My ski story

Schmitz

Active member
Lawnmowers and Powder days

My feet started to ache from my boots. Sweat collected on my thigh under my Stevens Pass trail map. The drone of a lawnmower was puttering away, competing with the upbeat music of “Ski Movie II High Society�. As the skiers were soaring off cliffs in the movie, I made the decision sitting on my couch to jump off the infamous Tye Rock. I dreamt of being on Tye Mill chairlift with my buddies to receive another strong dose of adrenaline.

With Alex and Miles by my side we slowly swayed in the corroded black lift. The taste of a chocolate peanut butter Cliff Bar was still lingering in my mouth. I could tell that it had snowed a good two last night, when the skier’s bodies looked as if they were amputated at the chest on each turn. Above me were soupy clouds that had created a windless white heaven. Alex and Miles were fidgeting in their seats. As soon as I was directly above Tye Rock I said, “I’m going to do it� with a tone of indifference, although my insides were bursting with excitement. They looked at me, dumbfounded. Alex said, “Are you crazy?� Without pausing to take in the comment, I repeated my words. My eyes were locked between my skis at the ominous cliff below, not bothering to look at the upcoming unloading station.

The black chair nudged me off the seat pushing me towards the run as though it was urging me on. I could feel my whole body pulsating rhythmically with blood. I methodically strapped my poles on and clicked into my new LBF skis. I ripped off my last piece of beef jerky. Every turn down the blanketed slope was equivalent one violent chew of the jerky. Alex and Miles traversed down below me. Alex murmured, “You don’t have to do this,� but I was committed to the bone. Without any notice, I pointed ‘em down hill. The grade increased, and I could see a bottomless sparkling white abyss below. When the tips of my skis had air under them I felt the sensation of pure freedom. All of my troubles had lifted away. As time stood still, I slowly sank back into the deep, forgiving fluff. It felt as if there were no interface between the air and snow.

As the volume of my senses was turned up, I heard people on the chair lift cheering. I let out a loud hoot. Alex pushed toward me gasping, “That was awesome� I just smiled and sealed the moment into a memory. That day will forever be embedded into my brain. It will be played over and over in my head like the threatening drivers education videos you’re forced to see. But as the ski season ends and the growling of lawnmowers starts, you will find me one the couch fully equipped for winter. With ski movies blaring; my mind racing through unforgettable powder days, first cliff drops, and the anticipation for a life time full of more ski memories.

-Eric Schmitz

Skiing, the remedy to all illnesses

-Eric

 
nice, i enjoyed reading that

------------------

-lucas

'So which is it, are you a faithless preacher? Or a mean motherfuckin servant of god?'

bomb hills not cities

 
didnt copy it this time did you?

_________________________________________

1. Cover your stump before you hump.

2. Before you attack her, wrap your attacker.

3. Don't be silly, protect your willy.

4. When in doubt, shroud your spout.

5. Don't be a loner, cover your boner.

6. You can't go wrong if you shield your dong.

7. If you're not going to sack it, go home and whack it.

8. If you think she's spunky, cover your monkey.

9. If you slip between her thighs, be sure to condomize.

10. It will be sweeter if you wrap your peter.

11. She won't get sick if you wrap your dick

12. If you go into heat, package your meat.

13. While you're undressing venus, dress up that penis.

14. When you take of her pants and blouse, be sure to suit up your trouser mouse.

15. Especially in December, gift wrap your member.

16. Never, never deck her with an unwrapped pecker.
 
yeh man, kool story

---------------

The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness. For he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know I am the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon you.' I been sayin' that shit for years. And if you ever heard it, it meant your ass. I never really questioned what it meant. I thought it was just a cold-blooded thing to say to a motherfucker before you popped a cap in his ass.

 
reading that made skiing withdrawls worse...

Not afraid to be mistaken not afraid to try, not afraid to be uncertain not afraid to die

NoTeefa (In a conversation about the new Harry Potter Movie): 'it's almost orgasmic...'
 
such a great story, exactly why people ski. but I kind of hate you at the moment because you're making me miss winter more than ever now.

'hey look guys! For a dollar you can get a free condom!'

- a friend when she saw the condom dispenser in the bathroom

'We could give him milk after filling his epipen with heroin and turn him into a drug addict'

- a guy thinking of ways to get revenge on someone who is deathly allergic to milk
 
wow, that was really well written. i hate those damn drivers education videos we had to watch... ever see Red Asphalt?

_______________________

don't take me for a joke, i'm no comedian. too many mental problems got me snortin' coke and smokin' weed again.

===========

no doubt, sit back on the couch, pants down, rubber on, set to turn that ass out. Laid the bitch out, then i put it in her mouth, pulled out, nutted on a towel, then passed out.
 
'I could see a bottomless sparkling white abyss'

howcan u see a bottomless abyss

__________________

good thing i got my trusty cougar call
 
i dont know why everyone thinks it was so well written. it's not bad, but throwing in a bunch of vocabulary doesn't make it well written. you really need some sentence variety, almost every one is a simple sentence.

____________________

Chappelle's Show Cult...BITCHES
 
yeah one of my english teachers was real big on that, we couldn't have two sentences of the same type in a row in our papers, unless it was for effect or something. it helped my writing a lot.

____________________

Chappelle's Show Cult...BITCHES
 
it makes me want to do it

_________________________________

line skis- because skiing needs a future

i wish mt hood blew up and all the ash and stones landed on my mountain and it became like 2000 feet taller - Bristolrider
 
yeah, my english teacher was like that too, every aspect of our papers had to be deliberate, from sentence length, to placement, everyhting was deliberate, she definately helped quite a bit

*********************************************************

Jules: What does Marcellus Wallace look like? Brett: What? Jules: [pointing his gun] Say 'what' again. SAY 'WHAT' AGAIN! I dare you, I double dare you, motherfucker! Say 'what' one more goddamn time! Brett: He's b-b-black... Jules: Go on. Brett: He's bald... Jules: Does he look like a bitch? Brett: What? [Jules shoots Brett in shoulder] Jules: DOES HE LOOK LIKE A BITCH? Brett: NO! Jules: Then why you trying to fuck him like a bitch, Brett? Brett: I didn't! Jules: Yes you did. Yes you did, Brett. You tried to fuck him. And Marcellus Wallace don't like to be fucked by anybody, except Mrs. Wallace.

BFSC WE DO IT FROGGY STYLE

 
wow man i wish i could write as good as you and spell ..anyways really good story .

Fight the power Line skis since 1995!!

----------

oh so thats what you call a getaway well tell me what you got away with cuz i'v seen more spine in a gelly fish i'v seen more guts in an 11 year old kid. have another drink and drive your self home .i hope there is ice on all the roads. so you can think of me when you forget your seatbelt . and again whn you'r head smashes thro the winsheald .

 
cool story.......ther is a fine line beetween using too much 'sparkling' vocab and not enuf....ur story is just a little on the too much side, but its still good....its reminds me of snow//im gona go be emo now

\EC//
 
pimp. nuf said.

___________________

- Ian

~~Phunkin Phatt Phreerider~~

'what a coincidence! i have an erection.' - Derek

'the objective was to get huge tits the size of mountains jack ass. i had to look at fat porn to make these.' - bitchassphatz
 
Back
Top