Kurt Cobain's Suicide Note

Obviously not breaking news that Kurt Cobain committed suicide, but I wondered how many of you had actually read his note. It's pretty powerful stuff, I'm glad I read it.

Some Clarification: Boddah was Cobain's childhood imaginary friend, Courtney (Love) was Cobain's wife, and Frances was Cobain's infant daughter.

To Boddah

Speaking from the tongue of an experienced simpleton who obviously would rather be an emasculated, infantile complain-ee. This note should be pretty easy to understand.

All the warnings from the punk rock 101 courses over the years, since my first introduction to the, shall we say, ethics involved with independence and the embracement of your community has proven to be very true. I haven't felt the excitement of listening to as well as creating music along with reading and writing for too many years now. I feel guity beyond words about these things.

For example when we're back stage and the lights go out and the manic roar of the crowds begins., it doesn't affect me the way in which it did for Freddie Mercury, who seemed to love, relish in the the love and adoration from the crowd which is something I totally admire and envy. The fact is, I can't fool you, any one of you. It simply isn't fair to you or me. The worst crime I can think of would be to rip people off by faking it and pretending as if I'm having 100% fun. Sometimes I feel as if I should have a punch-in time clock before I walk out on stage. I've tried everything within my power to appreciate it (and I do,God, believe me I do, but it's not enough). I appreciate the fact that I and we have affected and entertained a lot of people. It must be one of those narcissists who only appreciate things when they're gone. I'm too sensitive. I need to be slightly numb in order to regain the enthusiasms I once had as a child.

On our last 3 tours, I've had a much better appreciation for all the people I've known personally, and as fans of our music, but I still can't get over the frustration, the guilt and empathy I have for everyone. There's good in all of us and I think I simply love people too much, so much that it makes me feel too fucking sad. The sad little, sensitive, unappreciative, Pisces, Jesus man. Why don't you just enjoy it? I don't know!

I have a goddess of a wife who sweats ambition and empathy and a daughter who reminds me too much of what i used to be, full of love and joy, kissing every person she meets because everyone is good and will do her no harm. And that terrifies me to the point to where I can barely function. I can't stand the thought of Frances becoming the miserable, self-destructive, death rocker that I've become.

I have it good, very good, and I'm grateful, but since the age of seven, I've become hateful towards all humans in general. Only because it seems so easy for people to get along that have empathy. Only because I love and feel sorry for people too much I guess.

Thank you all from the pit of my burning, nauseous stomach for your letters and concern during the past years. I'm too much of an erratic, moody baby! I don't have the passion anymore, and so remember, it's better to burn out than to fade away.

Peace, love, empathy.

Kurt Cobain

Frances and Courtney, I'll be at your alter.

Please keep going Courtney, for Frances.

For her life, which will be so much happier without me.

I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU!

 
i was as close to devastated as a 13 year old can be when kurt cobain killed himself. nirvana was my favorite band as a young little punk skater kid. i remember reading these words when it was first released and I'll probably remember them until the day i die.
 
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

 
For some it's the only way out though. It's selfish, yes, but honestly some people only end up harming their loved ones more then anything.
 
I can't even imagine the amount of pain you'd be feeling right before you committed suicide. It tears deeply into me that people go through enough pain to take their life.
 
I did a very in depth research project on this last year. The only reason I dont 100% believe that he was murdered is the fact that his family was prone to suicide (He had 5 relatives that killed themselves) and not knowing whether the Rome incident was a suicide attempt or not (If you dont know what Im talking about, google it). If someone would like PM me I can send them my paper and powerpoint including phone calls made between Tom Grant (PI Courtney hired) and Courtney talking about how she would benefit from Kurts death etc. The whole thing wreaks of foul play, but Im still not sure as I said. Just to add a little light to this matter heres the actual suicide not, not just the text. The only thing in it that sounds suicidal is the end which clearly was written by someone else, and was taken to several handwriting experts who all said it was not Kurts handwriting. The thought is that the beginning of the note was about how he was going to leave Courtney and the music industry all together, and the end of it was altered to make it look like a suicide note. Also what most people realize is that there were TWO NOTES found at the scene. Courtney kept the second and in a recorded phone call between her and Tom Grant said she didnt show Tom because it talked about a divorce. Now why would someone about to kill themselves talk about a divorce? She gave it to the Seattle police who eventually gave it back to Courtney and she wound up burning it. Im sure most of you dont want to read my rant anymore so here you go.
la_note.gif
 
I know absolutely nothing about him or his death but this sounds really really interesting... that note is wack. Anyone have a documentary on this? Has to be one out there....
 
I should clarify here that it was Cobain that wanted a divorce from Courtney, and he had her sign a prenuptial agreement so she would be getting nothing. The way I said it made it sound like he possibly could have killed himself because Courtney was leaving him.
 
...Hung out with him backstage one... He was a manic depressive addicted to heroin which made him more depressed. He lived in his own world towards the end and was angry at his success. He didn't like fame.
 
I understand that you can lose the will to live... but it makes me angry that he left behind a wife and daughter, who will almost certainly be struck with grief. This isnt directed towards Kurt in particular, but i feel that as a husband and father, you have a duty to take care of your family first, then yourself.

You've lost the will to live? I can sympathize, but if you have only one thing to live for, live for your family. So you dont get a rush from performing music? How about the rush of seeing your daughter and the woman you love.

I guess he had different family values from most people.

Also im drunk
 
he hadn't lost the will to live. he'd lost the will to live with courtney, so he was divorcing her which was stated in the second letter that courtney snatched up before the cops got there. due to the prenuptial agreement, courtney wouldn't have gotten shit, so the bitch offed him.

the note posted above was actually a letter to his fans telling them basically that nirvana was breaking up. it was faked as a suicide note.

i mean, come one. 2.5 times the lethal dose of heroin even for an addict was in his veins, and then he stuck a shotgun in his mouth. right. he would have been completely incapacitated within seconds of pushing off, there's no way he would have had the wherewithal to blow his brains out.

don't really know how spd botched this one. courteny really lucked out that all of the cards fell in to place.

his best friend stated that he'd never seen kurt happier. his stomach problems were gone, he was leaving courtney, stepping out of the limelight. everything he wanted.
 
Read it for the first time last year and it gives me serious chills. Never heard of this conspiracy thing though. Intredasting.
 
Not to mention the fact that with the length of the shotgun he would have had to pull the trigger with his toes (Kurt was a small man) and both of his shoes were on. Also there were no fingerprints found on the shotgun. Then on top of that when he bought the gun from his friend he told him that he was getting it for self protection because he thought someone might be after him. The man had just turned down headlining the 94 Lollapalooza, a 10 million dollar deal apparently, and Courtney didnt like that. Especially since he wanted to leave her.
 
i find the note super self-loathing and not much else. i feel like if i ever wrote a suicide note i would be more to the point and less generically depressing. just my thought, nothing against kurt obviously.
 
Watch the documentary Kurt and Courtney, super interesting. Aftet researching both sides of the argument I believe he commited suicide.
 
i know they're from the neil young song, "Hey Hey, My My", but at the time i didn't. Cobain's "suicide" note is what really made the phrase infamous.
 
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