Lift Stories

one time when i was at whistler a tree fell on to the lift and detrailed it, i'm pretty sure a couple people fell to their deaths. it was pretty funny.
 
it was a rainy day at my local small mountain and after hot boxing my friends car and eating 2 delicius chicken finger platers at the cafeteria we went up to the park. an idea that seemed like a good idea at the time was to whip wet snowballs at the biggest gapers we could find. My targer, a middle aged overwieght, first time snowboarder struggleing to make it down the park. My target was easy to hit and right underneath me. I threw and made contact with his face, but not just his face, i hit him in the eyes, knocking off his glasses(yes no goggles here) making him swerve into a flat bar setup just to his right. as he laid on the ground my entire chair was laughing harder than any of us had laughed in a while. Looking back on it, it was a dick move, but also very funny.
 
it was about 8 years ago at some small mountian in PA, and i was riding up the chairlift and i look down to see this big fat guy with like a yoduler's outfit on and the hat and evreything, eating a sandwhich while skiing down! one of the funniest things ive evre seen
 
It was another buisy spring day at Sugarloaf. My friend, Ashley and I decided to take the Double Runner, an old 2 person chair lift that is pretty fast for an old lift that doesn't detach. There was a huge line, but finaly we got on it and 1/2 the way up, we decided to shit on the seat, so we took off our coats and used them as a shield, so that the people behind us wouldn't see us. My friend had diareah. Some unlucky people, must not have seen all the shit on the seat or saw it and didnt have enough time to react to it and sat in it.
 
i was skiing by myself and had my music on, and turned it off for one second and i hear the guy sitting next to me say "and she shit on my dick" and my music went back on.
 
I think they were doing that to see how loud your music was before talking about private financial matters and rashes.
 
i always get in the single line when race event are going down at my mountain and tell dirty horrible lies about things like that bode miller is my cousin or i used to be a champion ski racer then i quit to be a professional park skier. Then this one kid goes

"Are you one of thoese hot doggers that noodles around on roseary(the traverse run to get to the race course), that is silly, you think your a snowboarder."

Then i pulled the classic scare the shit out of someone by not pulling the safty bar up untill the last second because he insisted on having it down, then i skied over his skis.
 
i remember this one time i had to sit through this guy and his girlfriend talking about their "plans" later that night.

and another time these guys were talking about some nutcase that went huge off a cliff earlier in the day during the big mountain comp (me)
 
In Åre 2 seasons ago, at the 6 place lift, one of the adults accompanying the group slipped on the moving mat and fell face first. Normally not that big a deal, but she was prrrrreeeettttyy big, and the chair was immediatley behind her when she fell. The chair goes over her and gets stuck on top of her. They had to stop the lift, and it took her 1 or 2 minutes to squeeze out of the stranglehold of the chair...

Otherwise, in Vemdalen on a t-bar last year, a kid was showing off right in front of me, dragging his ski on the snow, doing caribous, and swerving back and forth. On one of his caribous he caught and edge and fell over. So he's in the caribou position, both legs pointing outwards, being dragged backwards up the lift. He doesn't let go, and get to the top unable to straighten his legs out...

Or i guess the millions of pile ups i've seen when a novice snowboarder comes off the lift, falls over, taking her friend down, them not moving, and the next batch coming right up behind them and crashing aswell... Ahhh, the Parisians in the Alps, priceless.
 
Not a CHAIR lift story, but a story indeed...

Alright, so I was at Homewood up at Tahoe a season or two ago. They had the Tbar running that day, and we rode it a few times. Anyway, like the final time we rode it, there was this person in front of us. We couldnt tell the age really because they were sorta short and were wearing a mask (it was cold as fuck). The person seemed to not really know how to ride the Tbar and started veering off to the right side, where the other tbars were coming down... all of a sudden, the guy just whipped out to the right and slammed into the Tbar.. he stayed up though.. and stayed on the same path.. then he hit the next Tbar, and the next. finally he veered off to the left, only to veer off waaay too far and fell off the lift.. right into the path of an oncoming snowboarder who thwacked right into the person... It was almost like watching an episode of the 3 stooges.. it was just ridiculusly funny slapstick kinda shit.
 
I was riding at N*, which is full of gaypers, and I get on the lift with three little fags, who start throwing snowballs at ramdom people. They hit this fat ugly chick, and then the lift stopped right above her. I was like oh shit, then her boyfriend started yelling at the chair and throwing snow at it. He hit me and I just flipped a bitch. I cused him the fuck out, spit all over him, and challenged him to a fight. I went down to kick his ass, but he rode away. Fuck little kids, and fuck gayper snowboarders who protect ugly bitches.
 
I'm from creek too but I don't remember a lift going over the lot.

My best friend has jerked off on the lift, and pissed off it. I myself jumped off on one that goes like 2mph and is only about ten feet high. I'v also got jerked off by this girl at another mt.
 
One time while getting off my jacket sleeve got got caught on the lift and when i whent to get off i got stuck. I was dangling and flalling all over the place and then the sleeve ripped and i fell, idnt get hurt but i am still get made fun of because of it.
 
This one time I was about 5 chairs from getting off of the lift and a guy in front of my had his poles resting on the bar. The poles loops were around his wrists pretty tight. So they come up to get off and his friends lifted the bar pretty fast and his poles got wedged down the side and he couldn't get his hands out to get them free, or get them out to get off. His friends seemed like a bunch of dicks to him because they just laughed and got off and he fell and got dragged around the pulley wheel on the ground then started going down the hill and they stopped the lift. When the chair operator was going down to help him down his pole loops gave away and he fell into the snow. All I could do was laugh. I kept laughing after it started and almost forgot to lift the saftey bar.

-aaron
 
well one time i was on this madddd sketch 3 chair and my friend john( snowboarder) was wearing my pack, with camera and shit in it so the time comes to get off and somehow the pack like froze or got stuck and he could get off but he was like half way off, and getting dragged under the chair, i was like shitting my pants and swaering at the lift opperator at this point to "shut the fucking shit down u fucking idiot my motherfucking freind is fucking gunna die u fucker" yah. well he gets to the shut off bar thing and it DOESNT shot down, now im goin nuts

well the guy shuts it off while my friend john is in the saftey net about to drop off a 25 foot drop head first

yeah.... thats my lift story

o and alot of pow days jumping off
 
i think hes talking about the double chair thats is down that trail pass the cabriolet thats almost never in use at vernon, it goes by the condos, but ive pissed out the killington gondo, i had to go sooo bad so i did, and thats about it
 
this one time, me and my friend were riding up the lift at night and this guy was skiing below us. Me and my friend decided it'd be funny if we made a sound like we were haucking a loogie but not really spitting on the guy. So my friend and i go "haaaauuukk pteew" and the guy below us buys it and he thinks we spit on him. So he rips his hat off and yells " you wanna come down here and spit on my again you little fucks"? And my friend yells back "Fuck you asshole, do you see any spit on your head? NO, because i was faking it fuck head"
 
Im in Vail and im going up one of the quads that runs along the nastar course with my brother. So were are going up and we look down at the T bar that is bringin people to the top of the course and this little kid fell on the t bar and somehow his ski and his pole hooked onto it and he is getting dragged on his back all the way up. He was screaming and crying the whole way it was soooo funny.
 
^haha we always try to see if we can get every chair # in the whole season but your only aloud to get it in order. so if you get 1 first it counts but if you get 53 before 2 it doesnt count. We never get past 30 =[
 
When we were at alta there was an old couple on ski blades stranded in the cliffs under the supreme lift.
 
I was behind this little boy on the t-bar at Sugarloaf and there is an intersection, where the t-bar trail intersects a skiing trail and this huge snowboarder comes flying past the slow sign on the skiing trail and takes out this like 9 year old boy on the t-bar. It was halarious.
 
a fun game if you are alone:

singles line yourself into sketchy looking group of tourists.

make sure you are wearing ridiculously large headphones.

pretend they are on.

pretend you dont hear them talking.

listen to their outrageous stories of group sex, blacked out nights in casinos, and how their kid doesnt know they are adopted.

and these are samplings of amazing stories i have heard.

my fave lift story though?

some jackass dad just about knocked his little girl over while trying to get her to be quiet in the lift line.

then he dropped his pole while getting on the lift.

he realized he dropped it, but for whatever reason was too concerned with being an asshole to his daughter who apparently was having a hard time learning to ski.

i was recruited to carry the pole on the lift.

instead of giving the asshole his shitty ass rental pole, i dropped that shit in a gnarly patch of rocks and told the dude i didnt even see him drop his pole, but that he should wait at the lift until it gets to the top.
 
yeah 2 weekends ago in Zermatt the racer lift broke so all the racer gapers came into the park lift. And they all wanna be first.

So u got 1 gate, and a million expensive race skis pointing into that gate trying to get in first, and me, on my old rail skis. So I just grabbed that fucking gate, jumped up, and grinded really slowly over their expensive new race skis. And then they cried.

Oh and one time my friend almost died because the lace of his backback got stuck between the wooden bars an old chairlift. He was hanging down from his backpack as the chair was heading back down off a cliff, and the fucking lift attendant was sleeping. We freaked out we thought our friend was going to die but we got to the lift attendant fast enough to reverse the lift.
 
haahah no just incredibly bored, our home mtn is shit and the reason we count like that is because it takes about a minuite and a hlaf to get from the top of the mountain to the lift again.
 
this threads mad funny...cant think of anything to add though. one time i got on the number 50 golden chair at mount snow thats probly the most exciting thing thats happened to me haha
 
haha me and a couple friends went out...im alot better than then and it was about time to get to the condo...so we skiing down and im like this way and my one friend goes the other way...so he ends up on the wrost face of the mountain so he goes and takes the lift up so he can come back down the right way so hes kind of rocking the life a little cause hes impatient and all of a sudden the lift stops and he didnt have the safety bar down and he had a nice 30 foot drop haha...he got back to the condo about 2 hours later in an ambulance....good times
 
me and my friends were on a triple nd we would play chicken to see who would get off last and we stayed on until the turn to go back down so we all jump off but i was on the right side and the lift was turning right so i got hit in the head
 
i dont have a good story but i a good quote. some older guy like way over 50 was talking to us about skiing and these are some of his quotes.

"Well you dont see me wearing one of those fag bags"

"...but im not the gnarly skier with a beard a big ass black dog on my back"
 
at sunshine i witnessed the three funniest crashes on consecutive chair rides. there first was a 10 year old who straightlined wawa and hits this little roller, overshoots it and double ejectes so hit face. Then on the next chair there was this guy just fricken doign crazyy slalom turns down the hill when he lost and edge and just flew for a good 20 feet onto his back, and then to make things better, we got on the chair with two drunk austrailians who were hilarious and we saw a skiboarder trying to skis wtich, when he hit the same roller as that little kid, and just totalt ate shit and rolled into the trees.

^^^

Thats not really funny, but 3 in a row it was just amazing if you were there.

also at canyon ski hill in red deer, i was getting off the lift just by keeping my legs straight and the cahir pushing me up. but i didnt remember that only works on high speed quads. well anyways by the time i realized what was happening the cahir was pushed backto my shoulders and as i skied down the ramp it smoked my friend in the head AND stole his hood from his coat. we got in shit for that.
 
one time at my local mountain me and two buddies got on chair 99. And i was sitting on the far left and we put the bar down, and i was resting my hand on the side of it. And I looked over at my hand, and underneat, completely coating the bar, was what looked like a bucketload of frozen semen. I screamed and pushed myself as far right as possible up against my mates. I have no idea what it was, definitely not just ice. It had this like, lumpy curdled look, and was kinda off white. I kept telling myself that maybe someone had a monstrous sneeze and blew 5 pounds of mucus on the side of the chair, but it just really looked like someone jacked off a rhino onto the lift bar.
 
one time me and my friend were on a six pack at stratton and thiese dudes were talking about how he fucked a squirel
 
really funny. i was with Brad (jedi...) and we went into singles at wachusett. We get paired up with these french people who obviously were tourists. For some reason we couldnt stop laughing and since we both were on the outside we had to like cover ou mouths from laughing outload. not sure why it was so funny but it was pretty memorable.
 
that REALLY hurts.

happened to me once, few years ago.

my bindings released and then flipped up and hit me in the small of my back. bruised quite nicely.

on the summit chair at buller (australia) during the interschools a couple of years ago...saw some massive stack between a little race clubber, and a parent.

parent was doing nice turns down, race club kid was going all out down the hill, needless to say they collected.

race club kid broke a rib or 3, collar bone and arm plus concussion.

parent got some bruises, think they did a rib aswel.
 
One time at Blue Mountain me and my buddy were riding the chair on Sat/Sun morning or something. We saw this total yeti with his jacket open hit a 10 ft jump strait on... and immedietely was flying through the air on his back. When he crashed (he seemed to be ok) his 10 year old skis poped off.. and the break didn't kick in. The ski continued to go down the terrain park, it even went right passed Dough Bishop as he was working on a rail. He just looked at it and had the biggest "WTF?" look on his face.
 
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