My Story About Vishnu and the U.S. Court

Logi

Logi

Member
I never knew Emmet from Vishnu, but I had heard many things about him. At first, I got him confused with Malcom (of Shredsauce) and Dan (of Arsenic). I would say; “Oh yeah, I love Shredsauce! Emmet is the g!” I would get many weird looks from my core friends. They would later push me to social isolation, kicking me out of their crew. I was down in the dumps, unmotivated, and ready to quit skiing. But one day I was playing Grand Mountain Adventure when I thought; “Wait a minute! If I want to be core like my old friends are, I can buy 189 Vishnu Wets! That way I can pull up to the ski hill with my fresh setup, and maybe the crew will take me back!” My only mistake was that I was a short 5’ 3” at the time - riding 189 skis would be incredibly hard to do. But I powered through, I ordered the Wets, had them mounted, and brought them to the hill on the day of March 18th, 2026. As I clipped into my gold Pivot 18s, I heard a distant voice: “Ross… Ross! Ross! Over here!” I turned my head faster than Matej did a triple on a snowboard. As I tried to focus on him, trying with all my will to recognize this figure, I heard his voice; “Ross! It’s me, Emmet!!” I was astonished by his voice. Keep in mind, I had never met Emmet before. We walk towards each other. As we approach each other, I greet him with a couple of Tom Wallisch style hand gestures. I tell him, “Emmet, what’s up?! Love the skis, man!” He doesn’t say anything. Confused, I say what’s up again. Still, nothing. He stares at me, darkness in his eyes. Now we are just two men, in ski boots, standing next to the ski racks. Emmet suddenly jolts his hand to his back pocket of his black Saga Anomies, and pulls out a letter. He hands it to me as he says just three words. “You’ve been served.”

I opened the letter as Emmet walks away. It’s a court order from… the court. It says I legally can’t ski anything under 210 centimeters in the U.S. anymore. A punishment for my immature mistake. I was astonished. Was I reading this letter correctly? I rubbed my eyes and took another look. No, I didn’t read it wrong, I really couldn’t ski anything under 210 anymore. I slumped back to my car, ready to drive home. I took one last look at the court order and saw in fine print: “Anyone charged of this felony is given unlimited special Vishnu Wides in a 210 cm size.” I yelped at the top of my lungs, grateful for this sponsorship from my new favorite ski brand, Vishnu. I looked in the trunk of my car, and there they were: the Vishnu Wides.

The date is May 15, 2029, and I am writing this entry in the Timberline parking lot.

Guess what? There’s a gondola and a magic carpet to the summit of Hood now!
 
I’m gonna turn into [tag=242938]@Jems[/tag] if I see one more stupid ass unfunny thread like this
 
14376131:Logi said:
Yes they don’t come in an 18 at this time, but in the future they do
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Setting a reminder with a link to this thread. I'll lyk if you're still a dumbass
 
14446224:lindsywes said:
I didn't really understand anything, was everything you wrote real? I had a story on the level of some Hollywood movie. The thing is, I was doing business with a friend of mine, I thought he was a nice guy, but he had a very strong desire to make a lot of money, and sometimes it seemed like he could do anything for it, and even overstep the law. And so it happened, he was offered by some gang, he was laundering money through our business, and he was offered a cut of it. He did not say anything to me, as he knew that I would be strongly against the idea. Everything was fine, we worked as usual, but one day the special forces came to us and took us away. I did not understand what, who, what for, why, and why law enforcement took us away. When we arrived at the station, I told the chief inspector everything I knew, that I was an ordinary businessman and had done nothing wrong. They didn't let me go, but in the evening they came to my cell and told me that I was detained for assisting gangs, fraud, and money laundering on a large scale. This is when the truth came out, my partner turned out to be a complete rat, and in addition to the fact that he didn't admit to working with the gang, he compromised with the investigation and accused me of the crime he had committed. I had to look for a lawyer, and at times like this, you start to remember a lot and think about a lot, so I remembered that a friend advised me of Criminal Attorney in New Brunswick NJ, as they are considered the best in our state, with them I would have a better chance of getting my innocence. My brother went to them and they took my case. Collected various facts, interviewed witnesses, and suspects, and based on that, built a strategy for my defense in court. It was based on my biography, lack of criminal record, responsibility for the papers my partner was responsible for, his own biography, my alibi, etc. In court, it was very interesting to watch the prosecution try to convict me with made-up facts, but they failed. I was acquitted, and my colleague was charged under 6 articles, including false testimony. I think he found his place for about 25 years, and people like him should sit there so other people don't get hurt by their actions.
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what the fuck kind of crack are these bots smoking these days, jesus christ
 
14446229:Rparr said:
what the fuck kind of crack are these bots smoking these days, jesus christ
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Just think, a law firm hired someone to make a bot to post this for them. I wanna know how many of the attorneys it took to get this script or they just had a bot machine learn from reviews/ testimonies
 
14446260:AndrewGravesSV said:
Just think, a law firm hired someone to make a bot to post this for them. I wanna know how many of the attorneys it took to get this script or they just had a bot machine learn from reviews/ testimonies
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And why on NS? Like a couple dozen broke-ass park rats need legal representation.
 
14446260:AndrewGravesSV said:
Just think, a law firm hired someone to make a bot to post this for them. I wanna know how many of the attorneys it took to get this script or they just had a bot machine learn from reviews/ testimonies
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Uhh, hello, I am real person
 
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