I'm looking for a girlfriend!

"Im gonna leave my contacts in for a month, or till they stick to my eye." --- That guy must be one of the smartest around.

"In 20 or 30 years my uncle should die off and we can get like one million dollars, that would be cool"-- HAHAHHAHAHAHA
 
hahahaha "im bi-polar and schizophrenic so if you ever want to have kids thats something that can totally be passed on to them." hahaha if i was a chick, this statement would completely seal the deal hahaha
 
'Please, please....inspire me to love you."

Yeah, um, he's definitely someone who would kill his gf because she didn't make him a sandwich.
 
quiet, you.

girls date me despite the fact that i've killed mutual friends for burning my grilled cheese sandwiches.
 
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