My room mate isn't great

bitchassphatz

bitchassphatz

Active member
it's is terrible.

he is so politically correct it sucks. i can't even try to be funny, he is so quick to tell me that things i say are "wrong".

Completely whipped over his girl friend who isn't even around here, so he's always on the phone talking about gay bull shit, like right now. (sparked this thought)

Doesn't ever come out on weekends. I'll come home at 4:30 in the morning and he'll be in bed. bad example, even a couple nights ago at midnight (i started early) he was laying in the dark on the phone.

Doesn't do anything but homework and play tennis. I met him half way and started playing tennis for the bonding, but it's not even really fun.

He is stinking this room up, BECAUSE HE NEVER LEAVES! I'm an averagely stinky kid and it's just getting nasty in here. I've lived with some stinky ones and he is starting to rise on the chart.

He is the lightest sleeping in the world. He'll bring up that i was rolling in my sleep the night before and he couldn't sleep. I just took a pretty long nap and he woke me up to a lame ass baseball game. Where is the courtesy? I try to be quiet when he sleeps, fucking dick. So i told him to shut that shit off.
 
i'm just a little annoyed. he's also talking some shit on the phone about me, he thinks my headphones are on too high.
 
Sounds like you have three options:

1. Work hard to make your roommate happy. You'll be miserable.

2. Move out/get a new roommate. You'll be happy in the long run.

3. Piss off your roommate so much that he moves out. You'll be happy.

Here are a few suggestions on ways to get rid of a roommate:

Collect potatoes. paint faces on them and give them names. name one after your roommate. separate your roommate's potato from the others. wait a few days, and then bake your roommate's potato and eat it. Explain to your roommate, "he just didn't belong."

Inject his twinkies with a mixture of Dexatrim and MSG.

Buy some knives. sharpen them every night. While you're doing so, look at your roommate and mutter, "soon, soon...."

Every time your roommate walks in yell, "hooray! you're back!" as loud as you can and dance around the room for five minutes. afterwards, keep looking at your watch and saying, "shouldn't you be going somewhere?"

Administer last rites as he sleeps.

Adopt an iguana. Collect the skin peelings. Give them to your roommate as a peace offering from Peter (the iguana).

Build an antfarm. Let your ants have "jailbreaks". Then ask your roommate to help you hunt down all the renegade ants.

Buy a gun. Clean it every day. One day, put a Band-Aid on your forehead, and refuse to discuss the gun ever again.

Buy a watermelon. Draw a face on it and give it a name. Ask your roommate if the watermelon can sleep in his/her bed. If your roommate says no, drop the watermelon out the window. Make it look like a suicide. Say nasty things about your roommate at the funeral.
 
start slipping his sleeping pills

if hes a douch that doesnt do shit, he might as well be sedated so you can do as you please.
 
quit your bitching. hes not that bad from the sound of thigs at all! atleast he doesn thave sex when your in the room and HE KNOWS YOUR STILL UP BECAUSE YOU JUST GOT IN BED. Atleast he doesnt leave nasty stinkey ass trash everywhere and dirty poo stained underwhear on the middle of the floor. I never had a roomate that was that bad, but I have heard plenty of stories, and yours really isnt that bad at all.

my first roomate was allright. we didnt hang out much or anything, but he was atleast somewhat polite. he did have sex once though when I was tring to sleep the night befor a test which pissed me off. my second roomate was cool. we were friends before and managed to stay pretty chill with eachother so thats cool.
 
omg that is nothing compared to the roommate disaster I had last fall, she was SUCH a psycho path omg...

here's a story for you as an example....she came home from work one day, and went straight to the bathroom and took a shower....and then went to her room when she was done. so after she was out, my bf went to go to the bathroom, and as he is walking into the bathroom he is liek 'umm..sophie you have to see this.' so i went to the bathroom and she had taken a SHIT without wiping her ass, didn't flush the toilet and then proceeded to take a shower...i wanted to puke.
 
slip roofies in his girlfriends drink when she finally comes to visit. fuck her in the ass and wear her clothes around the house. that should get him good and angry.
 
i like where this is going. too bad he won't let me near his girl friend, he knows i could pull it off. last time she visited i didn't even meet her, he didn't even invite her in the room. who doesn't introduce their room mate to their girlfriend? pretty lame kid. he just 'talked' to me about staying up till 2 am on the night before the 4th. fucking ass clown.

i told him i've been polite and jsut cuz he needs to study doesn't mean this isn't my room too. there is a fucking room in the lobby to study in. i'm gonna kill this kid by the end of the next term, or just not give a fuck and pound some girl out right next to him. make her moan all night until he finally leaves the room. i like the latter.
 
there you go. i think it'd work to your advantage to get more than one chick moaning at a time. maybe if you could get a small orgy or something going on...
 
kick his ass

my bro had a roomate that was about 4 7 and played online poker all day

but he never botherd him just felt like sharing
 
try being naked all the time and if that doesnt get to him pop random bones and walk around the room. if he looks at you funny ask him what the hell his problem is.
 
now your thinking, its a win win with that one. but instead of one girl go for a 3-5, not more than that tho this is a dorm were talking about not a house. Also bring friends to the room constantly, host poker games in the room. To really piss him off randomly start tuning your skis at 4am right in the middle of the room, and im talking a full wax and scrape, not just the edges
 
I think this is pretty indicative of how gay the kid is... you are courteous enough to wear headphones (my roommate never did) and yet he still bitches.

No pleasing him.
 
I'm sure you will get a good rommate. Mines really chill, you seem like you are easy to get along with so maybe it was just one bad apple. Good luck in your search.
 
I am gonna be going to a univ this fall and im kinda nervous about my roomates. I signed up to be in a three person suite, I figured that with 2 roomates im more likely to get at least ONE cool one.

I visited my cousin at the same college and his roomate was a SLOB. I am talkin like 350 pds and played warcraft all damn day. Had wrappers and shit all over, it was disgusting. My cousin said the guy farts a lot and is just a terrible roomate.
 
That sucks. I live in my own place with my sister and her best friend, and just living in the same house with the sis can get annoying. Total slob.
 
No matter what idea you have, what it involves, or what it's supposed to accomplish, wearing women's clothing has to come into it SOMEwhere... eh Sean?
 
Theres a very normal explanation for that.

She got the water going and pooped while waiting for it to get warm. Then it was one of those super nice poops that you don't even need to wipe and since she was about to get in the shower who cares anyway. So she gets up and thinks "If I flush the toilet the water will get all hot and burning and it'll suck so I'll just flush it when I get out". So she takes a shower and forgets to flush. It happens to me nearly every morning.
 
^I dunno though^

That's not something chicks can generally get away with like guys. They're just suppossed to wipe and flush regardless. And come on. How do you know it's a perfect poop without at least one experimental wipe?
 
sometimes you just know. I always have to do the one test wipe but I can almost always predict if I'm gonna need to wipe more than once.
 
maybe she's European and doesn't use TP like the rest of us. She just waited till before having a shower because then she doesn't have to wash her hand.

PS, how many of you would run to get your girlfriend to look at her roomates poop???
 
he didn't get me to come and actually LOOK at it, it was more to tell me the story so that we could laugh at her...and no she is not european, she uses toilet paper like the rest of us and that is only the beginning...

she also cut down to only drinking 6 pepsis a day, and she ate a pound of bacon for dinner...EW
 
How much longer do you have with this kid? I mean it sounds like you're taking summer courses, so you shouldn't have that much longer with him. Either that or your school is on tri-mesters.

But just tough it out. I mean thats all you can really do. Don't piss him off that only makes it worse. And it doesn't sound like he's caused a big enough problem yet to make it an issue with student housing. He's just weird and annoying. If you confront him about some of this stuff, it will probably only make him defensive.

My friend had a room mate like this freshman year. I used to tell him to bring chicks back to my room and bang them there, because his room mate was one of these lock-myself-in-my-room-because-I-am-unconfortable -with-myself-and-insecure kids.

Best I can tell you dude. I know its rediculous. But thats part of the college experience. Living with people that aren't that great. Maybe find a newone for next semester. One that you pik yourself. All the good roomates are taken after sophomore year haha.
 
yea it'll be fine, i've lived with much, much, much, much worse. he's not a slob or anything, so that's a huge bonus, and he does homework all day and no drugs. no distractions for me. i just like staying up late. whatever.

sounds like this bacon girl is pretty large, and any fat girl poop would make me hurl.

as for the eropean tiolet ass cleaners, those things are great! i never thought a squirt gun to my asshole would feel that good. I think i might've popped a wood from it.
 
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