My dog cock blocked me!

catsRjerks

Member
Have any of you been cock blocked by your pet?

Okay we'll let me set the seen, it was an unusually warm winter night, 72% humidity and a slight southerly.

The girl I invited over, whilst not of Mila Kunis callibre, she was definitely up there, I'd say a solid nine and we got along so well.

Upon entering my house she was greeted by my parents (no drama here). I conversation was struck in which I discovered she had not seen lion king (red flag). I said something along the lines of "I don't know if I can trust someone who has never had a childhood, you probably don't even know what a super saiyan is?"... She just giggled a bit and said "no"..

In an effort to somehow bring joy to this girls life I suggested we watch ice age (a classic if you ask me), I then proceeded to put this movie on.

Things progressed as they naturally did throughout the introduction, and we had found ourselves quite close. But I liked the movie and was sure to some how let this girl claim some youth back so I refrained from smothering her.

The movie continued whilst we were slightly embraced, every now and then Indy would pop in and jump on my lap or just on the couch.

I can quite describe the sensation I felt next, but something wasn't quite right, I thought I smelt something a bit odd, whilst definitely not overpowering. I did not bring this to the attention of my company as I wished not to offend.

The lady friend started to look uncomfortable, I went for another cheeky kiss but this time she turned away. Minutes later she insisted she had to go home.

So I walked her out to the car, gave her the most awkward hug, she just kind of put her hands on my shoulders really and said our goodbyes.

A bit disappointed and confused I walked back to my house whilst pondering the events that took place.. About 5 metres from my door I put my hands in my pockets which were slightly damp.

I looked down, and bam! Massive wet patch on my crouch, quickly sniffed my fingers, it was a horrible smell..

Then came panic, all I could think of was "did I somehow pee my pants and didn't realise" "how could this happen" I ran into the toilet and dropped my dacks.. But my legs and junk was bone dry, I couldn't feel anything.

I went into the room we were in and the pillow my dog was resting on/resting on my lap for half the night was soaked!! My dog had pee'd on me, but on my crouch and I never felt it. So now this girl thinks I just casually pissed myself next to her.

I contemplated whether to message her or not to explain everything, but I thought it'd just sound like I was making it up, the moment had past, needed to say something when it was happening for it to ever be plausible.

I have not spoken to her since that infamous night. The end!
 
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eat like 5 bushels of asparagus, then go over to her house and douse her with your funky asparagus piss, she'll never leave again
 
I don't care about the pee, but for fuck sake OP did you really bring up Dragonball Z in front of a girl? Jesus man, that ought to say enough about your potential to land a second date you fucking nerd.
 
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i think it all went wrong when you suggested ice age. i mean its a good movie but nowhere near date night caliber.
 
** My obsessive compulsive disorder is exploding.

Relax mate, my phone chooses it for me, it's not an essay, i aint no gonna proof read no shit ya feel me dawg

 
Ice Age? Really? you had me pretty convinced you were 12 before, but watching Ice Age on a date night just put the icing on the cake
 
I don't know how you can post pics of nonexistent females, especially not the best looking one on your facebook feed.
 
Inb4 OP just wet the bed and this was his dream leading up to it.

Also OP, son, you wouldn't even know what to do if you got there.
 
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