Most embarrasing thing you have ever said to you parents

just had one last night... i went out drinking with a few buddies, and about 12 shots of vodka later, passed out. so we get back to this kid collins house, im not totally sure how, i dont remember anything... they said i was walking with some difficulty, i sure as hell don't know :).

anyways, so the kids mom immediately realizes im stone drunk when i pass out ON HER BED... and then she flips the mattress over, i fall on the floor, and dont move... so she brings me home, naturally.

i pass out yet again on my bed and wake up a few hours later to some very angry parents. they kept on talking about how i wasnt drinking responsibly, and how drinking is meant to be enjoyed and how i shouldnt drink just to get drunk, perhaps just to become a little looser with friends... of course, still rather drunk, i blurted "if you're not drinking to get drunk, you're not actually drinking!" now im grounded... oh well.

certainly not the MOST embarrassing thing ive ever said to them, but i thought it was pretty funny.
 
Well I was sleeping over at a friend, and his parents ere out partying. Then we switched over to some porn, and I went up to talk to his older brother, and then when I got down his mom stood and yelling at him, and when we went to his room, I said what happended, he says; I thought it was you coming down here again but it was mom so I said, QUIET! I'm trying to film this shit! To his mom and she flipped. He sat close-up at the TV-screen and filming with his cellphone.

I laughed so bad. It's not about me, but an embarrasing thing anyway.
 
haahahahah did your dad know what he was doin or did he just think he'd be devious and make him say boner.
 
when i was watching the world series a few years ago, that douche bag arod and pulled some stunt where he like slid into first base and like hit the first baseman. i cant really remember but i was pissed, and i was like "fuck that bullshit you asshole." it was like the first time i let the f word fly in front of my parents so it was a big deal to me. my mom was just like, "whoa easy there, its just a game."
 
one time i was at a school lax game (i was watching) i was at it with my dad and a few people we know are there and shit. but the ref makes this terrible call and without thinking i just yell FUCK YOU! at the top of my lungs and like everybody around me was staring at me and shit it was so awkward.
 
how about weird things your parents say to you

convo between me and my mom when i got my new phone and i was testin out the video camera on it sitting in our kitchen

mom: what are doing? takin a picture of your mom? the milf lol

me: wut the fuck shut up

mom: haha so you can give it to your friends

me: thats fuckin gross peace out

ya it was weird shes fucked up

she also always tells me not to be home sats at 8 so her my dad can get it on(story behind that particular time) and we'll be booze cruisin our pontoon at our cabin and shell be like dont look back her me and your dad are gonna get freaky. my familys messed
 
well shit, i have two things that come to mind regarding my parents. One instance when i was young, and one that is pretty recent.

Aight so when I was 8, some kid at school referred to something as "jizz." I didn't have a fucking clue what "jizz" meant, so I took to it like glue. So another night I'm watching TV with my mom, thinking nothing of it. Some guy was like going crazy in the show (or just yelling, cant really remember) and I said "oh wow he is jizzing"

my mom is just looking at me. I didn't know why. Then I ask her as I am leaning over the couch "you know what jizz is right?" and she said "yes..." and nothing more.

I was 8 years old, but I remember. I hope she doesn't.

The more recent story happened over the summer. So I'm in europe with my girlfriend. Everything is great. Get to Italy, and bam, she gets dehydrated and shit. So as we work our way through the country, it fluctuates, getting worse, getting better (usually good in the morning). And occasionally I sent emails back home, and I also let them know about the little dehydration incident (that she ocassionally wanted to puke, etc.). Well when we get back several weeks later, after talking about many things, we got to the subject of the sickness stuff that lasted in Italy. My mom cracks something like "we thought she had morning sickness" and my girlfriend, also present, says (without really considering it) "yea thats what he [me] kept teasing me about over there" and my mom lit up and just laughed. I tried to downplay it and make it into nothing, but that was all in vain. God damn that was embarrassing.
 
Conversation while watching a meteor shower a few weeks ago on my deck with my mom:

Me making a stupid stoner joke: "Wanna smoke some weed and watch the meteor shower"

Mom: "Why? You got any stashed up in your room?"

*awkward silence*

Me: "Well what if I did?"

Mom: "Well then I might have to smoke. Fa shizzle?"

*awkward silence*
 
yeah my mom did that for me. pretty awkward. especially when ur dad finds them and asks what theyre for aAHAHAHAH ew.
 
when I was playing a video game and said 'I'm going to rape you up the ass you little whore' and my mom walked in right when I said it, she just looked at me weird and left.
 
not me but a very recent one- at my school theres been this whole thing with a girl about 15- few years below me- basically her boyfriend and his friend persuaded her to use a vodka bottle as a dildo, and videod it on his phone (on the weekend i think). the last few days he bluetoothed the video to evreryones phone in the year (i think in an assembly or summit), who sent it to all their friends, brothers, etc. someone also put the video onto the school network, so anyone could access it on their computer (teachers as well). all teachers were informed, quite a few had already seen it anyway, her parents were informed and so was the boyf's parents. 'apparently' the parents were shown the video when they were called into school to discuss it, and whether she will be excluded from school is in the balance. id say 90% of people know about it, i heard and im a sixth former whos not even based in the school. in perspective theres about 1700 people in the school, and more than half have seen the video.

if i was her i would have found a box somewhere and be sitting in it for a very long time...
 
Well, this wasn't embarrassing as much as it was funny. My parents walked in the house while I was watching Beerfest so I paused it while they were asking all the normal questions like "what did you eat" and "have you done your homework" and whatnot. so they both sit down thinking i'm watching something they'll like I tell them both they won't like it. So my step mom goes "okay, i'll go to my room and read then", and right as she gets up to leave I hit play on the movie and "Great Cam Cam" or whatever her name is goes "I've had plenty of things up my ass! But you'll get over it." They just started cracking up laughing and all my dad says is "I think i'm staying to watch this".
 
explaining what me and two friends were doing with five girls and an eighth in my jacuzzi when they came home early from a dinner party last summer.
 
My ex-gf walked me to my door cus I was so drunk. She opened the door and my mom was standing there but I had no idea didn't see her. So right next to where we hang up our coats is a little rack with fancy plates/china on it. I stumbled and knocked it over and just stood looking at the wall that it was on hysterically laughing. Then my ex-gf says hi to my mom. I just turned and walked past her into my room. Next morning my mom was like so how drunk were you?
 
Got a few since last time...

1. We had a going away party for all the college kids the last week before school started, and all the parents were upstairs while all the kids hung out downstairs in the basement. I arrived with this girl Maggie, who was wearing a backpack. One of the dads there says, "Hey Maggie, are we going to need to check that backpack to make sure there's nothing in there that shouldn't be?" And the guy's wife looks at her and says "Oh no, don't worry about it Maggie, just remember: only one bowl per person." Surprisingly, they all laughed, but I had no idea how to react to that...

Next up. I went down to CU Boulder over Thanksgiving break to visit some friends of mine from back east, and for the first two days one of the kids' parents were in town. This is the setup for two stories:

1. We were walking around campus with them and as they were leaving the next day and would probably only see him that morning, his mom asks "Alex, is there anything else you or your friends need for this next week before we head back to the hotel?" He kinda shrugs and mumbles that he thinks we're alright. His dad is kinda looking around and there are countless hot girls all over the place, so the dude pipes up "Looks to me like they're going to need some condoms!" His mom decides to play along and says "How many should we get 'em?" And he replies "From the looks of it, about a box each." His mom is just silenced, we're all trying not to laugh, and then she just turns to him and says, "Remember you have a daughter, too."

2. After they left we went back to the dorms and we decided to get annihilated... I mean that was the purpose of the trip. Unfortunately, we had no beer, only vodka, so we decided to play six-cup liquor pong. Half a shot per cup, and the winners had to take victory shots. Everyone got slayed, we ended up going through a little over a handle between four of us, and all of us puked at least once. The kid whose parents are there decides to throw up all over his hoodie, and pass out on the floor. Next morning the parents knock on the door to say goodbye to their kid, and so we're greeting them and they ask where Alex is... he stumbles out from behind the door caked in vomit, in his hair, on his hoodie... everywhere. His mom just kind of stares at him and eventually says "Well I guess I'll have to wait until Christmas break to give you a hug."
 
Not the greatest but I haven't seen my parents since I got here so there've been no opportunities for better...
 
not really embarrassing but here we go...

my dad has all these programs and shit to block porn and all that jazz. he also has this thing that logs what i type. i try to turn it off but cant get the password. eventually i go to the thing he has that logs the keystrokes(things you type) and voila that password is there. passwords for everything. his plan backfired so bad, i pwnt him without him even knowing. im such a genius

:)
 
oh and one time i was on msn and asked this guy to borrow his pipe. literally 5 mins later my dad calls me upstairs. he goes "so how many times have you smoked pot?" i go "none, what are you talking about" he goes "so why do u need this pipe from tony?" at this point im all red and speechless and appalled as to how he knows so fast. "i dont even know anybody named tony" he goes "thats bullshit tony was the other goalie on the hockey team" by then i know im owned.
 
i was outside waiting for our table at olive garden. my brother and my dad were going to go to a race soon and they get to drive their car on the track. i was like..

"yo dad you better fuckin tear shit up!"

and then everyone stared for a bit and i was like... wow. im sorry.
 
i threw away a used condom in my bedroom garbage, my dog then went and took it out of the garbage, walked downstairs and put it on my moms lap while she was watching tv...
 
when i was younger my brother rubbed snow in my face (snowjob)at a park - so later when we got in the van to leave the park im like mike im gonna give you a huge blowjob when we get home right in front of my dad I actually meant to say snow job ya it was pretty awkward
 
well the other day i asked my dad if seen my smokes it was asomes

and a few weekends ago we were at the camp for the night and mymom came out at like 7 in the mouring and there was liguer bottles every were and there was a bong on the table it was even better and i had a 40 of morgan under my head i was thye best

i find great funniness in this kind of shit
 
lol one time at dinner i was talking and my brother said something and i was rhyming to it and i said "clit" right in front of my mom.

preeetty awkward
 
um this one time i was walking down the hall way and i needed to go to the bathroom and the light wasnt on so i figured that no one was in there but i opened it up and my step dad was there taking a shitttt. it was really awkward never really brought it up again... so now when i go to take a shit i always lock the door.
 
thats kinda normal for me. come to an AFL match around here, especially the finals games in the members section and every second word screamed is fuck or shit or something like that.

same happens at school matches, usually ends up in a good punch up.
 
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