My girlfriend broke up with me today.

She sounds like she is crazy which unfortunately is unfixable.

There is a reason the first rule is "Don't stick your dick in crazy"
 
like several other people said, whatever makes you happy, surround yourself with that. Living in the past gets you nowhere. Life goes on, and looking back on it in time, I think you will realize everything happens for a reason, and life only goes up. Also, enjoy your new found wealth.
 
Well, I just had the weirdest experience with her. I have so many mixed feelings right now I don't know what to do. It's a bit of a lengthy story.
 
I guess im in the same boat as you. She broke up with me 2 months ago. I wouldn't say im really over her unfortunately. First real girlfriend, first person i could relate to so easily, loved her family a butch too, such a good lot. She broke up with me when I was sick for a month. My advice just keep busy, you only feel like shit when you have nothing to do so just dont give yourself the opportunity.
 
Dude, holy shit I'm a fucking idiot. I just screwed up so bad. Ugh, I'm cringing so hard right now thinking about this. So anyways, she sent me a text saying to come over to her house right now. I ask her why? She says that she needs to tell me something really important, but she can't say it over the phone because it will be "monitored". What the fuck. So I grabbed the next bus and went to her place.

Jesus christ NS, I really fucked the pooch with this one. This gets really fucked up. I don't even know if I want o continue with the story.
 
Okay :( I'm going to fucking cry while I write this though.

So, I get to her house and I'm about to knock on her door, when she opens up the second floor window and says "Don't you fucking ring the doorbell. Don't even touch the door. You'll wake up my parents and they will kill you. And not figuratively kill you. My dad will beat the shit out of you if he sees you here with me". So, I'm a bit shaken but I figure whatever she needs to tell me is really important. She instructs me to climb the tree next to her house to get into her room. I climb it and get inside. I ask her what this is all about, and she says that her parents (they are really fucking protective, even though she is 18) have thought I was a bad influence on her ever since they met me, and have wanted me out of the picture since say one. She says she still has feelings for me, but she couldn't keep ruining her relationship with her parents. She had to break it off because in order to basically not be disowned by her family. I really didn't know what to say at this point, but the only thing that felt natural was to kiss her. Not just a regular kiss. The most passionate kiss of my life. One thing led to another and...

Jesus christ, this is where it gets bad. Fuck. I'm cringing so hard.
 
This gets pretty serious. I fucking ran away from her house and slept in some bushes by her house. i'm writing this from my phone right now. Her parents are probably going to charge me with rape and assault or something. I'm so fucked. The bad part gets fucking bad. I don't know if I want to tell it.
 
Okay fuck it, I'm dumping the story.

So, we're going at it. I'm going hard. Like, the hardest I've ever gone in my life. This is the last time I will fuck her, so I have to make it count. The bed is creaking, she's moaning, everything is fine and dandy. But then I remember that the walls are paper thin in her house and her parents are just down the hall. Fuck fuck fuck I need to finish up fast and get out of here. Still going strong when I hear something coming from down the hall. Shit, it's footsteps. I can hear them slowly walking in our direction. I start thinking about what they'd do if they caught me busting a nut in her daughter, but I can't fucking control myself. I just keep going. The footsteps are getting louder and faster. Fuck fuck fuck I'm still inside her and I have no self control. I hear the doot handle. Her mom busted in and said whats that noise! Aww mom you're just jelous it's the Beastie Boys! You gotta fight, for your right, to party!
 
plot twist emergency vehicles responded immediately and managed to save OP's penis, but he would only have 1 inch of it left out of the 3
 
You should have seen it coming and dumped her to keep your status level up.

Start hanging out in strips clubs and try your best to hook up with a slutty girl she knows to get her jealous and mad. That is how you can get a moral victory.

If you started a thread on Newschoolers about it I am guessing it will take you a few weeks to get over it. So just try and speed up the process and be sad and get over it as soon as possible. Eventually you won't give a shit but the sooner you stop caring the better. Seriously though do whatever the fuck you need to do to not give a shit about it in a week or two and you'll be fine and have a new one.
 
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I'm already feeling a bit better about it. I don't know, she was just pretty unique and I feel like I let her get away.

She was pretty fucking weird though. Like, really [/b]fucking weird sometimes. I have no shortage of stories about weird things she did.
 
Just emotion talking its natural. People think people they know and are attatched to are unique and special and not a dime a dozen.

You have the same emotional attatchment to a partner that you do to your dog or cat. (You wouldn't cry over your neighbors cat getting hit by a car but you would if it was your own even though both cats could be equally super cool.)

The next girl you meet will have plenty of good things about her. And when you meet her she'll be new and exciting and fun and stuff and you'll be happy.
 
Well for one, she was always really into two things: art and birds. She painted, drew comics and sketched a lot, and she was good at it too. Now, the art would have been pretty normal if it wasn't mixed with the birds. The birds were the weird thing. She's absolutely obsessed with magpies. Don't ask me why, but she thought it was her "spirit animal" or something. Everyday she wore a magpie feather ear ring, and wore like all these shirts with birds on them. She also made this like paper mache plague doctor mask which she called her "magpie mask". She fucking wore it around the house, and even on some camping trips I kid you not. She also constantly painted pictures of magpies and drew self portraits of her with wings. Seriously.

She was so obsessed with magpies that she even went as far to give herself the nickname Magpie. She literally singed this as her name on things and made her username for everything some variation of magpie. She also had bird-themed nicknames which she called all of her friends/me. My bird nickname was "Peacock" and she called me this all the time.

The reason for my nickname was because of this game we played together a lot. In the game, I always played as a character named Peacock. Because of this, she decided to constantly call me peacock and draw pictures of Peacock all the time. This is actually where my icon comes from.

Likewise:

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go on gypsy, tell us more stories about your crazy ex-girlfriend/bird/gypsybird. sell us your wares and tell us your stories gypy
 
One time we went to starbucks to get some coffee. I got mine right away, but her's was taking some time. I go to ask her if they said her name already, when the barrister comes to the counter with a coffee.

You know what the barrister says?

"Coffee for Magpie"

"for Magpie"

"Magpie"





It had to be fucking magpie.

 
People that weird have a tendency to change their minds a lot.

What will you do if she decides she made a mistake and wants you back?
 
no gypsy, no! she's just after your magical gypsy tears. you're too strong now, don't give into temptation. go smoke PCP with the forest elves and be merry!
 
It wouldn't be all that different from my experiences with her.

Honestly, she isn't even a big hippy or anything like that. She's just fucking weird.
 
my girlfriend broke up with me yesterday, and it's so weird bc when we walk in lines in school we are next to each other

#elementaryprobz
 
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