John Symms (alternative to the crying bitch thread)

liquidsword

Member
So Symms called out Mik because he called out Simon, and he called out Mik's sheep for fully subscribing to his brazen manifesto pertaining to the true progression of skiing (fucking sheep calling everyone else sheep is what it is)

Mik is a dope skier, but so is Simon, and Symms was completely on point.

Also, his blog commentary is some laugh till my drink comes out my nose and ruins my laptop funny shit.

soooo basically keep killing it Symms.
 
Word to that. Mik is dope, but Simon's drop in first hits in the pipe are ballsy steeze and his misty mute's on tables are hawt, no pole flailing rodeo's and nose 5's are not the pedestal upon which anyone can call everyone else a disgrace to the sport, that's bad form, oh and last time I checked, Tanner has been claiming Gold for yrs now with technical style, so really it;s "spin to silver", not spin to win.

 
Here ya go man:

February 1, 2008

While you enjoy this, please do me a favor and check out my new EXPN.com blog. You won’t be sorry.

3:56 p.m. Don’t know who this is. Woah, nice 360. She almost grabbed her skis on that one. Coming into the second jump and…she eats shit and blows up.

4:00 p.m. Nice fakie 180, Kristi. Oops. Stays on her feet. And she’s skipping the rest of the course. At least she didn’t blow up and eat shit like the rest of the girls. Kristi’s ability to ski from top to bottom without injury might just bump her into that coveted first-place spot.

4:02 p.m. Angeli VanLaanen just skied from top to bottom, only skipped one feature, and only looked like she was going to eat serious shit one time. She’s in first now for sure.

4:05 p.m. Look out. Here comes Stephanie Meyers. Careful with those knees, Steph. Nice straight air. Uncle E says, “That’s a 90 off, isn’t it?” It is, Chris. Stephanie Meyers seriously upped the ante on that last run. Kim Lamarre is way out in first right now. I bet her run is sick. I joined the contest after her first run though. Hibbert says, “Come on, Meg. Bring out the 900.” Yeah right.

4:08 p.m. Uncle E is bringing spectators back from commercial with the quote, “Slopestyle for you newcomers…” I guess he doesn’t realize that all the newcomers are competing in the women’s slopestyle right now. Meg just blew up and ate shit on the flat-down box. No worries, Meg. You’d only have to worry if somebody behind you was about to land a run.

4:10 p.m. Kim Lamarre. She just ate shit on the knuckle of jump #3. However, she grabbed her skis three times before that, which is three more times than the rest of the field grabbed their skis. And then, despite the bummer in the middle, she just did some legit-ass rail tricks on the bottom. If I could do Kim’s rail stuff, maybe I could compete in a slopestyle. She’s going to win.

4:12 p.m. Uh oh, Kim. Some girl with a name I’m not going to try to spell just spun more than 360 on one of the jumps, and she slid the down-flat-down rail.

4:14 p.m. Kim’s safe. Aerts is into 3rd. That’s legit. She had a legit run. Kim ought to think about moving up to the big leagues and competing in the slopestyle coming up after the girls’ contest.

4:15 p.m. 360. 360. 360. Skip the rest of the course. The crowd goes wild.

4:18 p.m. Battersby makes it to the bottom without getting hurt. She might pop up into first. I didn’t see Kim’s run, but Ashley spun a lot, and looked much less like she was going to blow up and eat shit than any of the rest of the girls I’ve seen. She could take it. Just more proof that ESPN needs to boost ratings and put women’s slopestyle into the X Games.

4:20 p.m. Shanny Coen is going for it. Great fakie 180! Going big on jump 2 and…she lands right on her side/face. Thanks for coming out, Shanny.

4:21 p.m. Van Valin calls out a 540. Somehow this girl did a 5 taking off and landing forward. Amy Sheehan.

4:22 p.m. Commercial break. I’m glad I’m not judging this event. How do you tell one phenomenal 360 muscle-flex from another? The technical subtleties of these runs take a well-seasoned adjudicatory eye to discern.

4:24 p.m. Ashley Battersby just shot up into first place. Better luck next year, Kim. Maiko Hara just did an inward 270 off of the flat rail. Progressive. Uncle E is trying to piece the lead change together and says, “maybe it was that switch 540 up top.” Maybe. Maybe it was that switch 270 disaster at the 2004 Powder Magazine Superpark.

4:27 p.m. Anna Segal killed the jumps. Then she killed herself on the rails. Better luck next year, Anna.

4:29 p.m. Caia something has just done some very stylie turns around the jumps in the course. She got a little sketchy going through some soft stuff on the sides. But her decision to stay out of the air should lock her up the fastest time on the course thus far.

4:33 p.m. Stephanie Meyers. Last chance to dethrone Battersby and her masterful handling of everything on the course except for her skis (get it? she didn’t grab). And she eats shit. Work on keeping your eyes open off the takeoffs, Steph. Keep those eyes open, and you’ll land flat on your back far less.

4:36 p.m. Ashley takes it home. Nice job, Ashley.

 
you are a moron. mikael voiced a damn opinion on what he thought was bad so what. like i said tricks like the ones they are doing have been done for years minus maybe the kangaroo flip just without grabs. someone watched an aerials video or comp and was like thats cool if i throw a grab in there it could be something new for us newschool skiers. dont try and call me a fuckin sheep i am down with all the new shit they are doing. its just getting old seeing the same thing over and over again at comps. you people take someones opinion on something and turn it into hate.
 
you should check out his website! He talks some zaney shit on some situations on his blog. Also there are his sponsors, all news about him, videos of himself, even kindly letting us know when hes on covers! And the banner of him is sick!

(p.s. Its not a sponsor site)
http://johnsymms.com/

 
I just read some of the stuff on his site, Mind protection caps for defense against aliens, Soulja boy dancing w Colby West, there is some funny stuff there.
 
Back
Top