marijuana is terrible! god should kill every hippie stoner who's smokin down and causing global warming at some shitty-ass drum circle! i think weed is the devil, it's just awful! it makes you feel all funny inside, makes ya hungry, makes you want to fuck the shit out of the cute blonde down the hall... just terrible, awful things nobody should have to go through. this one time this criminal marijuana smoker, he was a bad person because he smoked weed, ya know... well, he went and shot someone because he was all high on weed and the drugs took over and made him do it. yeah, then he went and raped eight white girls at once all because of that devil doobie he'd been smokin. see! that's how weed created the war in Iraq and AIDS in Africa. i'm going to teach my kids to shoot people they see with weed. if they ever see anyone with a joint, i'm gonna tell them, shoot to kill. take that hippie sonofabitch right out. weed's the most awful terrible bad thing ever. it's even worse than sneezing and accidentally causing yourself to shit your pants in front of some super hot girl you're lookin to take home for a few hours before you leave her out on the street to catch a cab. shit's terrible. even Jesus said weed is bad. Matthew 24:18 says "and thou shall pass on grass or thy will kick thou's ass." and most importantly, it's the law! you should ALWAYS obey your government- they're ALWAYS right! if it's the law, you must abide. all you criminals should go to prison for the rest of your lives for the atrocities you've committed... blazing joints... raging bowls... ripping bongs. you're all going to hell, the whole lot of you. goddamn potheads causing all the problems in the world- terrorism, cancer, Bush...
and i'm stoned.