Never having children

Haha, too much media influence in my opinion.

Sounds stupid but I've heard everyone is born with a spiritual influence and sense but it's up to the parents to either stifle it or lead into it. I know a lot of people who are completely 100% normal but believe that they've actually seen the "big scary man in the corner".
 
I found a notebook a little bit ago from like 1st grade and it had pages filled with scraggly girls with blood EVERYWHERE, pages of it

And I even remember why, my DAD had let me watch like dusk til dawn and my teacher told me to tell me what i did that weekend so i wrote what i saw and subsequently what I saw was bloody people
 
Best story I read in all of that. Maybe it'll raise your spirits in how hilarious kids are:

This isn't scary creepy, more just uncomfortable creepy while also being the most hilarious thing to happen to me ever...it's my favorite story from my years of teaching in a daycare/preschool. It was nap time and as any preschool teacher knows, most kids don't appreciate naps as much as they should. They will do anything to get off of their cots, usually ask to go to the bathroom because they know we can't say no (if we do, they piss their pants...assholes.) I let this little boy, we will call him Chris, use the bathroom. He had been gone for awhile so I went to check on him and found him standing in front of the bathroom mirror, dick in hand, just checking out his 'manhood'. I said "Chris, what are you doing in here? Time to get back on your cot." He turns around and looks at me and while shaking his dick around in his hands says "Miss taches_de_rousseur, I'm going to put my penis on your face!" I tried really hard to walk away before I laughed because if you laugh at something a kid does those little fuckers will just do it over and over again. I would have been successful if the teacher in the other room didn't yell back (without hesitation) "you're not the first guy to tell her that, Chris!"
 
,...

My co-worker's four year old daughter always thought that the rattling of the water pipes in the kitchen cupboards were "white wolves" and the sound always scared her.

One day she was sitting at the kitchen table and she said, "Mom. The white wolves aren't bad... they're our friends!"

Her mom encouraged the idea by saying, "Yes! The white wolves are protecting us. They are our friends."

Then her daughter added in, "They're our friends, but not the man who crawls on the floor and stands by my bed".

 
lost lost lost lost lost

"Mom, can I have your phone to take a picture of the birds in the yard?"

"Sure"

"I want to go squish those birds and kill them and hang them on our wall"

"Ethan!"

"No mom, it's ok. It's just for decorating the house"

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[–]sarfreer 1687 points 6 months ago

I don't mean to alarm you, but your son may be a cat.

 
I have a three year old who says some pretty strange stuff....

Last night: "Mommy.. the man, the very big man with big yellow eyes is looking at you."

I look.. nothing. I tell him there is no man and he is make-believe. My son laughs, "Oh he is hiding now." --- 2 minutes later, "Oh no Mommy, you made him very mad. Now he says he will come when you are sleeping."

Few weeks ago he tells me, "I'm not going to be four. I'm doing to die. And you will put me down, down, down in the hole." I tell him that isn't true, and who told him that. He gets quiet and goes, "The man told me. But I will be scared, so after three night-nights you die too and come with me."
 
I was 6 years old and my uncle was at the top of our steps leading into my parents house. This is how he describes this story every time he has the opportunity: "You ran up the steps with your arms out like you wanted to give me a hug. At the last possible second, you sucker punched me in the balls. You had a really deep voice for 6 years old, and as I bent over in anguish, you said in your devilish voice 'I hit you in the penis Uncle Paul'" He's never let me live this down.
 
What the fuck...

While changing my daughter in front of the open closet door. She kept looking around me and laughing. I asked her what was so funny. She said, "the man." To which I replied, "what man?" She then pointed at the closet and said, "the man with the snake neck." I turn around and nothing was there. I'm afraid to look into the history of my house to see if anyone hung themselves in the closet. At least she wasn't scared.
 
This one is fucked

When my little sister first started talking she used to say some really disturbing things. She used to tell us about how her old family would put things inside of her and would make her cry but her Daddy eventually burned her so much that she was able to find us, her new family. She spoke about things like that from the ages of almost two to four, she was much too young to have ever been exposed to any content where children, or anyone else could be sodomized, so my family has always thought she held memories of a prior life.
 
this^ Im going to lynch you spinoza for posting that when i'm laying in bed. But i like reading all this crap too.
 
This thread is creepy hhahah I hope my kids never say anything about a past life.

this one had my dying though

One of my baby cousins clearly said HAIL SATAN. Then started laughing hystericaly while making strange, primal noises.

------response------- Maybe he was just playing backwards.

 
My daughter is four and has taken to telling nonsensical knock-knock jokes (e.g. "Why did the Mama cross the road? Because her arms were noodles!"). One day she busts this one out:

Why did the butt cross the road?

Because it had a plug in it!

I have never felt so many conflicting emotions about my child.

hahahahahahahha!
 
Around four or five months ago, at like 3:00am I was awoken by a very weird growling sound. Disoriented and in the dark I started to come to and for the life of me couldn't figure out what the sound was. I had fallen asleep on the couch in the living room which added to my confusion. I was thinking maybe the cat had caught something, but really had no idea.

As my vision started to come around, this three foot grotesque looking shadow thing starts to appear a few feet in front of me. Just standing there growling. Creepy. Even though in reality it only took me a few seconds to figure out what was going out, I imagine my appearance would have been that of someone who was visibly shaken.

It was my son. My three year old son had snuck out of bed at three in the morning, found his hulk mask in the dark, and decided to go find daddy to play superheroes. I guess his idea of playing was to do a hulk growl two feet from my sleeping face until I woke up in a panic.

He ended up doing the same thing to my wife a few weeks later which, to me, was way more hilarious.

lol
 
When I was about 3 we had a

cat that had still born kittens. I asked my father if we could make

crosses for them, which he did. As he was making them I asked:

"aren't those too small?",

Dad: "What do you Mean?"

Me: "aren't we going to nail them to them?"

Dad: (after several moments silence) "we're not going to do that"

Me: "oh"

 
Why are you crying?

"Bad man"

What bad man?

"There." Points behind me at a dark corner of the room

Lamp on bookshelf next to said darkened corner falls off as soon as I turn to look.

She slept in our bed that night

Some creepy stuff.

I also heard about a story in HS of a girl who was driving with her mom over a bridge. She said from the backseat "Mommy, this is where I died. I drove right off the bridge"

The girls mom was creeped out but asked, "When?"

The child replied, "It was 19XX. It was a Tuesday"

The mom then did some research and found out that in the year the girl said a woman had driven off the bridge and died, on a Tuesday.
 
My son was about 4 and a half and his sister was 18 months. I said I was really sorry I wouldn't be able to read them a story that night as I had a meeting to go to, but I would read two the following night to make up. My son said, "It's ok, Mama, Auntie Tracy will read to us". I felt the hairs go up on the back of my neck. I thought he must have that wrong, so said, "Who?". He answered, "Auntie Tracy, Mama. She looks just like you. After we go to bed she reads and sings to us". I had never told them that I was an identical twin and my sister was stillborn. Her name was Tracy.

---

My Boss had two daughters one of which died very young in life due to a medical condition, she passed away in her early twenties. Anyways the family found it easier to not keep picture up of her or really discuss her as their way of mourning. Anyways the other sister had five children and on a quite frequent basis one of her little girls at a very young age would say she was playing with her imaginary friend Lisa, which is also the name of the deceased sister. Not too much was paid attention to that fact until one day she also added that her friend was her Aunt, and she visited her quite frequently. The little girl had never been exposed to the fact that she had a Aunt and she had passed away before she was born nor had she been told her name. I am close to the family and when I heard that story it freaked me out.

The deceased family member thing seems to be a theme.
 
A week ago I found a something that I had wrote from 2nd grade it said.

I wil kil all the pepol at dad's werk so that he is the onley won ther

(translation)

I will Kill all the people at Dad's work so that he is the only one there.

As I read it I could not believe that I had actually thought that it would be a good idea.
 
You still live at home with your parents and you still are a kid so shut up.

on a real note i do not want kids the older i get the more I start to hate them, plus the world has to many people anyway. I also don't even want to get married 50% chance of divorce and losing half of my stuff (and if you have a kid the woman always gets them so the man always loses way more than half) i don't know how anyone can look at couples in this country then want to jump on the bandwagon.
 
I'm bumping this thread with a story

My Uncle passed away before I turned one. But one night when I was about 4 or 5 years old I saw a man walk into my room who looked like my dad. He looked at my dresser, looked at me, and left. I told my parents about it the next day. It turns out that we inherited the dresser from my uncle after he passed away.
 
I jokingly asked: "What's the best way to get a girlfriend?"

7-year-old's response: "Tell her to be my girlfriend or she'll never see her parents again."

gold
 
my friend grew up in a house that used to be owned by a man with a funeral home. apparently he did some of his work at home and kept bodies in the basement so he could embalm them and whatnot. when my friend was a toddler his parents would frequently find him in the basement talking to "an old man"
 
"My older sister was born the year my Dad's mom died. According to my dad, as soon as my sister was old enough to say the words, she said "I am your mother."

ummm
 
You don't avoid skiing because there's a very real possibility of injury, so don't avoid marriage because there's a possibility you could "lose half your shit." If you find someone you love, you take a chance with them just like you do with two pieces of wood and a mountain covered in snow.
 
I actually had something similar happen to me while I was home visiting for Christmas. So when I was younger I always had a problem with my parents room. I always had really fucked up vivid dreams about there being something bad in their room. What ever it was, I could never see it, but it would draw me into their room and then kill me. I could never resist the urge to go in there in my dreams even though I knew what was coming. I had these dreams a couple of times a week and even had some strange things happen when I wasn't asleep back there.

Well anyway, come to Christmas and my whole family is at my parents house and my nephews were there. One of them just turned three and he loves playing the "chase me!" game. So I'm running after him all around the house and after a couple minutes he starts going towards my parents room and when he gets to the doorway he just freezes, looking into their room. I said "whats up bud?" to which he answered "he's in there!" (pointing into my parents room). He looked at me like he was absolutely petrified. Anyways, I threw my arm into the room around the corner and turned on the lights and he was back to normal and ran into the room. It absolutely scared the shit outta me and brought back a bunch of messed up memories.
 
It's not shitty reasoning, you can still live with a person you don't have to get married to them. Some people regret getting married, some people on the site over the next 30 years will lose their house, will have to trade in their car and lose the kids it happens. Fail to see your reasoning because you love someone that means you automatically have to get married to them?
 
No, not at all. To each their own. I'm just saying to say you'll never look at it as a possibility because there's a potential for it to fail is a bad reason. If you don't believe in it as an institution, totally cool, but if you actively avoid it because there's a risk, then I think that's silly.
 
Well guess what I really don't give a fuck how you judge me on how I want to live my life. You cannt just ignore that statistic, factor that into your decision. It will affect the rest of your life, there are many people were very happy they got married, and I'm sure there are many people whose lives were ruined because of it. Things can always change, but as of right now I still stand with what I said.
 
because everyone thinks their love and relationship is a beautiful, unique snowflake that can and will overcome all odds
 
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