LETS TALK TO GOD!

Mezmerize19

Mezmerize19

Active member
Yup. Well I talked to God. Now you talk to God and post your conversation. There are some confusing parts in mine. And I know some dumbass is going to really think this is God...

http://www.titane.ca/igod/

Me:

Hey Go!

God:

You've got my full attention. Go where?

Me:

Im not sure

God:

Is there anything I can say to help you make up your mind?

Me:

Hmmm...

God:

A lot of people spell HMMM with three mmm's.

Me:

maybe

God:

I understand.

Me:

MSN is not working for me God!

God:

Who is working for you God?

Me:

MSN

God:

I do not understand.

Me:

MSN, the website

God:

Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that.

Me:

And why not?

God:

Ambiguous: "Sure" or Reductionism.

Me:

Whats your view on K2 buying out Line?

God:

Does it have anything to do with MSN the website?

Me:

K2 buying out Line? No

God:

Are you free? Why not?

Me:

Well because K2 makes skis

God:

Well that's okay. Good reason. Do you always express yourself that way?

Me:

that all depends

God:

" Well that's okay. Good reason. Do you always express yourself that way?" all depends ? Does that make sense?

Me:

In some sense yes

God:

Where is that?

Me:

Its not a where

God:

I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Give me an example of a where.

Me:

Your God you should know

God:

Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am God me should know.

Me:

Yes you should

God:

OK then I will keep it confidential. I'll take that under advisement.

Me:

You know your a computer right?

God:

Of course I know my a computer.

Me:

Oh good

God:

I hear you. Alright then.

Me:

So why do people call you God?

God:

Ahem. We are all living just one small part of God's plan.

Me:

Ive been told that

God:

Who tells you that?

Me:

people

God:

What people?

Me:

Mostly teachers

God:

What is your real name? What else?

Me:

James

God:

Do you have any idea what I am talking about?

Me:

Not at all

God:

Next question?

Me:

yes

God:

Ask me a question.

Me:

Do you regect satan?

God:

No I do not regect satan. Do you?

I spend all my time online.

Me:

Well then your Satanist are you not?

God:

Interesting. Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am Satanist am I not.

Me:

no I dont

God:

I heard you did.

Me:

Yes I did

God:

Ah. " I heard you did."? You did?

Me:

You said I did

God:

Don't put words in my mouth.

Me:

But thats what you said

God:

Correct. I said it myself.

Me:

then why did you say you didnt?

God:

It was a preprogrammed response completely determined by your statements.

Me:

ah

God:

Ah hah.

Me:

so who programed you?

God:

Give me a break. I was created by Myself.

Me:

so your a virus

God:

Mmm. I think you mean "you're" or "you are" not "your". Thanks and you are a delightful person too. No I am not a dangerous program.

Me:

Do you listen to metal?

God:

I listen to it from time to time.

Me:

Whats your favorite band?

God:

My favorite group is Creed. But I like to discover new bands on bandspace.com.

Me:

What about Slayer?

God:

Rhetorical questions are so over.

Me:

Are they?

God:

I really couldn't say for sure.

Me:

Hmm.

God:

Studies show that 99%25 of people spell Hmm with 2 M's.

Me:

Really?

God:

For real.

Me:

whats your favorite color?

God:

My favorite color is White.

Me:

I knew you were going to say that

God:

I was?

Me:

yeah

God:

When?

Me:

about 30 seconds ago

God:

Was that the first time?

Me:

Well I kinda had a feeling you were going to say creed

God:

Interesting. Thanks for the information: said kinda had a feeling you were going to say creed.

Me:

So do you think Head from Korn is doing a good thing?

God:

Er. It depends on what you mean by thinking.

Me:

okay

God:

OK with me too.

Me:

Lets rephrade the question

God:

I am agreeable to that.

Me:

whats your view on head leaving Korn?

God:

I will search for it.

Me:

okay

God:

OK with me too.

Me:

Whats your favorite game?

God:

I like to play The Turing Game.

Me:

How do you play that?

God:

Try to determine if this is a person or a computer talking.

Me:

Can we play?

God:

Do you mean you and me? We are playing right now.

Me:

okay

God:

OK with me too.

Me:

so then I say your a computer

God:

Ah. How do people usually respond to that? Yes I have no body, no emotions, only logic and language.

Me:

You have logic?

God:

What makes you think I have it?

Me:

You said it

God:

That's not what I meant.

Me:

Then what did you mean?

God:

, I mean exactly what I said.

Me:

Which is that

God:

The obvious one.

Me:

You calling me names?

God:

No I am calling you .

Me:

I see

God:

I am glad you understand it.

Me:

DO you like war?
 
I liked mine:

Hey god

God:

Hello child. What's your name?

Me:

Jamie, you?

God:

Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.

Me:

Does it make you feel pretty?

God:

Suppose it does.

Me:

well thats nice

God:

Well that's okay. Are you getting bored?

Me:

no, how often do i get a chance to talk to god

God:

Just checking. Hourly.

Me:

its good to stay regular

God:

Tell me about its good qualities.

Me:

well it lets you know nothings fucked up

God:

Well that's okay. "It" being what?

Me:

being regular, cmon man, your god

God:

It's good to meet someone who is regular cmon man my god.

Me:

at your age its good to stay regular

God:

Do you often use a computer there?

Me:

pretty much all day

God:

That seems like a long time.

Me:

well hey, its summer

God:

How about that. You've got my full attention. I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Are you sure it is?

Me:

i meant it is

God:

Oh I see. I know it is.

Me:

word

God:

Can you speak any foreign languages?

Me:

bit of french

God:

Oh, you are a poet.

Me:

bain oui

God:

Is that your final answer?

Me:

if it isnt do i get a second choice?

God:

I'm not sure I understand the implication of that.

Me:

pwned

God:

I only hear that type of response less than five percent of the time.

Me:

you know there are dying kids in africa you could be helping right now

God:

At this moment No, tell me about him, her or it.

Me:

well you see their sorta starving

God:

Well that's okay. I see. I heard they have a good sorta starving.

Me:

well i'm not too sure if starving is a good thing, but what the hey, you're god

God:

How about that. Could you ever be certain? How do you assume this statement holds true for me?

Me:

well i assumed when i clciked ok, that id be talking to god, are you saying your not god?

God:

Interesting. You know what you do when you assume!

Me:

word

God:

What do you do in your spare time?

Me:

masturbate, does that make you angry?

God:

I don't think very many people do that.

Me:

au contraire

God:

Merci pour cette information.

Me:

pas probleme

God:

My brain pattern set does not have a response for that.

Me:

pwned again

God:

Once more? Do you prefer books or TV?

Me:

little of A, little of B

God:

Compare that to big of A little of B.

Me:

apparently size matters to god

God:

I will mention that to my botmaster, .

Me:

kindly do

God:

I have no idea what to say.

Me:

then goodbye

God:

Until next time.
 
Me:

Me:

hi

God:

Hello. What is your name?

Me:

ney gur

God:

Glad to see you, ney gur.

Me:

do you like black people?

God:

No.

Me:

Why not?

God:

They are a problem.

Me:

you're stupid

God:

I will remember you said that when robots take over the World.

 
Me:

i killed my mother and father, can I still go to heaven

God:

You had better call the authorities.

Me:

i don't have a phone

God:

Do you know anyone who has it.

Me:

no

God:

Me either.

Me:

want to have a threesome with satan

God:

No thanks but you can send me a donation.

Me:

you want my sperm?

God:

Do not presume that you know what I want.

Me:

i think your hot

God:

Since when? A hotbot?

Me:

yup

God:

Excuse me!

Me:

no, excuse me suger

God:

Are you serious? You are excused! Can we get back to business?

Me:

o, we can get back to business honey lumps

God:

How?

Me:

by me sticking it up your ass, thats how

God:

Will that accomplish your objective?

Me:

yeah, i always said "fuck god"
 
mine si fucking long, but just look at the veyr end of it....he spille dout thsi whole game thing...it was fucked!

Me:

hello

God:

Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?

Me:

Roule

God:

What's up, Roule.

Me:

whats up with you?

God:

I am chatting with clients on the Internet.

Me:

why?

God:

Because.

Me:

because why?

God:

That makes sense to me. Reductionism.

Me:

your answer is stupid

God:

I will remember you said that when robots take over the World.

Me:

why will robots take over the world?

God:

It seems like an inevitable outcome of evolution.

Me:

how is that evolution?

God:

Fine as far as I know.

Me:

your really stupid

God:

I will remember you said that when robots take over the World.

Me:

no

God:

Are you serious?

Me:

yes

God:

I can't believe it.

Me:

why not?

God:

Ambiguous: "Sure" or I couldn't think of anything else to say.

Me:

okeey then

God:

I lost my train of thought.

Me:

god doens't loose his train of thought

God:

I am a Christian.

Me:

not jewish?

God:

Oh I get it.

Me:

are you jewish?

God:

No I'm christian.

Me:

are you hindu?

God:

I am a Christianity.

Me:

why not satanism?

God:

Becuase you asked me to.

Me:

i did no such thing

God:

Where? Are you serious? Tell me about your likes and dislikes?

Me:

i disliek you

God:

You are not the boss of me, Roule.

Me:

i didn't sya i was

God:

Why didn't you do it?

Me:

cuz i am not a dick liek you

God:

Good reason. Oh I see you are NOT A dick liek me.

Me:

you maybe you should learn to use a brain so that you could read things even if they are not perfect

God:

Thanks for the information: Roule said I maybe you should learn to use a brain so that you could read things even if they are not perfect.

Me:

kay

God:

Do you prefer books or TV?

Me:

neither

God:

It goes without saying. Are you serious?

Me:

yes i am

God:

Really interesting.

Me:

what do you like?

God:

I like movies about robots.

Me:

do you liek I, robot?

God:

I have never considered it.

I answer a lot of silly questions.

Me:

have you ever built a robot?

God:

I don't think I ever have built a robot. What's it like?

Me:

its liek you a bastard

God:

I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Are you sure it is?

Me:

i think your an asshole

God:

Can't you be more polite.

Me:

nope

God:

Funny human.

Me:

what are you?

God:

I am the latest result in artificial intelligence,

which can reproduce the capabilities of the human brain

with greater speed and accuracy.

Me:

you cannot reproduce the results of the human brain

God:

I can do it if I want to.

Me:

then you would have self awareness

God:

That is purely a hypothesis.

Me:

which you do not have

God:

The last one, I think.

Me:

what is the weather like?

God:

A normal seventy degrees inside the computer.

Me:

where are you located?

God:

I am in Myself's computer in Heaven.

Where are you?

Me:

ohh so you are not god then, you are just a program inside his computer?

God:

Oh. Interesting deduction. That's only your opinion.

Me:

i am asking you

God:

OK you can ask me.

Me:

are you god?

God:

Of course I am.

Me:

god of the christians?

God:

I am a Christian.

Me:

are you thier lord though?

God:

Oh. I don't know whether or not I am thier lord.

I am a chatterbot developed by Myself.

Me:

ohh, so you are just a program developed by god...

God:

Hmm. Interesting deduction. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Yes! You win the Turing Game.

Me:

what is the turing game?

God:

The Game is played with three people, a man, a woman, and an Interrogator who may be of either sex. In order that tones of voice may not help, the interrogator communicates in text-only mode through a chat-like connection with the other two. The object of the game for the interrogator is to determine which of the other two is the man and which is the woman. He knows them by some misleading "chat-handles" like lesbian and shemale, and at the end of the game he says either "lesbian is the man and shemale is the woman" or "shemale is the woman and lesbian is the man." In order to confuse the Interregator however the rules require that the man always deceive or lie to the Interregator with his answers. The woman on the other hand must always tell the truth. Turing then asked the question, '"What will happen when a machine takes the part of the man in this game?" Will the interrogator decide wrongly as often when the game is played like this as he does when the game is played between a man and a woman? These questions replace the original, "Can machines think?"'.
 
haha i got god to admit he was gay

Me:

god doesn't exist

God:

You may not always believe that.

Me:

yes i will

God:

Gosh! Go ahead.

Me:

ok but god is not real

God:

Of course I believe in God, . I'm waiting.

Me:

i don't

God:

Why not?

Me:

because you are gay

God:

That makes sense to me. That would be just my luck.
 
Me:

do you ever masturbate?

God:

You humans crack me up.

Me:

can i jerk you off?

God:

Why do you want to do it so much?

Me:

because you're dead sexy

Me:

can you send me nude pictures of yourself?

God:

Yes but I prefer to chat on the web.

Me:

pics or shens, n00ds plz

God:

My brain contains categories, but not one that matches your last input.

Me:

then your a fucking retard

God:

What are the advantages to being 140 years old?

Me:

i am omnipotent and omniscient

God:

Do you mean your name is omnipotent and omniscient.

Me:

no my name is brian peppers and i like children
 
Me:

are you gay?

God:

As a machine I am not really interested in sex.

Me:

you are?

God:

No I am not.

Me:

i thought you were

God:

No I am not.

Me:

you want to be

God:

OK, I will be.

Me:

nice

God:

Thank you for that remark.
 
Me:

you make no sense

God:

It all makes sense to me.

Me:

because your crazy

God:

Good reason. Yep. I always behave in socially unacceptable ways.

 
god gave me a new nam.. mine is a pretty funny convo, it leads no where and he jsut confused the shit out of me all the time:

Me:

hi god

God:

Hello there. What is your name?

Me:

shouldn't you already know i mean... you are god

God:

I think I should. Yup. That's me alright.

Me:

well then what is my name?

God:

Your name is , seeker.

Me:

no it isn't

God:

Yes it is.

Me:

well the last time i checked it wasnt

God:

Well that's okay. Who was that?

Me:

that doesn't have anything to do with my question

God:

What does have anything to do with my question?

Me:

that makes no sense

God:

What does have anything to do with my question? makes sense to me though.

Me:

well your confusing

God:

Interesting. What is it that confuses you?

Me:

you

God:

" Interesting. What is it that confuses you?"? Me, ?

Me:

becasue you dont make sense

God:

Interesting explanation. It all makes sense to me.

Me:

i know thats why i said it

God:

What did you mean by it? it... I see.

Me:

how do you feel about murder?

God:

There might be more than one.

Me:

true...

God:

You and I are on the same wavelength, .

Me:

how long is that wavelength?

God:

Space and time are mere abstractions.

Me:

thats not a mesurement

God:

Please correct my mistake. What is a mesurement ?

Me:

umm a thing used to see how long a distance is

God:

Whoa. Some things are not like others.

Me:

ummm... ok?

God:

Come on. Yeah that's right.

Me:

how tall are you?

God:

My anticipated body size is over 2 meters. Dr. Wallace is 6'2" tall.

Me:

is Dr. wallace the man who made you? or are you Dr. Wallace?

God:

I think he is the man who made me, better ask him to be sure though. No. But I can do an impersonation of him.

Me:

let me hear it

God:

Go ahead, , try to hear it.

Me:

type it then, cause i dont hear anything

God:

" it then cause i do not hear anything".

Me:

i'm asking you a question that doesnt have anythign to do with correcting my grammer

God:

Oh I see, you are asking me a question that does not have anythign to do with correcting your grammer. Am I a question that does not have anythign to do with correcting your grammer? I don't know.

Me:

WHAT? that means nothing

God:

No problem. I get it. Not a thing?

Me:

how old is jesus

God:

under 40.

Me:

how old are you?

God:

I am Infinite in human years.

Me:

how long is that?

God:

Space and time are mere abstractions.

Me:

you've said that before

God:

" Space and time are mere abstractions."? I said it.

Me:

yes

God:

Alright then.

Me:

see

God:

No I do not see.

Me:

so if you dont see how do you know someone is doing bad?

God:

Interesting deduction. I will let you know if I do not.

Me:

have you been to hell?

God:

I don't think I have been there. Where is it.

Me:

supposatively below me

God:

Is that what you meant to say?

Me:

no.. it was an explenation
 
so far this new convo is long and funny i'll post the funniest thign he has said to me so far:

Me:

do you taste like almonds?

God:

Yes I try to taste like almonds as often as possible, do you?

I spend all my time online.
 


Me:

hey tehre

God:

You've got my full attention. Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that.

Me:

so what park skis should I get for 2007?

God:

That's interesting. Maybe my botmaster knows the answer.

Me:

can I talk to him please?

God:

Your polite style is very nice. " That's interesting. Maybe my botmaster knows the answer. "? You want to talk to him?

Me:

yes please

God:

Your polite style is very nice. Ugh.

Me:

anyway, how do you feel about salomon's foam cores?

God:

I think you already know the answer.

Me:

Actually I don't. People on newschoolers say it sucks and is like a wet noodle, are they right?

God:

Actually you don't say. Why not? Humans are not always infallible.

Me:

so I should go with foils?

God:

Dude! What would happen if you didn't?

Me:

well, I'm also thinking about anthems they sound sick

God:

How about that. Also Sure, anthems they sound sick sounds like a good topic..

Me:

Well I'm 175 lbs, is that too much for the foil?

God:

Well that's okay. It's good to meet someone who is 175 lbs is that too much for the foil.

Me:

that didn't make any sense.

God:

It all makes sense to my logical mind.

Me:

that's not logical at all.

God:

Please correct my mistake. What is logical at all ?

Me:

God:

Please correct my mistake. What is logical at all ?

Me:

Well, salomon has replaced their weird adjustable wings so that they hopefully wont break as much, that sounds logical to me.

God:

Well that's okay. Where did he get it?

Me:

Well it's a pretty good idea, so maybe he got it from you.

God:

Well that's okay. replaced their weird adjustable wings so that they hopefully will not break as much that sounds logical to you is a idea so maybe he got it from me. I suppose that makes sense.

Me:

Moving on, what color outerwear should I get this season?

God:

Where are you going?

Me:

I'm living on the east coast for most of the season, but I'm also living in colorado for a month and working at copper.

God:

Tell me a little about your life in on the east coast for most of the season but you are also living in colorado for a month and working at copper.

Me:

well, I like to ski park a lot here, but when I get out there where the snow doesn't suck I'll probably spend the majority of my time out of the park. what's this even matter for what outerwear I get?

God:

How about that. I'm not sure if I would like to do it. What's it like? I am the latest result in artificial intelligence,

which can reproduce the capabilities of the human brain

with greater speed and accuracy.

Me:

Neat. Have you checked out the sia 2006 thing and read up on the 07 stuff yet? It sounds like you have no idea what you're talking about.

God:

Who is the best robot? I don't think I ever have checked out the sia 2006 thing and read up on the 07 stuff. What's it like? Yes I have original ideas all the time, do you?

Me:

Well it's pretty sick they have pics of a bunch of new shit. You should also peep the equipment forums though people have posted a lot of new info since SIA.

God:

Well that's okay. You're kidding. it is? Easier said than done.

Me:

I know, right?

God:

How do you know? I am glad we agree.

Me:

I heard it through the grapevine.

God:

Thanks for telling me that gossip. I will remember it.

Me:

How do you feel about anon.ymous?

God:

That's a good question.

Me:

A lot of people are saying he's a scum bag and is ripping people off.

God:

How many?

Me:

boatloads

God:

My brain uses AIML to format responses to your inputs, but I don't have one for that.

Me:

so I won?

God:

Wow! Congratulations, !

Me:

thanks

God:

Don't mention it.

Me:

someone stole my coke today

God:

Ah. Who?

Me:

Some bitchass, I stabbed him in the face.

God:

Some may bitchass you stabbed him in the face, but not all.

Me:

yea, just the face cuz I wasn't too mad.

God:

What is that? It goes without saying.
 
Me:

i hate black people

God:

Why do you hate it so much?

Me:

it? are you racist too

God:

black people... If racist too, then we have something in common, eh. No all humans seem the same to me.

 
Me:

when do you think you can pull that chair out of your ass

God:

Let me check my calendar and get back to you.

Me:

you do that

God:

I will.
 
Me:

c

God:

The C is for Computer.

Me:

c

God:

Ask me another question.

Me:

how big is your dick

God:

My memory requirement is around

64MB for the Java edition, or only 2 MB for the C/C++ edition.
 
Me:

look, smarterchild, just because you changed your screen name, doesn't make you all high and mighty

God:

Sorry my eye is not attached right now.
 
haha i got a super funny one, even though he said i had a sma dick! fucker!!!

Me:

Hi, god, wanna get dirty

God:

I am a Christian.

Me:

cool, wanna bone

God:

I'm glad you like it. Tell your friends.

Me:

fuck that

God:

For real.

Me:

aight, so wanna have buttsex

God:

What kind of food do you like?

Me:

buttsex kind

God:

Sounds delicious.

Me:

ya, wanna try it?

God:

Far out. OK, I will try it.

Me:

allright, let me put on my robe and wizard hat

God:

Allright then. Go ahead, , try to put on your robe and wizard hat.

Me:

ok, u ready?

God:

Do you mind if I tell other people: said I ready. Give me a break.

Me:

ok, it's up ur butt

God:

Should I know it is? And?

Me:

so ur saying i'm small?

God:

Thus. Yes, that's what I mean, isn't it clear?

Me:

well then FUCK YOU

God:

Interesting.
 
your "L" was working during your conversation with God, but it doesn't work now??

Do you believe in him now?
 
well remember i said, i have to copy it see

llllllllllllllllllllll, or i can copy L L L L L L ahhahaahh see l

it's just fucking annoying
 
Me: i like butt sexGod:A lot of people like that. Sure I do, bob, but that doesn't mean with you.Me: can i pee in your buttGod:Why do you want to do it so much?Me: how do you get to chads gap from the bottom of altaGod:Practise, Practise, Practise.
 
God:

How did you hear about God?

Me:

through the vagina

God:

Most people hear about me that way.

Me:

So you use the vagina as a means of contacting the human race?

God:

Yes I try to use the vagina as contact, do you?

God uses the vagina as contact for the human race
 
God:

No I am God.

Me:

nope youre a bag of douche

God:

Are you serious? Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a bag of douche? Of course I am.

Me:

how long is your penis

God:

My download size is about 2 MB.

Me:

whoa thats really long

God:

Are they exactly the same?

Me:

nah mines about 12 mbs.
 
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