John Simmmmms!

Aaaron.

Active member
simms-what is the deal with the contest?

I won 6th place, shot an email and still haven't heard back. if there is a legitimate reason for this, i completely understand, but i am still curious as to what is going on.

other winners-am i the only one who hasn't heard from him?

everyone else- I might as well post the essay that landed me with the "Number one Hater award"

My Dear Mister Symms

I am writing to inform you that there

has been a death in the family, A rogue in the system, or in simple

words, something that simply shouldn't be said, and just isn't right.

I am, before your very eyes, answering Question Four, "Three Reasons

Why Simon Dumont is the most attractive man alive." First(!) may I

bring to attention his dreamy eyes. Bluer than a the depths of Lake

Tahoe, colder than a Whistler pow day, yet as vibrant as a warm spring

morning, as yearning as a summer glacier jump line calling your name,

and as wistful as having to leave the mountain 5 hours before closing.

They speak of summers gone by and winters yet to come, of comp runs yet

to stomp and pillow lines waiting to be slashed. The only comparison I

can find is the near perfect Zac Efron(see link A), who pales in

comparison to Simon's heavenly good looks and ravishing charm.

Secondly is his hair. A simple search on Google images reveals

that The Dumont's hair is perfection at it's best. It perfectly rests

above his heart-stopping smile, perfectly straight with a slight wave

towards the end. Even after a long hard day of progressing the sport

and showing up all the would be competition, his helmet hair puts all

other forms of hair to death(see link B. It is like a quiet seduction,

a warm summers sunset over the Costa Rican Pacific Coast. The way it

tosses in the wind after a perfectly executed cork 900 and the way it

frames his face, with a Red Bull New Era hat playfully perched on the

top.

Lastly, his immaculate goggle tan. The contrast from the

flawless patch of skin above his angelic arching eyebrows to the

chiseled cheek bones, and finely shaped chin is enough to make anyones

heart skip a beat(see link C). This most perfect of tans can only be

achieved by hours upon hours of slaying, shralping,killing,slaying and

shralping, pow, park, pipe, urban, and the explicit gnar, and EVERYONE

loves a hard working man.

Though he is the target of

so much hate and often accused of selling out, Simon Dumont is the

image of a freestyle skier. Not to mention his work with the Target

House for disfigured children. He is a model citizen, not partaking in

the counter-culture practices of of certain Rastafari inspired

athletes, or the disgustingly urban-inspired underground ski crews,

Simon is a man who we can all wake,ahem,look up to.

Best Regards,

Aaron Agre

Link A

http://expn.go.com/08/ski/080612_dumontefron_h_big.jpg

Link B

http://www.redbullskiing.com/riders/RB_Ski_Dumont_bio.jpg

Link C

http://doglotion.com/sites/default/files/u3/dumont2.jpg

PS

The only thing I more than Simon Dumont is a pair of Skullcandy TIs

Oh, and

I almost forgot to call NO HOMO, but don't worry, it's not like I'm gay or anything.

oh

and next time you see Tanner Hall, can you pass this on to him?

http://www.hometheaterforum.com/htf/computers-htpc/255990-how-disable-caps-lock.html
 
I got fifth and I emailed him a while back. He told me that numbers 4 through 10 are getting year subscriptions to freeskier. hope this helps you with your answer
 
I did.

And I know that 5-10 will be getting free subs to FS, but his blog says that the "Best Diss" will win some used gear... I was kind of stoked on that, just wondering what happened.
 
haha

glad you enjoyed it.

i wrote it in one go, and as i was going back over it, i thought WTF WAS I THINKING.

i questioned my sexuality for a few days

but i came out on top...

go ahead and interpret^ that for yourself...=O
 
Right. "Best Diss" gets some used gear. If you came in 6th it doesn't sound like you were the "Best".
 
idk if you're a girl or not, if you arethen thats fine. but if youre a dude than your pretty fucking gay (no offense obviously)
 
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