Misquoting Famous People

baethoven

baethoven

Active member
Recently a few friends and I have been making our facebook statuses ridiculously made up quotes, and have been quoting famous people saying them. It turns out people love it, and have joined in.
examples:
‎"I once used a series of leaves that I sewed together myself as a condom in an attempt to go green. We both got poison ivy. Best sex I've ever had."
~ Joseph Stalin
‎"It was amazing. One momentary lapse in judgement and I had ended up at another cheap motel, with yet another dead call girl lying next to me. This was the first time the thought that I had a problem crossed my mind." ~ Miles Davis
‎"They say marijuana is a gateway drug. I didnt believe it until I decided to pop a few acid tablets with the bros one night and ended up eating out a 14 year old deaf mute. Now I spend about 2500 a month on hard drugs....and herpes medication." -Franklin D. Roosevelt

So NS lets see some, cause I know ya'll are more creative than the lot of us.
 
”I mean, they lost both parents. That’s just careless.” – Zach Braff on orphans

”Don’t get me wrong, I love the idea of killing unwanted babies, it’s

just that the idea of letting women make a decision doesn’t sit well

with me.” – Zach Braff on abortion.

”I don’t like the term ‘black people’, I find it demeaning to those of

us that actually qualify as ‘people’.” – Zach Braff on being politically

correct

”Y’know, they always ask how many licks it takes to get to the center,

and I think I might be the only one who’s ever actually tried.” – Zach

Braff on 12 year old girls
 
"Bitches ain't nothing but tricks and hoes"

-Ghandi

"Some people want to watch the world puddi"

-Benjamin Franklin

Me and my friends tend to say those a lot
 
"I'm gonna go ahead and remix this tape that I made. Shit's about to be soo fire!"- Richard Nixon 1972

"hey lets have a whole bunch of countries send people to sit around and do nothing, but claim something is getting done. We'll call it the United Nations." Franklin Roosevelt 1945

"Damn, my hands really hurt." Jesus 33-36

 
"Well that was back in the 70's, when you could take LSD and publicly skullfuck a deer for all the cops cared" -George Clinton
 
"god damn that apple hurt" -Sir Issac Newton

"I hope the play is good tonight." Abraham Lincoln

"hell yeah it's a beautiful day, driving through Dallas with the top down." JFK

" damn, I'm craving some good cheap vodka. let's invade russia!" either Napoleon or Hitler

 
"You know, I'd really like to see some shit blow up. Things are so damn boring these days." - George W. Bush September 10, 2001
Too soon?
 
ThisThreadSucks.jpg
 
"Fuck the police" - Ghandi

"Holy fuck, I'm blazed as hell and this pond is fucking DOPE. Shit. There's a fish" -Henry David Thoreau

 
"Yes I'm aware Global Warming isn't real, but now I'm a household name in America and I was even featured on South Park. Nobody knows who George W. Bush is anymore. America, fuck yeah!" -Al Gore
 
"...but that wasn't the first time I was found half naked surrounded by a tribe of Norwegian dwarfs.. Nope not the first time.."
~ Bill Gates
 
" I think allowing gays into the army is a great idea, hell i might even join if that happens"-Glen Beck

"I keep one in the chamber if n#ggas be ponderin" -thomas Jeferson

"Bitch suck my dick" -Romeo

"I think that the US has to get its huge geficit undercontol before we face an even larger national dabt calamity"-RIcky Bobby
 
"Metaphorically I am made of chairs. It's a metaphor though. That means I'm not actually made of chairs." - Thom Yorke
 
"I don't write my stuff anymore, i just take it from my head." -Mozart
"You mean we actually blew up Japan? How wasted was I?" - Harry S. Truman
 
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