Lines from Zoolander

richard gere is a hero of mine. sting. sting would be another hero. the music he's made over the years, i dont listen to it, but the fact he keeps making it I respect that.-hansel

cool story hansel- the twin dwarfs

hansel- So I'm rappelling down Mount Vesuvius when suddenly I slip, and I start

to fall. Just falling, ahh ahh, I'll never forget the terror. When

suddenly I realize "Holy shit, Hansel, haven't you been smoking Peyote

for six straight days, and couldn't some of this maybe be in your

head?"

derek- and?

Hansel- I was! ive never even been to mount Vesuvius before!
 
I'm a hand model, mama. A finger jockey. We think differently than the face and body boys. We're a different breed.

also: Merman pops *cough* merman
 
I'm pretty sure there's a lot more to life than being really, really,

ridiculously good looking. And I plan on finding out what that is.

Moisture is the essence of wetness, and wetness is the essence of beauty.

Wait a minute. I might just have an idea. They'll be looking for us at Maury's right? But they won't be looking for..not us.

matilda:

I became...

hansel:

What?

matila:

Bulimic.

derek:

You can read minds?

Mugatu is so hot right now he could take a crap, wrap it in tinfoil,

put a couple fish hooks on it and sell it to Queen Elizabeth as

earrings.

Uhh Earth to Matilda, I was at a day spa. Day, D-A-I-Y-E. Okay?

 
derrick- why do you hate models matilda?

Matilda- honestly

Hansel - yes

Matilda- I think there vain, stupid, and incredibly self-centered

Hansel- I totally agree with you............ but how do you feel about male models?

 
- So why male models? Think about it, Derek. Male models are geneticallyconstructed to become assassins... They're in peakphysical condition... They can gain entry to the mostsecure places in the world. And most important of all,models don't think for themselves. - They do as they're told.- That is not true. Yes it is, Derek. Yeah. Think about any photo shootyou've ever been on. You're a monkey, Derek! Dance, monkey,in your little spangly shoes! Mash your cymbals, chimpy!Dance, Derek, dance! Good point. But if this has been going onfor so long, Mugatu... He's just a punk-ass errand boy... working for an internationalsyndicate of fashion designers. You do a little background checkon your Mr. Mugatu. You'll find he sold his soul to thedevil for a shot at the big time. But why male models?
Are you serious? I just...I just told you that a moment ago.
 
wow.. why didnt it make it skip lines..
ok basically its this

derek- but why male models?

jp prewitt- are you serious? i just told you that a moment ago
 
matilda: in 7th grade, i was always the fat kid and---

zoolander: ew!

matilda: i turned bulimic

hansel: you could read minds?!

zoolander (at the funeral): they were like brothers to me, and not only in the way that black people say it

hansel: the files are INSIDE the computer!

 
Do you understand that the world does not revolve around you and your

do whatever it takes, ruin as many people's lives, so long as you can

make a name for yourself as an investigatory journalist, no matter how

many friends you lose or people you leave dead and bloodied along the

way, just so long so you can make a name for yourself as an

investigatory journalist, no matter how many friends you lose or people

you leave dead and bloodied and dying along the way?
 
I'm pretty sure there's a lot more to life than being really, really, ridiculously good looking. And I plan on finding out what that is.
 
I thought you were going to tell me what a bad eugoogalizer I am.

A what?

A eugoogalizer. One who speaks at funerals. Or did you think I'd be too stupid to know what a eugoogly was?

 
one time i was at this riley armstrong [obscure canadian musician/comedian] concert and out of the blue he was like.

damn. i wish i had a little guy here to tune my guitar. and every time i told a joke, even if no one laughed, he'd be like cool story hansel.

and i'd be like thanks olaf.

i laughed really hard.
 
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