Morning wood...

I think he just gives you a friendly reminder not to forget your duties as a man for the rest of that day

We pay our debt sometimes.
 
it reminds you it needs a good scratch

Gravity sucks

Today I met my biggest challenge. I had to take a piss in a moving bus.
(My real ID is french_hucker)
 
I personally find it to be very annoying.

SkeeOrDie: I don't hate boarders, I hate fuckers, and 8-year olds that call everyone nigger face.
 
it happens if you dont whack off enough. the extreme of this is a wet dream... not pleasant s many of you know im sure.

sometimes I can, like, read peoples minds... its like I have Espn or something...

'Am I fighting to live or am I living to fight, what am I trying to see if there aint nothin in sight? why am I trying to give, if no one gives me a try? why am I dying to live if I'm just living to die? - Tupac Shakur

...Germans dicovered this city in 1804. They named it san diago... which in german, means giant whale vagina... -Ron burgundy
 
Every guy has at least one wet dream in their life. Don't deny it, because you did or you will have one.

----2ond in Command of DANSA-----

To Huck. v. The act of throwing oneself off of a cornice, cliff, rock, or any other thing that results in an attempt to fly.

If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit.

GW Award December 3, 2004
 
Ask the Doc.

Q:

What is 'morning wood' caused from?

A:

Presumably you are referring to morning penile erections that most men wake up with?

This is a combination of full bladder causing nerve stimulation resulting in a sometimes inconvenient erection, especially when you need to urinate, and sometimes related to autonomic nervous system response to dreams.

It is normal, an indication that there is no physiologic problem with the ability to get an erection, and goes away spontaneously shortly after waking up.

Sarah

Reppin' 907
 
I wack off 3-4 times a week and I invariably get a wood every morning. I havent had a wet dream since I learned how to masturbate. It's been a good 4 years. I was thinking about trying to go one month (40 days, 40 nights steeze), but I always fuck it up.

_________________________________________________

no,my parents didnt go to college, my dad has a grade 9 education and my mom is a stupid slut -lateralis

'I don't like people who take drugs... Customs men for example.'

 
I so hate thatdoes it go away when you get older?

impossible is really just a lack of determination

BATTLE RIDGE PRODUCTIONS

You can slide I'd Rather Fly
 
Makes sence with the bladder.

----2ond in Command of DANSA-----

To Huck. v. The act of throwing oneself off of a cornice, cliff, rock, or any other thing that results in an attempt to fly.

If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit.

GW Award December 3, 2004
 
According to Maxim, Testostrone levels are highest at 9am, so morning means lots of hormones

The smart man does not know everything, rather the smart man admits when he knows nothing.
 
wacking off too myuch makes your weiner small.

You gotta want that cow bell.
-CCR-
IAN
'everyday should be a good day to die'
-Dave Matthews
 
my morning wood is weird. it hits about an hour after i get up. usually on the drive to somewhere. so, i'm usually driving with a hard-on 1st thing in the morning, unless i somehow manage to distract my subconcious enough to not pitch a tent. like, when i'm eating and driving.

i'm fucked up.

______________________
- Ian

Home of the Rotating Signature
------------------------------
'My girlfriend would just hit me, and then keep going, or do it back, and gross me out.' - ScratchCobra66, on farting during sex.
------------------------------

~~Phunkin Phatt Phreerider~~
 
it works the night shift

I'm White?

My dad shot a walrus once. Seriously. Im like an eskimo now.
-friedcheese
 
Maybe because while you are asleep it spends all night resting against somewhat of a vagina shape, but in reality, turns out to be that little slit in your boxers, so it can't help but feel aroused.

-Landis Tanaka
 
Christ Bangor, thats some funny shit.

The thing I hate about morning wood is that you have to rest your head against the wall over the toilet to take a piss.....

--------------------

Since we were being extreme for so long I got really hungry so we went to Mcdonalds and got some chicken mcnuggets. -Skimack
 
^ So true about the pissing thing! It's the worst...you have to bend it down some, and bend over at the waist to compensate for your bonerage sticking strait up. Then as soon as I pee, boner goes right away.

Smuggs kicks ass

Fat skis, Tight trees
 
ya just walk it off, but it does suck like on vacation with the family in the smae hotel room, i cant really walk that off can i?

__________________

put on whatever makes you attractive

if it's not you then do it for the sake of fashion

your friends like a certain you

that's who you've got to be
 
the morning wood fairy, according to tv, which is wisdom incarnate...

---------------------------------------

Aujourd'hui pour être fun et bigarré, frais et bein formé, il te faut savoir à casser!
Le cassage est un art, ne le pourissez pas!

Là tu vois tu peux pas répondre: t'es amoli, déchiqueté, astiqué et complétement cassé!!!! a yé, t'es prêt a pleurer!

I'm an idiot, so don't mind me...Also, sarcasm is undetectable online...

I'm also a unique creation of God, just like everyone else...
 
Yeah for me I have to like piss at a 90 degree angle with morning wood. The ladies call me Captain Hook. ;)

----2ond in Command of DANSA-----

To Huck. v. The act of throwing oneself off of a cornice, cliff, rock, or any other thing that results in an attempt to fly.

If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit.

GW Award December 3, 2004
 
it's a pain

Minor Threat Trailer

Peter: When you go on a cruise you need to build up a base tan.

Chris: But I heard that in tanning booths you can get something called Melenoma

Peter: Don't worry son that's just fancy talk for sexified.

Member 957,647,789,468,952,001,657
 
davidh, you learned to beat off? its not that hard to beat off.... not like a college course is needed for it, you grab your penis and just start movin

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------'I want my penis to employ more people than Microsoft.' - Some kid
 
i hate pissing with a fucken boner

'dont jizzz in a hot tub youll have sperm the size of salmon in a week.'

-Astomp17

My time is winding down.............just wait for it
 
i always thought morning wood was just a way of, um, 'stretching'.

---------------------

Good Fun With A Hand Gun.

Future Canadian
 
hahaha bangor, that was great..davidh, no reason for you to be telling us how many times you wack off in a week, makes me feel uncomftorable man..

'Ever been hit in the head with a golf ball?'

-JF Cusson, making the argument that golf is an extreme sport

 
its true about the pussy shaped whole in your boxers...except for me its an actual pussy...so HA!

----------------------------------------

i nailed a chick on saterday night, well sunday morning. then at 815 her friend ran into the room say we are late for church. we need to go. haha i love catholic high school girls

-skiingpimp

im native *beats a drum*

-ontarioskiingsucks

and i'm the government. *beats native over the head with drum and kicks him off his land. serves you right motherfucking shitty drummer

-EastCoastPride

TMC, JC, S3p
 
ya man waking up

Joe is out of school didnt fucking ask for much Couldnt get a job the marines his last hope Down at the frontline with a gun not a toy Kill many men not asking what for Joe's family the comrades next to him Die one by one his luck is running out Joe wrote back home his parents unemployed The rich is fuckin laughing profits from the war Joe is off to die for another senseless war No arms no legs his mother cries at home Joey wears the flag so proud to fight for us And for a government that doesnt give a fuck
 
WHAT THE FUCK....

anyways:

ya waking up and your weiner is saying hi through your boxers is suprising and inconvient. one time my friend was trying to wake me up and he tore the sheets off me, it wasnt a good sight. and ya, pissing is annoying with a boner, and it is alot worse when you have to take a shit...

__

Joe is out of school didnt fucking ask for much Couldnt get a job the marines his last hope Down at the frontline with a gun not a toy Kill many men not asking what for Joe's family the comrades next to him Die one by one his luck is running out Joe wrote back home his parents unemployed The rich is fuckin laughing profits from the war Joe is off to die for another senseless war No arms no legs his mother cries at home Joey wears the flag so proud to fight for us And for a government that doesnt give a fuck
 
There's no college course for it? Damn, I guess I won't be doing the whole college thing after all.

Girls don't like sensitive guys. Since I don't treat women like objects, I have to treat objects like women.

'Wayne Gretzky? Isn't that the guy from Wayne's World?' -My infinitely wise cousin
 
god bless it, it gives me an incentive to get up in the morning.

Turtle: Cmon guys get dates, it'll be like Prom! Eric: So I guess that means you won't have a date
Turtle: Fuck you guys, I told you 10,000 fucking times, she had food poisoning!-Entourage HBO
 
1_morningBonerLogo.jpg'


pitchin' a tent

**************************************
triple it triple it trip-le-it 1! brrrrrrr cha cha cha cha cha cha cha

ba-dum-ching!
 
it would suck to have your mom come in and rip the blankets off you and expose your wood

'dont jizzz in a hot tub youll have sperm the size of salmon in a week.'

-Astomp17

My time is winding down.............just wait for it
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top