head out to this kids party goin on, which is a really good thing because I got mad drunk and fooled around with this girl that my girlfriend hated. So no big deal, I felt like an ass but nobody would ever find out..right. So now 2 weeks later, my girlfriend gets word of the incident of course and we take a little break from seein each other. So no I have two weeks to do whatever, (flashback two years:I hook up with this girl and she stalks me ..and still is to this day) Now I see my stalker at another party so what does my drunk mind say.."easy pussy hell yea" so I have a really good night lol. Now that im a freshman in college..all 3 of these girls are best friends and tell every girl in mankind that i know about everything..I havent gotten kissed in six months
 
ha jk about the last part i got some last night, point is to all you young NS dont fuck with girls they will get ya backand yes they do tell girls to avoid me and it sucks though
 
Don't fuck with girls? So fuck guys instead is what you are saying? Your logic might be a tad off, but respectable.

 
so i was seeing a movie with some of my buddies and right before the movie we got mexican food, so i really had to shit. so about halfway through the movie i went to the bathroom literally about to shit my pants and all the fucking stalls were full. so i could not hold and decided to shit in the urinal. anyway, when i was washing my hands a guy came in to take a piss at the urinal i shat in and threw up instantly. proudest moment of my life haha
 
started a rummer back in highschool i think freshman yea that a girl i was feeling wore ass-pads, years later people still call her out on it, and continued to call her ass-pad...still doesnt know it was me
 
when you shit, you turn around and face the tank instead. because ac slater used to always sit like that in saved by the bell
 
I cant believe i never thought of this. That would making surfing newschoolers while shitting with a laptop so much easier, just put it on the tank. Yes!
 
we developed a technique called the bear when tp had ran out, newspapers weren't around (you do however get the ink on your ass from this) and baby whipes were lacking.
the basics are you shit, you jump in the shower, you use your hand as toilet paper. rinse and repeat.
at a rugby club social (think american jock fest) we have these buckets called bunder bins about the size of a wheelie bin. there were designated for being sick in and there were about 6 of then usually.
so through months of heavy uni drinking we had found out that chewing gum helps you not chunder (good tip there) so after seeing off my god knows what number pint of snakebite (beer, cider, and squash) i was being sick when i saw my chewing gum fall out of my mouth and into a full bunder bin. in my drunken state i decided that it was worth rescuing so i delved my hand into the bid, felt around a bit, recovered my chewing gum and chucked in straight in my mouth = ) on this momentous night (it was a special social) i had also found the idea of walking to the toilet too arduous so i consiously stood there and pissed myself. i think i hooked up with a girl that night too.
along the same lines i was on a stool seeing off a jug (4 pints) where to rule is if you are sick someone will catch you sick in a pint glass and give you to option of wearing it or drinking it. i chose the later.
one more bro story. i had gone back to this girls place in halls and after doing the dirty she left the room for a reason i can't remember. i really needed a piss and unwilling to walk around a strange place naked i decided to piss down the side of her bed. after this i thought it was time to leave before she returned so as it was cold out i also stole her bed sheets to wrap up in.
bring on the bro hate.
 
dudddeee me 2 she more or less threw her self on me... she wasnt a wale or anything just a little pudge. whatever it was at some club and i was blacked out pouring tequila in peoples mouth and some how i ended up with some chick making out with me. lol
 
One day I decided to go to Moe's for lunch and get a nice burrito. I also ate queso there too. I got home a few hours later and had to pee. I was standing up while peeing and sometimes you know how you have to fart while pissing? Well I had to so I farted. The fart smelt like total ass btw. I soon realized that I had to poop while I was wizzing. So once I finished pissing, I sat down to take a dump. When I sat down I couldn't help but notice the pile of poop that was on the floor. Yep... I shit on the floor.
 
she's a cute girl but her tanning just destroys her
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Yeah, I have fallen asleep on lawn chairs and stuff like that before, but I always had sunscreen on like that. But I'm a guy, so I don't tan really. It's fine to tan a bit though, but to an extent.
 
I was exaggerating a bit. But if I'm out in the sun, I'm wearing sunscreen. I feel like you tan faster with sunscreen because you don't go turning red.
 
Haha alright. Well I get pretty pale in the winter, and then never get burnt in the summer, but I still get pretty tan when summer's over. So do what you want, I don't like getting burnt though.
 
You don't have to get burnt to get tan. That's the most retarded thing I have ever heard. Just because sunburns eventually turns to tan doesn't mean its necessary.
 
from experience, i live in florida 3/4 seasons, consensus is the fastest way to get tan is to get burnt then 4 days or so later you are tan, or take 2-3 weeks of suntan lotion and 5 days a week of tanning to get to the same point
 
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