Listen, so its hard, lifes hard, live with it.  If your 19.... are you a man, are you responsible?  If you cant make some decisions you better get your fucking shit together.  I have worked on a farm my whole life.  And got a second job when I turned 18. I am now 19.  I bought my own car, pay my own insurance, pay my bills, phone, food, living expenses, AND school.  I have 3 different bank accounts, that have my own money that I have worked for myself, and recently took out a retirement IRA account.  Quit bitching about how hard shit is and do it.  Don't give me this "I dont know what I want to do"  Grow up you ARE 19.