Just when i thought i wasn't retarded.....

DangerToes

DangerToes

Active member
so apparently i am, because i just got my lips stuck to a popsicle and im bleeding fucking everywhere. fuck me.
 
i was trying to prove a point that tongs dont stick to metal on a ski lift. 4 stitches later i was proved wrong
 
when i was in elementary, some kid licked the fence of the baseball diamond. supervisor woman comes over and YANKS the kid off of it, tongue rips, blood everywhere, little girls start puking, little boys start shit with the supervisor (myself included). principal notices the commotion and comes over to ask us all what happened, she maintains that the kid pulled himself off the pole, all of us kids are trying to tell him that she did it. when the kids mom comes to pick him up from school, i tell her what happened and she goes and talks to the principal. we never saw that supervisor again.
 
i was in my front yard hitting a little rail and tryed to see if your toung sticks to painted metalI. I did a test little poke and my toung and it didn't stick so i liked the rail full out like it was ice cream or somethin. My whole toung was stuck solid and pulling to get it off i thought it was gonna get ripped out. My mom was in the house so i was trying to yell but its hard with your toung stuck to a rail. Half an hour later I slowly pryed it off with my fingers, but my toung couldnt bend it was a tounge sickle. The moral of the story is yes, your toung can stick to painted metal.
 
i got my tongue tuck to the end of my ski pole this season! i had a feeling it was going to happen too, was right and bled everywhere too! also i was relaxing on the lift bar and was near the end where my mate decided to life it up. smacked me in the jaw and i bit a hole though my lip... happy days
 
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