Most rediculous thing your parents have said to you.

Haha, almost as bad as my mom, when I left home to go to uni my mum took me shopping, I thought sweet free food for a week or so, we get to the checkout, and she makes me pay for it all... pfhhh.
 
Me: Mom!

no response

Me: Moommmm

still none

Me: MOOOMMMM!

Mom: Jamie shut the hell up! Go in your room and touch yourself or something!
 
mom- "what's wrong with you"me- "i'm so hungover, i think i'm in slow motion today"mom- "yeah well haven't you drank every day you've been home on break?"me- "actually now that i think about it, yeah i have"mom- "yeah well that's real reasonable smartass"
 
everytime i wear baggy shirts and jeans
Dad: "why you wearing your jeans so low i can see your ass, you know black men started that fad in jail so they could smuggle in guns and drugs."
 
Mom: weed should be legal. And cigs should be illegal.

Me: And how do u reason?

Mom: cuz weed gets joo highhh. and ciggs just suck ass.
 
Baggy pants were a prison standard in the early 20th century... If inmates had access to belts, they would more than likely use them to beat the crap out of each other or hang themselves to death. Technologies like elastic helped fix this problem, but even today the style remains among homosexual inmates. They tend to wear their pants well below the hips, as this gives potential studs quick and easy access to their butt, and anyone can effortlessly reach inside and sample the tightness of their sphincter.
 
last year, my parents decided that mandatory drug testing was in store for me until I moved out of the house. so when the first test came around (I was about 99.9% sure I would pass) she goes to check it and says"...marijuana...positive...!" I'm like "no, mom. that is the example thing to show what it's suppose to look like if it was positive" she's like "oh.." then precedes to read the directions for another five minutes to make sure I'm not pulling the wool over her eyes. I just walked out shaking my head.
 
when i got my harley my mom said to me "now you know that you can't drink and ride that thing.. it's much different than a car"

 
I feel way out done.... I'm going back to Portsmouth today, (after all the fun of a family Christmas) I'm determined to get some free food out of this...
 
the rents said the same thing to me, i just laugh of them and said that the shit they wore when they were young looked redic. they agreed and now they buy tall tees for me.
 
my dad:"now i don't care if you have a friendship with Mary Jane. Just make sure its good stuff and you don't get caught with it."

convo prior to breakupmom: "so how's the new boyfriend?"me: "he's fine"mom: did you guys have sex yet?"me:"umm.... no! seriously mom?"mom: "liar"
conclusion: my parents are nuts.
 
me and my dad having a argument

dad-you are guna get stabbed

me-i am going camping i wont get stabbed

dad-i am going to make a yourtube video about you and every one will laugh at it

me-dad its youtube

dad-aww shut up just go get stabbed
 
dad - "your hair looks like you haven't brushed it in a month"

me - "my hair is an afro, there is no point in brushing it"

mom - "we all know the neighbour girls are just going to mess it up by the end of the day anyways"

dad - "well it's silly"

me - "you haven't shaved in four days, your face looks silly"

dad - "you wish you could grow a beard"

mom - "the neighbour girls would run away if he did"

my dad can be pretty ridiculous sometimes.

 
hahahahah my mom says that to me all the time, everytime she meets a girl i know she goes "you hook up with her" "no mom" "wow you really are gay" thanks sue!
 
haha same here, fuck my school. my parents say so many rediculous things i cant even remember. my dad always tells me i never do any work around the house, which is complete bullshit. i told them that i wanted to go to somewhere like colorado state for college, somewhere out west, and they said thats to far. well isnt that the point?
 
My brother had just taken half the bottle of solo, drinking it straight from the bottle so noone else could ahve any either...i proceeded to get pissed at him

Dad: Go grab a beer and chill out

Me: you're a stupid frickin drunk

Dad proceeded to laugh at me...the bastard
 
wooo, I got £50 ($100) of food out of her this time, I won't have to go shopping for a month, sooo much more money to spent on getting drunk now. haha
 
Parents: Why are your pants soo low? Thats just ridiculous, They're at your thighs.

Me: They're snowpants....

Parents: OMG I can see his ass.

Me: Those are my pants.

Parents: Why are you wearing them so low?

Me: Cuz I'm a tttttthhhhuuuuuugggggg

Parents: Whatever...walk away.
 
So one day i was unstacking the dishwasher and putting cups away and my mum comes up to me and says

Mum- Please put all the cups away with the handles facing right in neet lines.

Me- Ok mother

Mum- I know its anal... but thats how i like it.

I walked off lauging at how shed said anal... then i realised about the rest. Should of said "i know mum... thats how i like it to" if only id thought of it at the time.
 
yes.

my brother also says weird things sometimes. he once called Marilyn Monroe "a nice piece of skirt." yeah... he's 20 years old, but he acts 50. I mean seriously.
 
Mom: Weed is worse than alcohol, and its illegal

Me: I don't think so, you can get alcohol poisoning and die, no one has ever overdosed on marijuana

that didnt turn out very well
 
my mom is always like wow michael that's an expensive coat or michael those pants are going to be waay to big

my answer

it aint easy bein steezy
 
Mom at ross:That sweatshirt makes you look like a pregneat midget

Me:Mom its fucking 7 bloody edollos dollars
 
to have this make sense you need to know my parents age. im 20, my dad is 70, 71 in august and my mom is 56.

this conversation occured probably two weeks ago.... (its about my current and first girlfriend, yes, i know, im pathetic)

"i want you to wait to finish college and shit before you know, you get married."-my dad

"yes, i know... god, im not a fucking moron."-me

"but then again, dont wait as long as i did, it makes you look like a moron."-my dad

"so you want me to get her pregnant?"-me

"sure.... wait, what?"-my dad
 
<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/-s0Y_COunB8&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/-s0Y_COunB8&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top