NS CONFESSIONS

Yea, we told him to go to the doctor, but he says its probably natural. Now everytime he's getting a girl at a party, I just say, "Hey, are you still cummin' blood?" Works every time
 
So heres my confession.

Last weekend after feeling rather alone lately, I smoked a lot too much and really let my standards fly out the window. The chick I hooked up with wasn't quite as bad as a "solid 7" but had I been thinking clearly this never would have happened. Long story short we hooked up on the hood of her car, before she finished with her mouth while I smoked a cigarette.
 
Posting pics of said incident would get me banned, and in all honestly I'm just trying to imagine that it isn't legit, so that I don't hate myself forever.
 
yea I hooked up with like a 2 at school when I was super drunk. Like a legit 2.

This girl was terrible....acne....5 feet tall...glasses...oily hair.....The worst part is, I found out that I was her rebound because her bf had broken up with her earlier in the day. Here's the kicker-he broke up with her because she had gotten an abortion that morning.

So here's my second confession-I was the rebound for a legit 2 who had a baby aborted that morning.

fml.
 
mosthilariousanimalemotions41.jpg
 
Ok this one may be a little gross.

For some reason I have a lot of ass hair and shit occaisionally gets stuck on it. It dries up, hurts like hell to pull off, stinks and is irritating. So one night I took some scissors to it with great disgust and difficulty, wiped it a little but didn't wash them (and they're kitchen scissors so they're used everyday).
 
haha this one time i was with all my buddies at bansia. and we finished eating and go skate outside. after ten or so minutes of skating one of friends goes guys i just shit myslf! we all thought that he was joking. but then we walks and a little tiny shit runs out of his leg. so we all puke everywhere! he then goes into the mcdonalds, takes his pants and boxers off and takes a shower in the sink! some random guy walks in and asks what the hell hes doing when he explains the situtauion. after that we all had a long talk with the manager and now we cant go back to that mcdonalds for 3 months.......
 
haha this one time i was with all my buddies at bansia. and we finished eating and go skate outside. after ten or so minutes of skating one of friends goes guys i just shit myslf! we all thought that he was joking. but then we walks and a little tiny shit runs out of his leg. so we all puke everywhere! he then goes into the mcdonalds, takes his pants and boxers off and takes a shower in the sink! some random guy walks in and asks what the hell hes doing when he explains the situtauion. after that we all had a long talk with the manager and now we cant go back to that mcdonalds for 3 months.......
 
so i was really little and just started learning how to use the "big boy potty". i could just barely lift my junk over the rim of the toilet to take a piss. so one day im taking a piss, using two hands and with my pants and underwear pulled completely down like all little kids do, and while im in the middle of it the toilet seat and the cover come crashing down and destroy my balls. apparently i didnt put the toilet seat and lid completely up. i screamed and screamed and screamed until my mom came rushing in and was like HOLY SHIT WHAT DID U DO! once she realized i had only smashed my nuts in the toilet and i wasnt dead she was relieved.
 
So this one time when I was little, probably around 3, and somewhat new to the whole being potty trained thing. And keep in mind that Toy Story 1 had just came out around this time and Buzz Lightyear was my hero basically. So I had to take a shit, so I go do my business and what not, I go to flush and when I did, I screamed "To Infinity and Beyond!" My mom heard it and everything and she reminds me of this in front of everybody all the time to piss me off.
 
well i was at this one chicks house on Halloween and i had to take the biggest shit ever. so i do. i notice she didn't have a plunger after i was done filling up the toilet. so i look at the big huge massive deuce i drooped and i flush... i crossed my fingers,,, nothing happened. i was thinking damn it clogged. i was to embarrassed to ask her for a plunger so at the time all i could think of is use my hand. and that my fellow newschoolers was my confession
 
When I was in kindergarten. I peed my pants in my little plastic chair at the end of the day. And left never telling anyone. There was a little puddle in the chair.

In first grade I threw up hot dog chunks all over the bus. And it slide back and forth up and down the bus on the ride home.

In first grade at the baby sitters. Both bathrooms were full and I really had to go. Peed myself while standing on a carpet and had to clean it up. They made a picture of it on the computer and made fun of me.

In first grade on a car ride with another babysitter. I asked my friend what the thing on the door was for. Opened the door in traffic by accident and the door got killed.

Ran away from the baby sisters in first grade because he said there were dead people in the basement. And if you saw this guy/the family, you probably would have run too. didn't go back to that babysitter again.
 
One time I got extremely hammered the last night of high school. Hooked up with three girls throughout the night. I remember the girls, but I don't know the order of which I hooked up with them. I do however know that I shot gunned 10 beers that night and is probably the reason for this.

moral of the story: drink brewskis get bitches
 
dude i read this twice. im so sorry. it makes me think that im not a man to this girl who is in love with me. thank you to help me realize this.
 
My mom was out of town for a week, so naturally i was really high and a little drunk all week. So I woke up saturday and for some reason i was excited (no i didnt have a boner i was just excited to get out of the house). i was still high from the night before, i smoked a bowl that i packed before i went to sleep, fed the dogs and left the house. So i get to my friends house and my dumb stoner ass noticed i forgot to put underwear on so i freeballed in baller shorts all day. I instantly thought of this thread.
 
Ok.... ECB, Youre great, and we generally see I to I on various controversial topics and what not..... but I can't resist.

So..... you and your suitemate have both had sex with your cousin?
And your cousin did it first possibly with an STD cause shes allergic to latex.
You had sex with her with out a condom... therefore you could now have said std?

I think this information was left out of youre thread. Clarification is in order.

Also, youre cousin should stop having so much sex, she isn't exactly making a great name for herself.... or at least just screw guys that don't know each other...
 
yes, i entirely used youre and your correctly, followed by using youre twice incorrectly. I confess.
 
this is the way i understood it:

The cousin ECB fucked is not the same cousin as the one in the story you quoted I believe. I don't think ECB fucked the cousin in the story you quoted, but his suitemate did.
 
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