HombreDeHuevos
Active member
hahahahah
best one so far
best one so far
Need ideas to fuck with a girl while hooking up
- Thread starter 3ski6guy0
- Start date
HombreDeHuevos
Active member
you could also do the narwhal:
have a narwhal close by (in a fish tank perhaps), then while boning her from behind (regular or anal, doesnt matter) pull out and replace yourself with the narwhal's unicornesque horn. as soon as she notices yell out "YOU JUST GOT NARWHALLED BITCH!!"
thatll teach her
have a narwhal close by (in a fish tank perhaps), then while boning her from behind (regular or anal, doesnt matter) pull out and replace yourself with the narwhal's unicornesque horn. as soon as she notices yell out "YOU JUST GOT NARWHALLED BITCH!!"
thatll teach her
petek
Active member
Mine is called the Houdini.
Do her doggy-style. When you are just about to come, pull out and spit on her back. She will think you have jizzed on her back, and she will turn around to say "what the fuck", and then spray her face.
If she doesnt turn around and say "what the fuck", i think you should keep her no matter how much of a bitch she is. Not many girls are thrilled when you mark your territory, so thats a keeper.
Do her doggy-style. When you are just about to come, pull out and spit on her back. She will think you have jizzed on her back, and she will turn around to say "what the fuck", and then spray her face.
If she doesnt turn around and say "what the fuck", i think you should keep her no matter how much of a bitch she is. Not many girls are thrilled when you mark your territory, so thats a keeper.
RoLLLinDeep
Active member
Give her the AIDS rodeo.......bang her raw dog with her on top......then grab her as tight as u can while your dicks inside her and look her in the eyes and tell her you have aids.....and then see how long you can hold on like a bull rider......shits hella funny
StevenSegal
Active member
THE Hersheys Chocolate Milk....
This one takes a while but it's worth it! You need to first go to your state house and apply for a name change. This may involve a certain amount for background checks and things of that nature, hope your not a felon. You need to get you full legal name changed to Hershey Herhey Hershey, this is very key. You than need to apply for an international passport under the name of Hershey Hershey Hershey. This will also require a background check so, again I hope you have a clean record, and some time. This next step is also key and is getting towards the end so stick with me. You need to become some sort of hero, save a local orphanage from a fire (you may need to start this fire). This will allow you to get a large front page story with your picture and name, again it is now Hershey Hershey Hershey. Now for the best part! Get this girl in bed, maybe more than a few times, you need to build this broads trust up! Ok this is it, after setting up a closed circuit television system linked to A. an internet web feed, and B. Some sort of recording device( tivo would be fine i think)... you need to have ANAL SEX with her this is huge i repeat it must be ANAL SEX. Work that shit like never before and make sure not to service yourself for a week or so ahead of time so you'll come mega hard! Now release your man juice into her stink hole, deep... now punch that slut in the head and knock her out quick!!! In her placid state her anus will release a creamy brownish off white goo, much like that of a Hershys brand chocolate milk. Take a glass and fill it with said goo. WAke her up and have her drink it, She won't remember much and will be glad to have a refreshment to releave her from such a groggy state. take a picture NOW!!! You must be holding your passport and the recently taken hero newspaper article. Humiliation complete. I'm glad to have been of service my fellow NS'er.
This one takes a while but it's worth it! You need to first go to your state house and apply for a name change. This may involve a certain amount for background checks and things of that nature, hope your not a felon. You need to get you full legal name changed to Hershey Herhey Hershey, this is very key. You than need to apply for an international passport under the name of Hershey Hershey Hershey. This will also require a background check so, again I hope you have a clean record, and some time. This next step is also key and is getting towards the end so stick with me. You need to become some sort of hero, save a local orphanage from a fire (you may need to start this fire). This will allow you to get a large front page story with your picture and name, again it is now Hershey Hershey Hershey. Now for the best part! Get this girl in bed, maybe more than a few times, you need to build this broads trust up! Ok this is it, after setting up a closed circuit television system linked to A. an internet web feed, and B. Some sort of recording device( tivo would be fine i think)... you need to have ANAL SEX with her this is huge i repeat it must be ANAL SEX. Work that shit like never before and make sure not to service yourself for a week or so ahead of time so you'll come mega hard! Now release your man juice into her stink hole, deep... now punch that slut in the head and knock her out quick!!! In her placid state her anus will release a creamy brownish off white goo, much like that of a Hershys brand chocolate milk. Take a glass and fill it with said goo. WAke her up and have her drink it, She won't remember much and will be glad to have a refreshment to releave her from such a groggy state. take a picture NOW!!! You must be holding your passport and the recently taken hero newspaper article. Humiliation complete. I'm glad to have been of service my fellow NS'er.
wAy2sTeEzY4u
Active member
dude i tried it but i got caught up with the passport, oh well at least im named HERSHEY HERSHEY HERSHEY now thats cool i guess.
Love_Wins.
Active member
That's awesome, I wanna see that footage.
Bloom.
Active member
Here is a fairly extensive compilation of some of the
extraordinary sexual activities that can be performed by men:
1. Hot Lunch - While receiving head from a woman, you proceed
to shit on her chest. (A.k.a. the Cleveland Steamer)
2. The Stranger - Sitting on your hand until it falls asleep
and then jerking off, eliciting the feeling of a hand job from someone else.
3. Western Grip- When jerking off, turn your hand around, so
that your thumb is facing towards you. It is the same grip that rodeo folks use. Hence, western.
4. The Blumpkin- You need to find a real tramp to do this
right. It involves having her sucking you off while you are on the shitter.
5. Donkey Punch - Banging a girl doggy style and then moments
before you cum, sticking your dick in her ass, and then punching her in the
back of the head. This gives a tremendous sensation, but for it to work correctly,
the girl must be knocked out so that her asshole tightens up.
6. Golden Shower - Any form of pissing all over a chick (a.k.a.- watersports)
7. Pearl Necklace - Well known. Whenever you cum on the
neck/cleavage area of a girl - it takes on the look of beautiful jewelry.
8. Coyote - This occurs when you wake up in the room of a nasty
wombat and you know you've got to give her the slip. However,
you realize that your arm is wrapped around her. Therefore you must
gnaw off your own arm to get out of the situation. Can be very painful.
9. Purple Mushroom - This occurs when a woman is giving you
oral sex and you withdraw your penis in order to poke it back into her cheek.
It should leave a lasting impression similar to purple mushroom.
10. The Flying Camel - A personal favorite. As she is lying on her back and you are hammering her from your knees, you carefully balance yourself without using your arms to prop yourself up. You then proceed to flap your arms and let out a long, shrieking howl, much like a coyote. Strictly a class move.
11. Fishhook - A variation of the shocker in which you pull
back towards the pussy after you stick your finger up her anus.
12. The Ram - Again, you're attacking from behind, when you
start ramming her head against the wall in a rhythmic motion. The
force of the wall should allow for deeper penetration. Very handy for those lulls in penile sensitivity.
13. Bismarck- This is another one involving oral sex. Right before
you are about to cum, you pull out, shooting your load all over her face. Follow that with a punch and smear the blood and cum together.
14. Jelly Dougnut: A derivation of the Bismark. All you have to
do is punch her in the nose while you are getting head.
15. The Woody Woodpecker: When a girl is sucking on your balls,
tap the head of your cock on her forehead.
16. Dog in a Bathtub - This is a proper name for when you
attempt to insert your nuts into a girl's ass. It is so named because it
can be just as hard as keeping a dog in the tub while giving it a bath.
17. Tossing Salad - Another prison act where one person is
forced to basically chow asshole with the help of whatever condiments are
available, i.e. Jell-O, olive oil, etc. I'm never going to prison.
18. Rim Job: Another name for tossing salad. Focuses on the use
of the tongue.
19. The Bucking Bronco- An all time classic. You start by going
doggy style on a girl and then just when she is really enjoying it, you grab onto her tits or hips as tightly as possible and call her a big fat no-good worthless slob. More than likely, she will try to escape. This will give you the feeling of riding a bronco as she tries to buck you off.
20. Pink glove - This frequently happens during sex when a girl is not wet enough.
When you pull out to give her money, the inside of her twat sticks to your hog. Thus, the pink glove.
21. The Fountain of You - While sitting on her face and having
her eat your ass, jerk off like a madman. Build up as much pressure
as possible before releasing, spewing like a venerable geyser all
over her face, neck and tits. (Better in her bed).
22. New York Style Taco - Anytime when you are so drunk that
when you go down, you boot on her box. Happy trails.
23. The Dirty Sanchez - A time honored event in which while
laying the bone doggie style, you insert Your finger into said woman's asshole, pull it out, wipe it across her upper lip leaving a thin, shit moustache. This makes her look like someone whose name would be Dirty Sanchez.
24. The Fish Eye - From behind, you shove your finger in her
ass (or his if you are in prison). Thereupon she turns around in a one-eyed
winking motion to see what the hell you are doing.
25. Tuna Melt - You're down on a chick lapping away and
discover that it just happens to be the time of the month. By no means do you
stop though. When the whale spews, tartar sauce with a hint of raspberry
smothers your face.
26. Fur Ball - You're chomping away at some mighty trollop who
has a mane between her legs the size of Lionel Richie's Afro, when a mammoth fur ball gets lodged in your throat and causes you to beat the piss out of her.
27. The ChiliDog - You take a shit on a girl's tits and then
proceed to titty fuck her.
28. Gaylord Perry: Going to only one knuckle during an anal
probe is for wimps. Make this famous knuckle ball pitcher proud and use multiple
knuckles on that virgin corn hole. A minimum of two knuckles required (either
on one finger or on multiple).
29. Rear Admiral: An absolute blast. When getting a chic from
behind (while both partners standing), make sure you don't let her grab on to
anythingwhen she is bent over. Then, drive your hips into her backside
so that you end up pushing her forward. The goal is to push her into a wall or table. It's almost as much fun to have her trip on her face on the floor. You become an Admiral when you can push her around the room without crashing into anything and not using your hands to grab onto her hips.
30. Glass Bottom Boat: Putting saran wrap over your partners
face and proceeding to lay a hot shit there.
31. Ray-Bans: Put your testicles over her eye sockets while
getting head.
(Picture it: ass on forhead) It may be anatomically impossible,
but it is definitely worth a try.
32. Snowmobile: Always a blast. When getting a girl while she's
on all fours, sweep out her arms so she falls on her face.
33. Dutch Oven: Rather simple. Whenever you bust ass while in
the sack pull the covers over both of your head so she can enjoy your pork and beans as well.
extraordinary sexual activities that can be performed by men:
1. Hot Lunch - While receiving head from a woman, you proceed
to shit on her chest. (A.k.a. the Cleveland Steamer)
2. The Stranger - Sitting on your hand until it falls asleep
and then jerking off, eliciting the feeling of a hand job from someone else.
3. Western Grip- When jerking off, turn your hand around, so
that your thumb is facing towards you. It is the same grip that rodeo folks use. Hence, western.
4. The Blumpkin- You need to find a real tramp to do this
right. It involves having her sucking you off while you are on the shitter.
5. Donkey Punch - Banging a girl doggy style and then moments
before you cum, sticking your dick in her ass, and then punching her in the
back of the head. This gives a tremendous sensation, but for it to work correctly,
the girl must be knocked out so that her asshole tightens up.
6. Golden Shower - Any form of pissing all over a chick (a.k.a.- watersports)
7. Pearl Necklace - Well known. Whenever you cum on the
neck/cleavage area of a girl - it takes on the look of beautiful jewelry.
8. Coyote - This occurs when you wake up in the room of a nasty
wombat and you know you've got to give her the slip. However,
you realize that your arm is wrapped around her. Therefore you must
gnaw off your own arm to get out of the situation. Can be very painful.
9. Purple Mushroom - This occurs when a woman is giving you
oral sex and you withdraw your penis in order to poke it back into her cheek.
It should leave a lasting impression similar to purple mushroom.
10. The Flying Camel - A personal favorite. As she is lying on her back and you are hammering her from your knees, you carefully balance yourself without using your arms to prop yourself up. You then proceed to flap your arms and let out a long, shrieking howl, much like a coyote. Strictly a class move.
11. Fishhook - A variation of the shocker in which you pull
back towards the pussy after you stick your finger up her anus.
12. The Ram - Again, you're attacking from behind, when you
start ramming her head against the wall in a rhythmic motion. The
force of the wall should allow for deeper penetration. Very handy for those lulls in penile sensitivity.
13. Bismarck- This is another one involving oral sex. Right before
you are about to cum, you pull out, shooting your load all over her face. Follow that with a punch and smear the blood and cum together.
14. Jelly Dougnut: A derivation of the Bismark. All you have to
do is punch her in the nose while you are getting head.
15. The Woody Woodpecker: When a girl is sucking on your balls,
tap the head of your cock on her forehead.
16. Dog in a Bathtub - This is a proper name for when you
attempt to insert your nuts into a girl's ass. It is so named because it
can be just as hard as keeping a dog in the tub while giving it a bath.
17. Tossing Salad - Another prison act where one person is
forced to basically chow asshole with the help of whatever condiments are
available, i.e. Jell-O, olive oil, etc. I'm never going to prison.
18. Rim Job: Another name for tossing salad. Focuses on the use
of the tongue.
19. The Bucking Bronco- An all time classic. You start by going
doggy style on a girl and then just when she is really enjoying it, you grab onto her tits or hips as tightly as possible and call her a big fat no-good worthless slob. More than likely, she will try to escape. This will give you the feeling of riding a bronco as she tries to buck you off.
20. Pink glove - This frequently happens during sex when a girl is not wet enough.
When you pull out to give her money, the inside of her twat sticks to your hog. Thus, the pink glove.
21. The Fountain of You - While sitting on her face and having
her eat your ass, jerk off like a madman. Build up as much pressure
as possible before releasing, spewing like a venerable geyser all
over her face, neck and tits. (Better in her bed).
22. New York Style Taco - Anytime when you are so drunk that
when you go down, you boot on her box. Happy trails.
23. The Dirty Sanchez - A time honored event in which while
laying the bone doggie style, you insert Your finger into said woman's asshole, pull it out, wipe it across her upper lip leaving a thin, shit moustache. This makes her look like someone whose name would be Dirty Sanchez.
24. The Fish Eye - From behind, you shove your finger in her
ass (or his if you are in prison). Thereupon she turns around in a one-eyed
winking motion to see what the hell you are doing.
25. Tuna Melt - You're down on a chick lapping away and
discover that it just happens to be the time of the month. By no means do you
stop though. When the whale spews, tartar sauce with a hint of raspberry
smothers your face.
26. Fur Ball - You're chomping away at some mighty trollop who
has a mane between her legs the size of Lionel Richie's Afro, when a mammoth fur ball gets lodged in your throat and causes you to beat the piss out of her.
27. The ChiliDog - You take a shit on a girl's tits and then
proceed to titty fuck her.
28. Gaylord Perry: Going to only one knuckle during an anal
probe is for wimps. Make this famous knuckle ball pitcher proud and use multiple
knuckles on that virgin corn hole. A minimum of two knuckles required (either
on one finger or on multiple).
29. Rear Admiral: An absolute blast. When getting a chic from
behind (while both partners standing), make sure you don't let her grab on to
anythingwhen she is bent over. Then, drive your hips into her backside
so that you end up pushing her forward. The goal is to push her into a wall or table. It's almost as much fun to have her trip on her face on the floor. You become an Admiral when you can push her around the room without crashing into anything and not using your hands to grab onto her hips.
30. Glass Bottom Boat: Putting saran wrap over your partners
face and proceeding to lay a hot shit there.
31. Ray-Bans: Put your testicles over her eye sockets while
getting head.
(Picture it: ass on forhead) It may be anatomically impossible,
but it is definitely worth a try.
32. Snowmobile: Always a blast. When getting a girl while she's
on all fours, sweep out her arms so she falls on her face.
33. Dutch Oven: Rather simple. Whenever you bust ass while in
the sack pull the covers over both of your head so she can enjoy your pork and beans as well.
bigwhite.steeze
Active member
pee in her bum...or the angry dragon...hahaha
Billiards.
Active member
do her in the bum, then spit on her back and shell think your done. when she turns around blow your load in her face.
Mr_Bojangles
Active member
Hahaha! that's brilliant.
edmonton_skier
Active member
hahahahaha thats probably the best story ive heard on here^
steeplechamp
Member
I couldn't believe that list or you guys didn't mention the HOT CARL! it's when she's lickin your #2 and you crap in her face.
rockymountainmilitia
Active member
A few buddies of mine did this one.
I like to call it the hole in one.
Get her up to your room. get your room super dark and say you want to make love without the lights on so that its all feeling. some bullshit or something. then when your fucking her, have a bunch of buddies, like 8 or so. sneak into your room and just start a really slow clap. proceed to turn on the light and finish with hoots and hollers from your friends. no pictures required she will be very very upset.
I like to call it the hole in one.
Get her up to your room. get your room super dark and say you want to make love without the lights on so that its all feeling. some bullshit or something. then when your fucking her, have a bunch of buddies, like 8 or so. sneak into your room and just start a really slow clap. proceed to turn on the light and finish with hoots and hollers from your friends. no pictures required she will be very very upset.
jamiebrowne
Member
tell her you have aids, say this 15 minutes after you fooled around with her and then leave
Notorious_BLT
Active member
do her from behind then very descritly put on a batman mask and cape... she will freak out
Commonwealth
Active member
the tony danza....its when you are balls-deep in a woman from behind and while ramming her mercilessly, you proceed to yell, "Who's the boss?! Who's the boss, bitch?!" Typically, she will yell, "You are!" at which point you turn her around, slap her with your cock and yell, "No. Tony Danza's the boss, bitch"
wAy2sTeEzY4u
Active member
suuuuuure girrrrls say it hurts.......not like you speaking from expeience, i know i am!
skibum1854
Active member
another version of the Houdini: so your porkin' her from the behind and you have her so she is looking out a window on the first floor, your buddy is hiding in the closet, naked, ready for action, when she is getting WAY into it you and your buddy(that she doesnt even know) switch places with out her noticing, then you sneek outside and wave to her through the window.
Sean...M
Active member
thats not it at all my friend
rodeo is where you got a girl doggy style, and your gonna try and put it up her ass (she doesnt want to) then yell RODEO! and try and hold her down as you put it up. as this is goin, a few of your buddies run in the room and all chant RODEO RODEO RODEO!! as you scramble her down and still go for the A. its all good if it works and you have loud friends. i dunno if its considered rape tho? =\
rodeo is where you got a girl doggy style, and your gonna try and put it up her ass (she doesnt want to) then yell RODEO! and try and hold her down as you put it up. as this is goin, a few of your buddies run in the room and all chant RODEO RODEO RODEO!! as you scramble her down and still go for the A. its all good if it works and you have loud friends. i dunno if its considered rape tho? =\
Freeskier874
Member
Rodeo for sure man
ISkiSwitch
Active member
hahaa, wtf?
