My name is Hansel. I have a cool story.

finssidedown

finssidedown

Member
So I was riding my bike to the gym along a residential street minding my own business when a car with portable suns for headlights comes up behind me (you know. the super-bright-sear-your-eyes-out-because-these-lights-came-from-outer-fucking-space) and I hear teenager voices so I was like eeeeffffiiiiinnnnggg aayyyyyeeee they're going to yell some gay shit.

So as I'm looking back the passenger is getting ready to throw a fast food drink at me. I slam on my Hayes 9inch hydraulic disk brakes and the drink goes into the bushes in front of me. Horrible fucking throw. The driver floors it and the little honda gives all of it's 20 horsepower to get away.

So then I was like... wtf....! uhhmmmm I'm gonna come at you like a fucking spider monkey now. I could see there was a red light like 50 yards ahead so I thought I had a chance to catch him. I dropped a gear and started cranking up a storm and came within 2 yards of the car before the light went green and the car zoomed off with 4 teenage boys cackling in their 95 accord.

I was 2 yards from kicking the shit out of their car. Maybe getting my ass handed to me.

Probably getting my ass handed to me.

daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaammmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiittttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt.
 
2004 Specialized BigHit. + super t fork

I think it's a 2004. It's the year they did silver instead of that god awful purple.
 
My friends do that, they call it punishing. I think they only do that to late night drunks though...
 
i ran cross country and track in high school... so every once in awhile, we'd get some smart ass yelling " Runn Forest RUNNN ! " while on a 8, 9 mile run. after a few times, this goes beyond annoying. and everyone whose read A Perfect Mile, you'll know where this is from.. but my buddy ( who ran the hurdles) caught up with one of these asses at a red light, and ran over his car, from trunk to roof to hood. .. the fuckhead was so dumbfounded he just sat theere shocked til the light turned green and he continued on his merry journey.
 
nah prob. not. and honestly, it really is funny.. cuz 99% of people who yell outta their cars couldnt run 2 miles straight without dying haha
 
dude one of my friends invited me to do that with a bunch of upperclassmen, yea were talking people that are lke 17 or 18. They came to my house and i was like. Are you fucking kidding how old are you seriously if i got hit with a fucking drink or applesauce or egg i would flip giant shit. Really gay when people do that. People always yell shit at me when im on my bike
 
17 or 18... hah seriously, kids like that who spend their nights fucking with people who just wanna enjoy whatever... nothing better to do ? and one of these days hopefully they'll be yelling at some runner / biker who happens to be carrying a lugnut in their pocket.. and bam, 300$ windshield.
 
You should have just grabbed the plates, called the cops and said that some kids were goign around town throwing garbage at people.
 
one of my friends is a competitive road bike racer so people always yell shit to him about the spandex etc. He told us the story of this one car that followed him and yelled shit at him for like 3 miles honking the horn and getting right up on his ass. So at the next light when the car stopped ahead of him, he pulled out his mini pump from his little pack and as he rode by, and smashed out one of their brake lights then spit on the kid through his window.
 
My sister is in sixth grade and some seniors drove up to her and where like cmon get in the car we have candy and shit. So my dad flipped shit cause they scared the hell out of my sister
 
Sometimes my friend and I will drive up next to the track team running down the road and blast "Eye of the Tiger" to motivate them.
 
Haha, pwned...although it was nightime, and he was temporarily blinded due to the extra-terrestrial lighting on the car...
 
Well it's either that or I kick their car, then they call the cops on ME and/or hand me my ass.

Anyway. I don't think I could've gotten away after kicking their car because I know those streets pretty well and I don't think there wouldve been a way to outrun that car.
 
Everytime I see bikers I yell "LANCE!" at the top of my lungs, it pisses them off so much I love it!
 
Well the thing is there are some places a car can't follow you. Throw down some u turns, blast across a parking lot, go behind buildings... I'd be surprised if a car was still on my tail after that.
 
thats pretty sweeti m not gonna lie.

if someone did that to me id probably more motivated then a pagful of ns motivational posters, although thats a tough call
 
i was walking with a few friends back from the movie theatre and this car drives by and throws a whole pack of eggs and never hit us once all they succeeded in doing was causing a scene all over the side walk
 
i think he might be talking about those relatively new LED ones that are banned in some parts of the world because they blind drivers at night.
 
Eh the cops probably wouldn't ever do anything. Even if the cops did talk to them they wouldn't get into any real trouble. However a broken rear window would make even the most thickheaded asshole think twice before committing such assholery again.
 
Hahaha, the "LANCE!" thing is awesome. What a bunch of tools, I like the idea of running over their car back to front, that would confuse me so much.
 
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