My Roommate

Dosh

Dosh

Active member
I need the community's opinion on my situation. Here's a bit of background: I live in Montreal and go to the same school with my friend from home. He has a girlfriend that I did not know about when we signed the lease. She is not a bitch or anything, but it gets quite annoying when I have a lot of school work to finish during the week (sun-thurs) and they are here all the time on completely different schedules. I do not mind her coming to the house, but since she also has her own apartment literally five minutes away, I told him that they need to go there for part of the week as well. My roommate and I have talked and decided that the most fair thing to do would be to split the week in two-meaning he and his girlfriend can be here 3x/week and they will go to her apartment 3x/week. This plan seemed perfect in my mind and he knows there are certain days of the week that I do not care if they are here and ones where i would prefer they were not (i.e. the first part of the week when i am busy vs. the weekend when i am usually out anyway). Like clockwork, every Thursday, they show up and stay here until Sunday morning. Now that is three days right there and actually works perfectly b/c i am not concerned with getting work done during that period. But he also shows up randomly with her like now or sneaks back here around 4 in the morning with her like 2 or 3 times during the week. As you are all able to count, this is more than 3x/week as we have agreed is fair. This is a problem b/c i hate having to tell him over and over again what I mean. I thought he understood b/c he is very clearly an intelligent person. I do not know if he is fucking with me and trying to take advantage of me or if he really is that forgetful and absentminded. I feel like they are just lazy and aren't willing to sacrifice any of their plans b/c it's too much of a pain for them. I really am not asking that much of him though. As usually seems to be the case in said situations, I am most pissed that he cannot follow these simple directions. What would you guys do? Right now my plan is to let them be here three days during the week and if thursday rolls around, just tell my roommate that they have already been here three times. And if he was trying to hang out with her here this weekend, that he should keep track b/c that was the whole point of making this arrangement in the first place. Opinions?
 
Why exactly do you not want them there? Are they loud or something? Constantly having sex and distracting you? You can't just study in your room?
 
they really aren't too bad. i am just easily distracted and it's what we agreed upon. why do they have to be here if they have another place to go? i do not have the luxury of that option. it's really the principle of the thing that bugs me.
 
1. Shouldn't have lived with a friend from home imo

2. He probably just doesn't realize that it pisses the fuck out of you, that and a combination of him not caring

I have to deal with the same shit with my roomates, well not the same shit but they piss me off and they don't even realize it...unless I tell them, so I guess I'm suggesting to tell him, you pay half the rent, he can't have his cake and eat it too.
 
this is quite evident. we have spoken of this several times before though. i just thought he would have caught on by now.
 
lol what?
and to the OP. no offense but you seem like youre being sort of weird about the situation. i feel like unless they do something legitimately annoying like being loud all the time, or you hate her or something, i dont really see why you can be pissed if your roommate has his girlfriend over to his own apartment more than 3 times a week. thats less than half the week.
just my two cents. but regardless of what you do, dont just be a passive aggressive bitch about it. people like that should be shot
 
Unless they are doing something legitimately annoying or disrespectful then you shouldn't have any say in who he brings over or anything. Its his place as much as it is yours. If you think that you can regulate your roommates like that then you need to either change your attitude or find a studio because the more you try and control your roommate the more he's just going to keep doing whatever he's doing just to piss you off (probably what he's doing right now.)
Theres always the library?
 
At least you don't have a roommate that is only a year older than you and thinks he can command you around like a mother. Fucking HATE my roommate.
 
Use the library or some other location to study. Or buy noise canceling headphones and wear them when your friend is around, but don't play any music, just turn the noise canceling on. Or just get ear plugs.
 
If it really that annoying then say this. "Yo bro you know I am cool with a lot of things, but this shit with your girlfriend here 24/7 needs to stop, like now. We already agreed that she can be over 3x a week, but your pushing the fucking limit. 3x a week does not mean 4x or 5x a week so get it your shit straight. I got studying to do and this shit is messing up my grades." Something along those lines.

Clearly being nice and cheery bout the situation didn't work. So take a more direct and stop this shit now kind of outlook. Also it would prob be better if his GF was present when you told him that.

 
haha naw man! i don't want it to get to that point. the thing is i am just very mindful of these things and he is the complete opposite.
 
haha dude, I def understand you. I get pissed because my bathroom mate always has his gf in his room when she lives 2 doors down the hallway. Even though we don't even share rooms, every time I got into the bathroom I can hear her in there, annoying as hell. Probably because my gf goes to school in MA and I'm jealous of this bastard next door.
 
Could be worse, my roommates a total creeper, only leaves the room for class and dinner, plays his shitty music all the time, leaves his half the room a miss, has long nasty hair that i always end up finding randomly (long stray hair grosses me out) has a girl over after dinner every night who sits in my chair (shes repulsive and smells bad) sleeps with stuffed animals and i have reason to believe hes gay (no hate just would prefer not to in on that if he starts bringing a guy home) and think he may be a cross-dresser (saw a dress size 12 high heels and a boa in his half the closet)
so when he comes back with his gf for the 4th time in a week, just think... it could be worse
 
Putting that 3 times a week limit was just a bad idea. I don't understand why you can't just study in your room, it seems like you are being really finiky. (sp? thats a fucked up word)
 
to be honest, id probably tell you to fuck off, if im in your roommates shoes and i pay half the bills im coming and going with my gf as i please and you said your self there not to bad you just get easily distracted, you should go to the library to study. stop being a control freak.
 
Do something that would make HIM not want to be there. Be fucking annoying and loud and when he has work to do hit the wall with a hammer and drive him the fuck out of there. I'm not even joking, make him want to be at his gfs appt instead of yours.
 
You should go Fuck off. go study at starbucks or some shit. Its his apartment too so technically he can do whatever he wants there as long as he pays his half of the bills. There is nothing in the lease that says your roommate has to be considerate. If you tried to pull this shit with me as your roommate I would probably laugh right in your face and tell you to fuck off.

learn from this lease and get your own place next time with no room mates.
 
shitty deals, it comes down to hes on the lease, he has just as much of a right to be there as you do. His girlfriend on the other hand, does not, he should be able to come there and stay there anytime, but his chic simply shouldn't at all if its causing an issue..
 
no shit man! that's what no one else seems able to grasp. and when she eats our food and takes showers here and shit, she becomes a third roommate who pays no bills. i don't know why any of you would be cool with that.
 
well... you are asking for advice on a forum populated with high schoolers who have most likely never experienced having a roommate before
 
and i have absolutely no problem with him being here. we are good friends and that's why i wanted to live with this kid. and i don't even mind her here some of the time. it's just annoying when it seems like some of the time turns into every day of the week.
 
Ahh, that makes more sense, she basically lives there you mean. You should of just said that.

Yeah, tell him to keep her out, you agreed to live with one other person, not two.
 
yea homie, thats a really shitty situation, you cant say much to him because he may get defensive for his chic, maybe if u give him the option of "yo, dude, your a good guy and she's nice but if she's not paying, she's not on the lease, and she cant stay here, if she is going to be here CONSUMING and being a user, then she has to pay, its that simple" and since she's in a lease of her own, she wont be able to do that and then she should get the hint.hope things work out for u dude.
 
another solution would be to get a girlfriend, then they would probably just go to her place and you'd have place alone for you and your chick.
 
I agree with this statement. Not trying to be mean, but he is paying to live there too. And that means that he can be there whenever he wants, and ivite over anybody he wants to his house. I have a lot of problems with my roomates too, but when I need to study I just go to the library because there are no distractions there.
 
He is paying to live their but his girlfriend isn't, and if his lease is anything like mine (or any other typical lease given to a university or college student), it will specify no overnight guests.
 
you seem to be kind of a shitty person to begin with, so heres what you do...

you rape his gf. end of the roommate, and the girl problem.
 
I don't understand, if you're in your room doing work, how is she annoying when she's not around you? If she's not loud and disturbing then whats the problem? play tunes and study and act like you live alone? you really need to just suck it up because you would probably do similar to him if you had a gf around. I have a roommate whose gf is around alot but shes cool as fuck and we have a decently sized house and like two living rooms so i guess im not around them all the time.

overall, suck it up, there are much worse things in the world that you dont even have to experience.
 
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