well in one episode bert and ernie are sleeping together and ... well heres the quotes i dont wanna explain
Bert: Answering phone Hello? Son of a bitch. I'm on my way.
Gets out of bed and gets dressed
Bert: Some poor bastard got his head blown off down at a place called Hooper's.
Ernie: Bert, I wish you wouldn't drink so much, Bert.
Bert: Well, Ernie, I wish you wouldn't eat cookies in the DAMN BED.
Ernie: Bert, you're shouting again, Bert.
'pet what? pet her kneecap farrel'