jokes that want to make you throw up...
- Thread starter fizzlefry
- Start date
Ice-Is-Scary
New member
a babie?
We pay our debt sometimes.
We pay our debt sometimes.
$$SPINNERS$$
Active member
'pool shark'
roles royce is a car to be driven in, bently is a car to drive.
roles royce is a car to be driven in, bently is a car to drive.
mark.p
Active member
whats 3 feet tall and 8 feet wide??
A baby with a spear through its head
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if your floating down a fiver in a cement canoe, and the wheels fall off, how many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house?
NONE! ice cream doesnt have bones.....
A baby with a spear through its head
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if your floating down a fiver in a cement canoe, and the wheels fall off, how many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house?
NONE! ice cream doesnt have bones.....
ECfreeski3
Active member
haha, love the pool one
________________________
-this post dedicated to matt-
'see, this is what's wrong with newschoolers these days, i try to start a shittalking war, and nobody bites the bait'-noteefa
BOYS GONE WILD!
I love Colleen
________________________
-this post dedicated to matt-
'see, this is what's wrong with newschoolers these days, i try to start a shittalking war, and nobody bites the bait'-noteefa
BOYS GONE WILD!
I love Colleen
skiierman
Active member
There once was a little boy who was celebrating his 11th birthday.
He decided to test his family to see if they remembered his birthday, so he goes downstairs to his father. 'Bet cha' can't guess how old I am today', the boy said.
The father has no clue and finally gives up. 'I'm eleven!' the boy exclaims.
Next he goes in the kitchen, walks up to his grandma, and says, 'Bet cha' can't guess how old I am today'.
'Let me give it a guess', grandma says and sticks her hand in his trousers.
She plays with his testicles for about an hour or so (squeezing them; moving them back and forth), takes her hand out of his trousers, and says, 'You're eleven years old'.
'How did you know?' the boy asked.
Grandma replied, 'I heard you tell your father'.
----2ond in Command of DANSA-----
To Huck. v. The act of throwing oneself off of a cornice, cliff, rock, or any other thing that results in an attempt to fly.
If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit.
He decided to test his family to see if they remembered his birthday, so he goes downstairs to his father. 'Bet cha' can't guess how old I am today', the boy said.
The father has no clue and finally gives up. 'I'm eleven!' the boy exclaims.
Next he goes in the kitchen, walks up to his grandma, and says, 'Bet cha' can't guess how old I am today'.
'Let me give it a guess', grandma says and sticks her hand in his trousers.
She plays with his testicles for about an hour or so (squeezing them; moving them back and forth), takes her hand out of his trousers, and says, 'You're eleven years old'.
'How did you know?' the boy asked.
Grandma replied, 'I heard you tell your father'.
----2ond in Command of DANSA-----
To Huck. v. The act of throwing oneself off of a cornice, cliff, rock, or any other thing that results in an attempt to fly.
If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit.
Crystal-needs-a-park
Active member
that gave me a shiver
__________________
You know the Nazis had pieces of flair that they made the Jews wear.
once back when i was a fetus i was aborted. it didn't hurt at all, but i was also high on life at the time. - thisangelicrage
its not rape....its surprise sex. you wake up and SURPRISE you had sex with me haha - huckster989
liberals think killing babies can be both fun and profitable, while conservatives think killing foreigners can be both fun and profitable - ice-is-scary
__________________
You know the Nazis had pieces of flair that they made the Jews wear.
once back when i was a fetus i was aborted. it didn't hurt at all, but i was also high on life at the time. - thisangelicrage
its not rape....its surprise sex. you wake up and SURPRISE you had sex with me haha - huckster989
liberals think killing babies can be both fun and profitable, while conservatives think killing foreigners can be both fun and profitable - ice-is-scary
Bob_Loblaw
Active member
whats the difference between a dead baby and a table?
you cant fuck a table.
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A handjob's the man's job. Yo job's a blowjob.
you cant fuck a table.
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A handjob's the man's job. Yo job's a blowjob.
Ahmets_Brother
Active member
ahahahhahaa
dont go to new york. all it has to offer is i love ny stickers
member 9020
newbies are our future unless if we stop them now!
'dont fuck with me cause the last person that fucked with me....well they lived a pretty normal life'- misty7
'ok im gonnago play pocket tanks...the only game that runs on my computer'-cruz
'maybe i shold turn lesbien and get the girls'-misty7
'i can have sex with the snow'-misty7 on how winter will end his lonelyness
dont go to new york. all it has to offer is i love ny stickers
member 9020
newbies are our future unless if we stop them now!
'dont fuck with me cause the last person that fucked with me....well they lived a pretty normal life'- misty7
'ok im gonnago play pocket tanks...the only game that runs on my computer'-cruz
'maybe i shold turn lesbien and get the girls'-misty7
'i can have sex with the snow'-misty7 on how winter will end his lonelyness
meb9486
Member
whats better then a dumpster full of babies?
watching the one on the bottom eat his way to the top
__________________
'Over time, most people experience life involving love, suffering, compassion and an unspeakable drive for something new...For me there's skiing, nothing more nothing less and it encompasses everything, everyday I'm out there.'
-Pep Fujas-
watching the one on the bottom eat his way to the top
__________________
'Over time, most people experience life involving love, suffering, compassion and an unspeakable drive for something new...For me there's skiing, nothing more nothing less and it encompasses everything, everyday I'm out there.'
-Pep Fujas-
soup
Active member
haha shit this benbow kid i know made up a whole shitload of dead baby jokes. they are so great.
i used to know one about grilled cheese but i forgot
___________________
ARMADAS ARE THE BEST SKI!!!BUY THEM
ARMADA WEBSITE
And no, I'm not getting photo incentives from those ads. If i wanted to do that, I'd just say 'Rip Curl, Nordica, Marker, Level, Astrix.' See? Now i've made money.' - Brad Holmes to some idiot kid from Potland Maine
i used to know one about grilled cheese but i forgot
___________________
ARMADAS ARE THE BEST SKI!!!BUY THEM
ARMADA WEBSITE
And no, I'm not getting photo incentives from those ads. If i wanted to do that, I'd just say 'Rip Curl, Nordica, Marker, Level, Astrix.' See? Now i've made money.' - Brad Holmes to some idiot kid from Potland Maine
skibrdingbitch
Active member
a conversation i had tonight, i just thought it was sooo funny, both of us were joking around
AnjelicaN23 : ha i love you mike
Muthm11 : thanks
Muthm11: prove it
AnjelicaN23 : how
Muthm11: engrave it in your skull with a brick
And it makes me see, every puff that I breathe, potent herbs and leaves could ease the world . . .
So, We roll and smoke and choke and- pass and toke and hand it back to ya.
AnjelicaN23 : ha i love you mike
Muthm11 : thanks
Muthm11: prove it
AnjelicaN23 : how
Muthm11: engrave it in your skull with a brick
And it makes me see, every puff that I breathe, potent herbs and leaves could ease the world . . .
So, We roll and smoke and choke and- pass and toke and hand it back to ya.
davidh
Active member
I'm am not a racist, but I know a couple extremely racist jokes if you want to hear them. A lot of people on NS will rape me if I dont put out this disclaimer. Do you want to hear em'?
_____________________________________________________________
'It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it.'
-Dubya.
'You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.'
'Cocaine is God's way of saying your're making too much money.'
Robin Williams.
'I don't like people who take drugs... Customs men for example.'
_____________________________________________________________
'It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it.'
-Dubya.
'You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.'
'Cocaine is God's way of saying your're making too much money.'
Robin Williams.
'I don't like people who take drugs... Customs men for example.'
Whats worse than a dead baby in a trash can?
- 10 dead babies in 10 trash cans.
Whats worse than 10 dead babies in 10 trash cans?
- One dead baby in 10 trash cans.
Why did the baby fall out of the tree?
-It was dead.
Why did the koala fall out of the tree?
-It was stapled to the baby.
Why did the girl fall off the swing?
-Because she didnt have any arms!
=================================
Rowen
'Aren't you Buzz Lightyear?'
*whispers* 'I love your movies!'
'URAAAAFWAAAGAAA!!!'
- 10 dead babies in 10 trash cans.
Whats worse than 10 dead babies in 10 trash cans?
- One dead baby in 10 trash cans.
Why did the baby fall out of the tree?
-It was dead.
Why did the koala fall out of the tree?
-It was stapled to the baby.
Why did the girl fall off the swing?
-Because she didnt have any arms!
=================================
Rowen
'Aren't you Buzz Lightyear?'
*whispers* 'I love your movies!'
'URAAAAFWAAAGAAA!!!'
Apple
Active member
the monkey joke:
Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
because it was dead.
Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree?
Because it was stabled to the first monkey.
Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree?
Becasue it was stape.led to the second monkey
Why did the 4th monkey fall out of the tree.
Because it was a copycat.
Why did the 5th monkey fall out of the tree, because it was stapled to ta boat.
Why did the 6th monkey fall out of the tree?
Because he heard there was a party on the boat
Why did the 7th monley fall out of the tree?
Because he delivered teh pizza to the boat
WHy did the 8th monkley fall out of the tree?
BEacuse he was stapled to the pizza.
what did the 9th monkey fall out of the tree?
Because he was stapled to the 8th monkey.
Why did the 10 monkey fall out of the tree?
Because he heard there was a party on he boat.
Why did the eleventh monkey fall out of the tree?
Because he wasnt drunk at 4:04 am on a tuesday the day befor his incomplete essay was due...
Im not going to lie, the 11th monkey, is actually me.
-Thom Savery
please pardon the cacography
--->CCR*
'Humanity needs to stop having relations with it's mother' -a freind on Oedipus Rex.
Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
because it was dead.
Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree?
Because it was stabled to the first monkey.
Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree?
Becasue it was stape.led to the second monkey
Why did the 4th monkey fall out of the tree.
Because it was a copycat.
Why did the 5th monkey fall out of the tree, because it was stapled to ta boat.
Why did the 6th monkey fall out of the tree?
Because he heard there was a party on the boat
Why did the 7th monley fall out of the tree?
Because he delivered teh pizza to the boat
WHy did the 8th monkley fall out of the tree?
BEacuse he was stapled to the pizza.
what did the 9th monkey fall out of the tree?
Because he was stapled to the 8th monkey.
Why did the 10 monkey fall out of the tree?
Because he heard there was a party on he boat.
Why did the eleventh monkey fall out of the tree?
Because he wasnt drunk at 4:04 am on a tuesday the day befor his incomplete essay was due...
Im not going to lie, the 11th monkey, is actually me.
-Thom Savery
please pardon the cacography
--->CCR*
'Humanity needs to stop having relations with it's mother' -a freind on Oedipus Rex.
clrumivier4life
Active member
Davidh, make sure you have some jokes about white people to make it politically correct. No one can argue if you're politically correct.
SkeeOrDie: I don't hate boarders, I hate fuckers, and 8-year olds that call everyone nigger face.
SkeeOrDie: I don't hate boarders, I hate fuckers, and 8-year olds that call everyone nigger face.
AJ_concepts
Member
what do you call a bunch of blacks standing on stage?
An Auction
*******************************************************
a good friend will always bail you out of jail, a best friend will be sitting there next to you saying that was fucking awsome
time flies like the wind, fruit flies like bananas
An Auction
*******************************************************
a good friend will always bail you out of jail, a best friend will be sitting there next to you saying that was fucking awsome
time flies like the wind, fruit flies like bananas
clrumivier4life
Active member
What do you call a black preist?
Holy Shit
SkeeOrDie: I don't hate boarders, I hate fuckers, and 8-year olds that call everyone nigger face.
Holy Shit
SkeeOrDie: I don't hate boarders, I hate fuckers, and 8-year olds that call everyone nigger face.
this isn't a joke but i remember seeing this in the news. some lady thought her husband loved their 2 month old baby more than her. so one night she cooked the baby in the oven and served it to him. husband freaked out. the lady is fucking nuts.
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Good Fun With A Hand Gun.
NO MORE BU** SH**
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Good Fun With A Hand Gun.
NO MORE BU** SH**
davidh
Active member
these are some more toned down jokes than the other ones I was originally going to post. DONT CALL ME A RACIST! THESE ARE JUST JOKES!
what's the difference between and black man and a pizza?
pizza can feed a family of four.
_____________________________________________________________
'It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it.'
-Dubya.
'You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.'
'Cocaine is God's way of saying your're making too much money.'
Robin Williams.
'I don't like people who take drugs... Customs men for example.'
what's the difference between and black man and a pizza?
pizza can feed a family of four.
_____________________________________________________________
'It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it.'
-Dubya.
'You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.'
'Cocaine is God's way of saying your're making too much money.'
Robin Williams.
'I don't like people who take drugs... Customs men for example.'
Ericpbp
Active member
I don't want to throw up
http://www.freeiPods.com/default.aspx?referer=7624380
http://www.freeiPods.com/default.aspx?referer=7624380
proZach
Active member
Apple
Active member
oh man... i dont even remember typing that out last night... The staples are thre because they just add an extra level of crappyness to the joke, makiing the joke funnier to some, and worse to others. Besides, Staples are actually comic gold.
-Thom Savery
please pardon the cacography
--->CCR*
'Humanity needs to stop having relations with it's mother' -a freind on Oedipus Rex.
-Thom Savery
please pardon the cacography
--->CCR*
'Humanity needs to stop having relations with it's mother' -a freind on Oedipus Rex.
Enthuzed
Active member
why is there connon on the top ov an advil bottle
so it reminds the niggers they used to pick cotton before they did drugs
why dont sharks eat black people
because they think its whale shit
Rideeast
picture gallery
so it reminds the niggers they used to pick cotton before they did drugs
why dont sharks eat black people
because they think its whale shit
Rideeast
picture gallery
dontH8innovate
Member
How many Snowboarders does it take to screw in a light-bulb?
-eleven, one to screw in the light-bulb, ten to say 'i can do that'
How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a light bulb?
-Let's go fishing
Pre-Paid Plan
A guy goes to a house of prostitution. He selects a girl, pays her $200 up front, and he gets undressed. She's about to take off her sheer blue negligee, when the fire alarms rings!
She runs out of the room, with his $200 still in her hand. He quickly grabs his clothes and runs out after her. He's searching the building, but the smoke gets too heavy, so he runs outside looking for her.
By this time, the firemen are there. He sees one of them and asks, 'Did you see a beautiful blonde, in a sheer blue negligee, with $200 in her hand?'
The fireman says, 'No!'
The guy then says, 'Well if you see her, screw her. It's paid for.'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
'Nobody spends more time on his knees than George W. Bush.' - Shaggy
If you ski in Massachusetts join the Mass-ive Cult, message me and you're in!!!!
-eleven, one to screw in the light-bulb, ten to say 'i can do that'
How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a light bulb?
-Let's go fishing
Pre-Paid Plan
A guy goes to a house of prostitution. He selects a girl, pays her $200 up front, and he gets undressed. She's about to take off her sheer blue negligee, when the fire alarms rings!
She runs out of the room, with his $200 still in her hand. He quickly grabs his clothes and runs out after her. He's searching the building, but the smoke gets too heavy, so he runs outside looking for her.
By this time, the firemen are there. He sees one of them and asks, 'Did you see a beautiful blonde, in a sheer blue negligee, with $200 in her hand?'
The fireman says, 'No!'
The guy then says, 'Well if you see her, screw her. It's paid for.'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
'Nobody spends more time on his knees than George W. Bush.' - Shaggy
If you ski in Massachusetts join the Mass-ive Cult, message me and you're in!!!!
manus
Active member
heard a horrible one last night that made me cringe.
Why do black people only have nightmares?
They killed the last one that had a dream.
and to be fair, I was looking for some horrible jokes about white people and there seems to be very few of them. I mean come on, there has got to be some jokes about white people that are horrible too, god knows white people do enough stupid stuff (and I figured Redneck jokes and whatnot didn't really qualify as cracks against white people).
life is too short to have any regrets
Why do black people only have nightmares?
They killed the last one that had a dream.
and to be fair, I was looking for some horrible jokes about white people and there seems to be very few of them. I mean come on, there has got to be some jokes about white people that are horrible too, god knows white people do enough stupid stuff (and I figured Redneck jokes and whatnot didn't really qualify as cracks against white people).
life is too short to have any regrets
tricksterboardin
Member
tooo funny
Spam_Man_1500
Active member
WHY DID THE GIRL BRING CHIPS TO THE DANCE CLASS?
BECAUSE THEY SAID THEre was going to be salsa and dips!!
hahaha i got that off my milk carton
BECAUSE THEY SAID THEre was going to be salsa and dips!!
hahaha i got that off my milk carton
inverted1440mute
Member
a mexican and a black man fall out of an airplane. who hits the ground first
who cares?
going beyond is as bad as falling short, especially on 70 foot tables.
who cares?
going beyond is as bad as falling short, especially on 70 foot tables.
genericname
Member
What do you call a barn of antique farm equipment..................
DRINK TILL YOU THROW UP
DRINK TILL YOU THROW UP
