JOKE FORUM

wut is the dif between skibladers and skier's-The bladers are gay and the skier's are cool (not really a joke but a fact)

Representin' da icy east....... and the loaf...... the Founding Father of the NS Abortion Clinic ....... Member Of the Itty Bitty Titty Committe

 
i can't think of one

Representin' da icy east....... and the loaf...... the Founding Father of the NS Abortion Clinic ....... Member Of the Itty Bitty Titty Committe

 
an american a italian and a mexican are standing over a cliff.

the italian comes up and throws a burrito over the egde and says, 'we have to many of these in my country'

then the italian drives a ferrari off the cliff and jumps out at the last second and says, 'we have to may of these in my country'

the american walks up to the other two doesn't say anything, and gives the mexican a push.

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Friend:oww shit my head!

me: what did you do?

friend: i fell down the stairs

Me: and you hit your head?

friend:No, my wrist

snoogins

Vancouver - good weed, hockey, and the Blunt Brother

Canada, better than the us

-an ashamed american

 
whats 20 feet long and smells like urine??

the line dancing line at the old folks home

'Little girls are a farmers dream..... Flat land and no bush.'
 
what do a blonde and a turtle have in common?

once they are on their back, they're screwed.

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'who wants to put the screws in?'

'i do!'

'no i do, my dad is a mechanic so i bet i am a lot better at stripping and screwing then you are!!!'

'ahhh, my ski just won't turn!'

'hmm..... have you tried turning it?'

 
hmm. what do i got..

why are wifes and condoms alike? they both spend more time in your wallet then on your dick.

 
How are a petafile and the tortise in common?

They both get there before the hare.

Its not winning or loosing that matters, its making fun of the fat kid that comes in last.

You can call me Bob........M.D.
 
This man wants his wife to have pleusure and he buys her the voodoo penis. The voodoo penis goes anywhere if you say voodoo penis and then the place where you want it to go. But the wife forgot how to take it out so she goes to the hospital while speeding and drunk. So the cops pull her over and say whats the rush mam? She sais the voodoo penis is stuck in me. Then he sais vodoo penis my ass. (so it goes in his ass for you retards who cant understand a joke)

 
your momma is so ugly, she tried to enter an ugly Contest but they said 'sorry, no professionals'

and:

A blond was cruising in her brand new porsche, while swering and changing lanes she clipped a disgruntled man coming home from a long days work. The man catchs up and waves her top the side of the road. He gets out and grabs a piece of chalk and a baseball bat. He draws a circle on the ground and says 'Blondie...step out of this circle and i'll beat uou to a pulp' he then turns around and smashes the side mirror of the porsche off with the bat. He hears laughter and sees the blond laughing. 'You think this is funny?' he says as he smashes in the taillights. Turning around the blond is cracking up, red faced with laughter. The man enraged smashes the windsheild, dents the doors and busts the headlights. The blond is nearly rolling around laughing her ass off. The man enraged beyond belief says 'What the fuck is so funny?' to this the blond replies 'While you weren't looking, i stepped out of the circle!'

RES

Keeping It Real on the East Coast
 
Some dude called Billy goes with his friends bobby and hank to the gueness records headquarters. Billy goes in and gets the record for the biggest hands, Bobby gets the Record for Biggest Ears. But Hank comes out all sad because he didn't get the record for the smallest penis. He just comes out muttering who the fuck is Dynarider

^^^Drop into the Pipe and Smoke it^^^
 
^^ omfg hahahahaha

so Alpentalik, Dynarider and Lateralis are in a bar drinking. When it's time to leave they discover they have no money to pay for their drinks. The bar keep says 'if the three of your penis's combine to over 12 inches, you can go out for free. SO Laterlis steps up and whips it out, and measures 6 inches, going good so far, Alpentalik whips his out and it measures 4 inches...then come dynarider, he whips his out and has 2 inches, just barely making the 12 inch mark. The men march out of the bar without a bill. While walking home Lateralis says 'you guys should thank me, i had the largest dick and helped the most' to which dynarider replies 'you guys should thank ME, i had an erection'

RES

Keeping It Real on the East Coast
 
very nicely put

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'who wants to put the screws in?'

'i do!'

'no i do, my dad is a mechanic so i bet i am a lot better at stripping and screwing then you are!!!'

'ahhh, my ski just won't turn!'

'hmm..... have you tried turning it?'

 
haha, except i heard that it was lagwagon with the uhhh...small weiner

$$$$$$The South Will Rise Again$$$$$$

I killed your cat, you druggy bitch!! I thought it would bring closure to our relationship!!!- Boondock Saints

Lagwagon - you are a failure...
 
ahahah very well put,at least me and alpentalik arent the ones with a 2 inch erect penis

'Little girls are a farmers dream..... Flat land and no bush.'
 
wait what did u say? lagwagon has a weiner? wow thats a good one hahahahaha

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'who wants to put the screws in?'

'i do!'

'no i do, my dad is a mechanic so i bet i am a lot better at stripping and screwing then you are!!!'

'ahhh, my ski just won't turn!'

'hmm..... have you tried turning it?'

 
heres something funny, that i actually witnessed

theres this guy, and he found a new way how to annoy people. His friend came up to him, and said 'did you notice all the shit that goes on in politics?' And the guy says 'i'll politics up ure ass'. His friend laughs, and says 'do yuo wanna get a burger or something', and the guy says, 'i'll burger up ure ass'. After about 1 hour of this banter, the friend says 'this is getn really annoyin man, come on!' The guy says 'I'll come up ure ass'

soon to be another shit-talker and donater of NS

Proud member of the official NS Ogre team, and NS communist party
 
what did the egg say after he ran a marathon???

jeez,im really eggshausted hahha its really cheesy,i made it up on a friday night so just guess

'Little girls are a farmers dream..... Flat land and no bush.'
 
what do you call a bunch of porkchops, bbq wings, and a steak hanging out.

a meating!

soon to be another shit-talker and donater of NS

Proud member of the official NS Ogre team, and NS communist party
 
k there are 4 types of orgasms,theres the positive one which is OH YES,the negative one,OH NO,the religious one,OH MY GOD and the fake one,OH LAGWAGON!

'Little girls are a farmers dream..... Flat land and no bush.'
 
how do u circumsize msrc freestyle........ kick his dad in the chin... hows did his father get circumsized....the one eyed nun on tv got hit in the asss

CJ SUX PENIS

MUG recognize
 
why dont polish women use vibrators?

it chips thier teeth.

why did MSRC_freestylist cross the road?

he couldnt get his dick out of the chicken.

just helping out dynarider, agianst all of you bandwagon faggots.

 
there are these two muffins in an oven. one says to the other

'damn its hot in here'

other one says:

'You can talk?!'

wanna know the caramilk secret?

donate.
 
There's a priest and a rabbi sitting in a rowboat in the middle of a lake. The priest turns to the rabbi and says, ''This is the worst joke I've ever been in.''

----------------------------------------

Donate or face the committee.

Don't be WACK

Vote TAK
 
whats the difference between blacks and snowtires?

-tires dont sing when in chains

$$$$$$The South Will Rise Again$$$$$$

I killed your cat, you druggy bitch!! I thought it would bring closure to our relationship!!!- Boondock Saints

Lagwagon - you are a failure...
 
whats the difference between lacks and snowtires?

-tires dont sing when in chains

$$$$$$The South Will Rise Again$$$$$$

I killed your cat, you druggy bitch!! I thought it would bring closure to our relationship!!!- Boondock Saints

Lagwagon - you are a failure...
 
^ like a double post but it's missing a 'b'

RES

I never had any time for Girls...I was too busy skiing
 
it should be the other way around...its what happens when you spell check after hitting reply

$$$$$$The South Will Rise Again$$$$$$

I killed your cat, you druggy bitch!! I thought it would bring closure to our relationship!!!- Boondock Saints

Lagwagon - you are a failure...
 
so this little kid is talking to petek and says:

'If my mom was and elephant and my dad was an elephant. I would be a baby elephant.'

Then, 'If my dad was a giraffe and my mom was a giraffe then I would be a baby giraffe.'

He continues on and petek gets angry and says, 'Well what if your mom was a prostitute and your dad was a drug addict who lost all his money.

The chico replys, 'well then, I'd be petek.'

I love you tipshift marry me-lizziebeth
 
heres mine its a really good one to it wont disappoint you,at first it seems this makes absolutely no since and it in no way can be funny, but if you read it all the way threw you will get it,

So this guy named China works at a chinese restaurant, China though is not chinese at all he is actually 100% Japanese, so China makes the food, or tried to make the food... China only got the job because his name was China and since chinese and japanese people look so much alike they gave him the job, his food turned out to be abosuletly disgusting and tasted like dingle berry ass hole, so China ended up gettin fired... well sort of fired they ended up taking his job away and making him dishwasher, so this waitress saays to him, hey China, what town from china are you from... he says listen soggy ass, im not from china im japanese, so she says you suck burn in hell and die, so china ends up going into a school and killing about 89 students, so china is in court and the judge and all the jury is chinese so the judge says hes gunna get him off, they ended up saying that china was really only pretecting him self, so the judge says what part of china are you from and China replies im from japan and the china guy says you fucking dill wanker pickle eater you are sentenced to the death chair ahhahaahhaha, and the guy named china dies, this joke is stupid and i made it all up because i now made at least one of you read the hole thing ahhahahhaha, you dingle berries hahahahahaahahaah, im laughing, im laughing ahahha

whos in da house, SACA is in the house!!! hahahahmuhahahah
 
youra a fag

--------------------

Creator of the NS Cousin Exchange Program

'Hey look, it's a Zamboni.' My not so intelligent friend after he saw the Loon Gondola

Stealth Ninja of the Silent Army

Viva la Resistance!

 
crap i cant type, but NH_Line, you actually wasted your time typing that retarded story and it probably took twice as long typing it than it took me to read it so whos really wasting their time moron

--------------------

Creator of the NS Cousin Exchange Program

'Hey look, it's a Zamboni.' My not so intelligent friend after he saw the Loon Gondola

Stealth Ninja of the Silent Army

Viva la Resistance!

 
once again, gettin insulted over the internet is worse than monkey sex, but haha, i deserved it im hella bored though

whos in da house, SACA is in the house!!! hahahahmuhahahah
 
what do you do when your toe falls off?

call a toe truck

how do you count cows in a field?

use a cowculator

why did the woman cross the road?

it doesnt matter she should be in the kitchen

first to figure out what lathgwanh means.

ns ogre crew
 
A man was sitting on his porche when he saw a blonde drive by. He said that he would pay her $50 if she painted his porche. The blonde agreed. An hour or two later the man asked her if she was done. The blonde nodded and said 'I had extra paint left she I did two coats. And by the way that's not a porche, it's a ferrari!'

 
A man was in a conference in Washington and his girlfriend said she would meet him there. The man decided to e-mail his wife to tell her he was looking forward to seeing her. He didn't have her e-ail with him so he did his best to remember it. Accedentaly he forgot one number. A widow still grieving for the loss of her huspand who died a few days ago recieved the following e-mail and screamed:

Dear honey,

I have just arrived and can't wait for your arrival in a few days.

PS. It's very hot down here

 
Heard this one from my guy friends on the lift:

Guy1: Hey, do you remember the first time you got head?

Guy2: Yeah, why?

Guy 1: How'd it taste?

 
y don't women wear watches, cuz there is a clock on the stove,

y did the women cross the road? fuck, i dono either she was supposed to be making me supper

--------------------------

Proud Canadian

It Ain't Easy Being Shlezy
 
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