NS CONFESSIONS

Just keep in mind im 14. so i went to my friends house he came to me and said, dude me and john last night got mad nudes from this chick on chatroulette and like are somewhat freinds with her like facebook wise and shit. I thought to myself lucky fuckers so i saw the pics and i was like holy shit this girl has a fuckin rack (double d 34) she had a face of about a 7.5 outta 10 so not that bad. So like this chick is 16 and she is kinda trashy in a way of perspective like she drinks alot at parties and smokes weed and sells bowls and shit but at the time i was like ahh who gives a fuck. So i was slepin over one of my friends house and he was like, dude lets talk to her (not gonna mention her name), and i was like ight. Before hand i smoked a bowl or two and chugged a monster can full of vodka. So we call her up and she's kinda drunk with her friends (not a surprise) and my friend talked to her for awhile. After awhile i took the phone from him and introduced myself and all that other shit we talked for awhile and some how hit it off. So after that night i texted like everyday and she was like, we should meet at the mall some time, we live in the same state and the mall was the closest thing. I said ya definately. We continued talkin and she wanted pretty badly so then i thought to myself that this would be a perfect oppurtunity to score.

Since in my grade (8th) i was like the "good luck chuck" who would hook up with a girl and the next person she hooked up with she wo go alot farther and thi repeated like 4 times. So there i was a majority of my friends on like 2nd and 3rd while i was stuck on fuckin 1st base. I made the plans to meet her at the mall with my friend after my lax game and she sed she would bring her friend too. So my team whoops this team on their fuckin ass with half our players and no coach. I told my dad i was going to the mall and i was meeting my friends there. He said fine and dropped me off there. Just in case ur wonderin i put new clothes and put a shit load of deodorant on before i arrived there. So when i got there my friend told me he couldnt come and i thought to myself that fuck i have no ride home now so ill just wing it. I met up with her somewhere in the mall with her friend as well. He friend is mad ugly the definition of a troll. We both had the same thing on our minds that we wanted to hookup. So we're lookin for places and we found this one place in a changing room/bathroom in Nordstroms (family room). We told her friend to keep watch for the full 45 mins or so. So we're in the room hookin up gettin to 2nd base her givin me a bj so already i was like yess first person in the grade to get a bj. Then she's just like wanna fuck and i said yes please.

Thank god i was smart enough to bring a condom. So like we were wicked paranoid of makin any noise so we dont attract anyone to notice shit. We do like 3 positions like a 1 mintue each and ya. So after i thought to myself wow i just fucked someone, FUCK YA. We left the room and realized an asian family was waitin the whole time. After i sed bye to her i called my friends and told them the news. They were astounded that i fucked first. I then called my dad sayin that my friends bailed and that i needed a ride and he said that he was eatin with my mom and sis at the cheesecake factory in the mall so i was like yesss this is going so smoothly. Shit gets around pretty fast in my school and every thought i was lying shit. So i called her up and everyone was crowded around and i was like, hey did we fuck or not? She said ya and everyone just went silent and i was like to them thats fuckin right suck it bitch. So me and her talked even more makin calls at night and and texts durin the day and the relationship status on facebook all that jazz.

So its now summer (this summer) and shes like i can we need to hang out even more now cus its summer and i was like ya dope. So iv'e been tryin to make plans for 3 weeks now for her to get to my house which consistent on callin friends over every day just in case she could come and my rents wouldnt be suspicious and it wouldnt be awkward. So finally she came over and my friends were over as well so i was very happy. After my friends left my alone me and her quickly went to the guest bedroom which is in my basement and started hookin up. I couldnt fuck her cus she was on her period so i titty fucked her and she gave me head. So while i was gettin head, being both butt naked, i just realized that i have one of the biggest cock blocker friends over and right as i thought that all of my friends my older brother and his friend barged through the door which was locked and came to saw me getting head and being butt naked as well as her. I was so fuckin pissed they would do that and then she calmed me down and was like you're my boyfriend. Right after that it immediately struck me that i was gettin with a 16 year old skanky slut who is trashy. So when she was finshin up with the head i blew a load in her mouth and she swallowed. She was like did you just come and i was like yes i did.

She was like thats alright i swallow for my boyfriends. So after she left i felt complete embarrassment when i walked upstaris to find out my friends are still there and there laughin but hey i may have done the same thing. But now this skank is lowerin my rep with the other girls in my grade so i might not have a chance to get with them now that they think im pathetic or some shit. So without even talking to her i just took off the relationship status and fb and then i notcied she "married" someone after that so i just gave that as an ok and we've never talked since. I still now from this day on get death calls from senior fags in her highschool and all that other threatening shit.
 
how am i a piece of shit?? i didnt like her and i was kinda disgusted with myself for gettin with her and i herd from numerous people that go to school with her says she is not someone to be around with
 
Last year my best friend did the hilarious prank of blowing up a toilet in my highschool. In turn this prank led to the entire school's plumbing being shut down. There was even an assembly about it, and they decided to let us out an hour early. Now, I woke up that morning having to poop. I didn't think of it because I was rushed for time. By this time, it's 1:30, and were leaving the school, and I have to poop, soo badly, like a very explosive poop that is basically coming out of my butthole. So there were no buses, so the same friend that did the prank, also happened to have his driver's license, so he obliged to let me, and this girl I liked, to come in his car and we could talk and such you know blah blah. So I get in the car, thinking if I hold it for 10 minutes more I would be home free. So we get to her house, and I just cannot hold it, I'm about to poop my guts in the car, so I get out and ask, "So, I know this is really weird and whatever and awkward, but do you think it would be ok if I used your bathroom really quickly?" she replied "Uh yeah, but my Mom isn't home". So I literally sprinted in her house and hopped in the bathroom and proceded to take such a big poop, that I think the force of it actually lifted me off of the toilet seat. Now when I say such a big poop, I mean so big that there was barely any water left in the toilet. Plus, I can only imagine what it sounded like outside. I get up, wipe, you know the usual. Like an idiot, I flush the toilet, and obviously, shit pours everywhere, like EVERYWHERE. I scramble to clean it up, I'm in there for about 15 minutes, and I think I do a pretty good job, plunge the toilet, scoop my own shit up with my hands. Which was nasty. So I leave in a hurry. That night, I get a call from the girl. She was like, what did you do to my bathroom? I said nothing, then she said, because my mom found a turd behind the toilet. I then stopped her, and apologized and said I had a rough time in the bathroom.

(we eventually went out) lllllooooollllll
 
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so yesterday me and some other extremely handsome gents were strollin shirtless on the sidewalk of the main drag, when some hot, hot babes drove by and whistled. so we hooted it up at em, and while they were yelling back to us they got t-boned by some somalian! totaled the girls car, one chick broke her arm so we pissed on her and left. no that was a lie but she DID have a broken arm i swear
 
so at this park by my friends house there was a porta-potty. a random kid went in and I was with a group of friends. they dared me to lock him in. I took a metal post and stuck it into the door and into the ground. apparently he was trapped for a good couple hours before a car heard him yelling. oops
 
JUST WANTED TO SAY...

YOU CAN FIND OUT WHO SOMEBODY IS BY THEIR EMAIL.

usually they will have their name in the address, but also since you are on gmail, there is a drop down menu that you can find, click on one of the things and it brings up code. Somewhere in there is the persons ip address which you can find the address of, then look up that address to match it with the person.

BOOOOOOM

bitch just got unanonimified.
 
Under my bed is a full shoe box of very crusty and stiff socks, that i have been keeping ever since 7th grade...
 
Threads, this is hilarious. I'll share.

It was about grade 2 or 3 I think, I was at school, it was the middle of December, and we had our Christmas concert coming up. We were practicing our songs and shit everyday. One day, we had the practice right after gym class, and we were told to go practice and then come back and change. I didn't hear that part, so I go into the dressing room, take just my shorts off so I'm in my boxers, and my friend comes in and tells me we have practice. So I leave the change room in just my boxers and shirt, and go to the other classroom, completely unaware. About halfway through the practice, I look down and realize I'm only in my boxers and shirt, with like 20 kids sitting around me. I instantly start freaking out and quietly crying. I pull my shirt down over my knees to my ankles and crouch down. I sit there crying the rest of practice, and don't even get up. When it finished, I waddle/crawl/somewhat walk back down the hallway to the change room, with my shirt still over my knees to my ankles and finish getting changed. It was an embarrassing day to say the least.
 
this is really embarrassing, but i will tell it anyway...

In Kindergarten at my school, we had nap time. This usually consisted of an hour of either sleeping or reading. Well, I was lying there trying to sleep, when this girl comes over to me and says, "I'll show you my private parts if you show me yours." I'm in Kindergarten and didn't know it was inappropriate so I was like whatever. I showed her my penis, and she showed me her vagina. Apparently that wasn't enough for me so I stuck my finger down there and explored. Then the teachers caught us and I got suspended for a week. To this day, my parents won't let me live it down.
 
when i was about 6 i was in toys r us and i was playing one of those video games they set up while waiting for my mom to come pick me up after i had like a tutor or something that day . i really had to go to take a pee but i was afraid to ask any of the workers there to go to the washroom so i peed my pants while playing the game.. i got scared that someone would see me because there was a huge yellow puddle under me so i ran away so noone would see me.. i came back like 3 mins later to see if anyone noticed and some little kid was playing the game and didnt notice he was standing in the puddle.. he slowly looked down as he noticed there was something wet under him and started crying and ran away to call his mom.. it was pretty goddamn hilarious even though i was a 6 year old who just pissed his pants in a huge public toy store
 
Playing in the mcdonalds playground when I was little. Slid down the slide and right into a giant fucking piss puddle in the flats. Soaked myself. Worst part is we were an hour from home and had no extra clothes.

Had to ride home in piss pants that weren't even my pee. It was fucking horrible. I stayed the fuck away from those play places after
 
What do you expect.

Little kids like to claim stuff. Most of these are at least half bullshit and full of claim.

NS confessions.

I got really drunk and fucked 3 models, and then stole a car, and then I was embarrassed. I've never told anybody that before.
 
once ordered a shit load of chicken wings, ate them all and put all the bones in a potato chip bag, then me and all my buddies shit in the bag and dumped it on someones front porch at like 3 in the morning it was hyphy as fuck

 
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