Im at a loss.

IrishDrink87

IrishDrink87

Active member
okay, this is going to be long, but before anyone reads this, you need to know that smart ass comments wong be recognized by me. i really have no idea what im supposed to do, so im begging you, help me.

okay, so march of last year, i had sex with a guy who is over 18. we were extrememly close friends and had known each other for about a year before we made the decision to do that. well, afterward, i told my best friend who happened to be a guy, but unknown to me, he had a crush on me. so he was all sad the night that i told him, and he told his mom. well, she never has liked me, and really has no reason for it, but whatever. she called the cops on my friend.

i didnt speak to him for a year and three months after that. he went to court, (luckily for me, i never had to attend) and was hardly charged because there were no direct charges against him. just civil charges. so he endded up with stupid things, no jail time or anything. but i was issued a restraining order against him by court. neither parties wanted it.

he called me last night. telling me that hes not mad at me, and telling me that he could never be mad at me because he knows i didnt want this to happen. he said he still wants to be my friend, and we talked nonstop for about 4 hours about everything. and he told me that he was in love with me. he kept saying he knows he does because if he didnt, he would have thought about me so much for over a year. he has every right to hate me. we both know that, but he doesnt. but the restraining order is still in effect. so i cant tell anyone.

heres where i need help. i have a boyfriend whom i love more than anything. and my friend is telling me how much he loves me and all that. there is no doubt in my mind about how much i want to stay with my boyfriend, but i also believe honesty is the best policy. so should i tell my boyfriend about my friend calling me? he knows who this guy is from me telling him about him (he asked about him). but he also tends to blow things out of porportion. my friend will back off if i tell him to back off, but daniel doesnt care about that.

what do i do?

thank you

I dont want a large Farva!

'if the president is anything like you, atlantaski, i hope someone smacks him with a golf club and shits in his mouth.' CrystalNeedsSomething...
 
Before you tell your boyfriend anything you have to make a decision between the two. If you tell your boyfriend before choosing the situation will quickly spin out of your control and your boyfriend will do something rash, while the only thing you friend did was tell you how he's feeling.

Hey Jesus, did you order a cab? -Robin Williams

there's a war going on? I better grab my gat, I wasn't aware. -Ghostdragon

Armada

 
no not if he blows things outa proportion he could go kill him or somethin and dont get together with ur friend cause that could make u 2 not be friends

'weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee go nads' the squirle
 
tell your boyfriend, meet the guy and talk to him about shit, fuck the restraining order its just a damn piece of paper

Fuck You
 
i have to agree with ^, definately choose so you have control over the situation

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Marija-what!?!?~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Quick Maggie, lets make out before anyone notices!!!

~Natalie~

So, do you like work here?

~Alisha~

TEAMWORK - There is no I in drunk!

NO BOYS ALLOWED: WE'RE GOING TOPLESS! - girls night out 2004
 
im supposed to meet him this upcoming weekend just to talk about things.

i already know i want to be with my boyfriend now. there is no doubt about that. and i told my friend that, but he just said, 'just have coffee with me.' its not a date, we both know that.

I dont want a large Farva!

'if the president is anything like you, atlantaski, i hope someone smacks him with a golf club and shits in his mouth.' CrystalNeedsSomething...
 
I missed the part about you saying you were going to stay with your boyfriend no matter what. Only tell him if you think he'll find out from somebody else. That would be bad. If you just tell him he'll take things into his own hands and the guy who's got the restraining order is going to get hurt. Trust me, guys are that way.

Hey Jesus, did you order a cab? -Robin Williams

there's a war going on? I better grab my gat, I wasn't aware. -Ghostdragon

Armada

 
well ont do anything that u would later hate ur slef for doin

'weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee go nads' the squirle
 
this is seriously killing me. i know that if this happened with my boyfriend, i would want to know. but at the same time, i dont freak out about things like that. i would just ask him what hes going to do about it. talk to him. so its confusing to me because it feels hypoctitical, but i know that we would have different reactions.

IM CONFUSED!

I dont want a large Farva!

'if the president is anything like you, atlantaski, i hope someone smacks him with a golf club and shits in his mouth.' CrystalNeedsSomething...
 
tell him about it then he he says he's gonna do somethin to the other guy then tell him if u do anything ill kill my self ( or somethin doesnt have to be killing ur self but u get it)

'weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee go nads' the squirle
 
you know your boyfriend, so think about how he usually acts, do you think he'd blow it out of proportion?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Marija-what!?!?~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Quick Maggie, lets make out before anyone notices!!!

~Natalie~

So, do you like work here?

~Alisha~

TEAMWORK - There is no I in drunk!

NO BOYS ALLOWED: WE'RE GOING TOPLESS! - girls night out 2004
 
Be sure to tell him you're going to have coffee with that other guy though. Lieing about stuff now isn't going to help your situation at all. Trust me, If your boyfriend has any friends at all you'll be lucky if they just 'intimidate' him a bit. Unless he's a sad emo kid. But that doesn't seem like your type.

Hey Jesus, did you order a cab? -Robin Williams

there's a war going on? I better grab my gat, I wasn't aware. -Ghostdragon

Armada

 
i dont work that way, but i see where youre going. more like if he does anything i would break up with him. i dont do that though. its really not how i like to handle things

I dont want a large Farva!

'if the president is anything like you, atlantaski, i hope someone smacks him with a golf club and shits in his mouth.' CrystalNeedsSomething...
 
well ya but it could save that other guys ass then if he doesnt after like a month or 2 and things get settled adn he gets over it u could say u wouldnt have actuly done it

'weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee go nads' the squirle
 
lol, no emo kids for me. theres a pic of him in my profile. but im thinking that if i have coffee with my friend, and tell him then that our relationship can only remain friends, then that should be fine. but i keep thinking about it from dans pov. i would want to know if he was in my situation.

I dont want a large Farva!

'if the president is anything like you, atlantaski, i hope someone smacks him with a golf club and shits in his mouth.' CrystalNeedsSomething...
 
as someone who's really been hurt in a BIG way (4 and a half years of happiness to instant excruciating pain) I would have to agree with the idea that honesty is the best policy. It may not be the easiest policy in terms of avoiding confrontation but if you are really to have an open and honest relationship with the person you care about it's the only way to go. Beyond that chances are you hooked up with your friend before you even met the guy you're with now and although I know from experience that that doesn't always necessarily always make it all that much easier to take, given that fact there's really no logical reason in the world that your boyfriend can be mad at you, it's in the past and as long as things are good between you and your boy now and you can assure him it's ancient history he really shouldn't have anything to worry about. Although it might be hard for him to take initially hw should ultimately respect you more for having told him the truth and not trying to keep it from him.

'You think you're too cool for school, but I've got a newsflash for you Walter Kronkite...You aren't' - Zoolander
 
well, you got the high ground as of now, talk shit all the way through with your boyfriend, finish it so the matter is over and done with, then go and talk to the other guy and do the same

Fuck You
 
u could just say everything that u first posted to him well most of it so he would get it adn then the coffee part

'weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee go nads' the squirle
 
but also keep in consideration that there is still the restraining order. if anyone found out that its being violated, my friend is FUCKED. they told him, fines, jail for at least a year, and other dumb shit. i cant apply for the order to be revoked for another 2 years.

if dan does decide to do soemthing stupid, it would most likely be found out that the order was violated.

I dont want a large Farva!

'if the president is anything like you, atlantaski, i hope someone smacks him with a golf club and shits in his mouth.' CrystalNeedsSomething...
 
ya thats true but u should probly not do it at a public place ( dp it as in coffee)

'weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee go nads' the squirle
 
well thats why you talk shit through, and remember, and really, try to get this through your head, the law dosnt mean shit unless you want it too, and i aint neva gonna let paper push me, or be a paper pusher either but whatever

Fuck You
 
ya i agree with ^ really talk it through and make sure he aint mad or w/e

'weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee go nads' the squirle
 
no. public is what is going to happen because if we did private and my bf found out, we would be over. and its less likely to be found out if its in public because its natural, and we wouldnt be like, paranoid. cause i know we would both be like, 'did you hear something!?' if we were alone.

I dont want a large Farva!

'if the president is anything like you, atlantaski, i hope someone smacks him with a golf club and shits in his mouth.' CrystalNeedsSomething...
 
agreed, the restraining order is definitely a thorny issue to say the least but you can't let it interfere with your life and the issues that you need to resolve to be happy and stop stressing out

'You think you're too cool for school, but I've got a newsflash for you Walter Kronkite...You aren't' - Zoolander
 
thank you guys so much for helping me. i still dont know what to do, but it is really nice to post something and not have people be total assholes to me.

thank you

I dont want a large Farva!

'if the president is anything like you, atlantaski, i hope someone smacks him with a golf club and shits in his mouth.' CrystalNeedsSomething...
 
well if both guys want to have sex with you, suggest a threesome

_______________________________________________________

The Official-royal nose-picking, wannabea highschool dropout, Gary Coleman-loving, Arnold-hating, college chick-dating, Montana boonies guy

Member of the 'lets help Sam loose some weight so he can possibly get a girl' Club.

Only Westcoaster in the Eastcoast Cult

 
no that would be funn but i dont think shes up for that or her boyfriend will rpobly flipone of the 2

'weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee go nads' the squirle
 
well it's gonna be hard for you to take this but we've all been there and sorry to be the one to break it to you, but advice recieved on ns means absolutly nothing. but might i add that the thressome idea isn't half bad i'd recomend it and ranch dressing trussst me you'll thank me later...

 
I think you should DEFINITELY tell him now. Think about it, if you decide not to, and you guys are still together a few years down the road, you may feel really bad about not telling him and decide to let him know, and he might be really pissed that you didnt tell him sooner. Good luck with everything though, im sure it will work out fine.

Todd! Are you not aware that I get farty and bloated with a foamy latte'?- Mr. Mugatu
 
i think you just need to call that other kids mom a bitch say she threatened you or something equally immature.

___________________

You know the Nazis had pieces of flair that they made the Jews wear.

once back when i was a fetus i was aborted. it didn't hurt at all, but i was also high on life at the time. - thisangelicrage

Smuggs has a good point. Julia Roberts tried eating me when i was an orphan, but i bit her toe off, so she left me alone. - misterbinz
 
everyone whose posting is saying tell him. everyone who is messaging me is saying dont tell him.

I dont want a large Farva!

'if the president is anything like you, atlantaski, i hope someone smacks him with a golf club and shits in his mouth.' CrystalNeedsSomething...
 
i cussed her out when i found out what she did. i saw her the other day walking withthe guy shes cheating on her husband with and wanted to hit her with my car. it made me happy just to imagine me doing it though.

I dont want a large Farva!

'if the president is anything like you, atlantaski, i hope someone smacks him with a golf club and shits in his mouth.' CrystalNeedsSomething...
 
o well go with what i say

which would be tell him everything but make sure he's not gonna do anything

'weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee go nads' the squirle
 
^^^I think what that means is that everyone who's posting and telling you to tell the guy either wants what's best for you or they want to look like wise, sensitive guys who always know what's best, OR, the guys who are posting you are intentionally giving you bad advice in the hope that everything will blow up in your face and you will turn to them in your time of need

'You think you're too cool for school, but I've got a newsflash for you Walter Kronkite...You aren't' - Zoolander
 
*messaging you not posting you

'You think you're too cool for school, but I've got a newsflash for you Walter Kronkite...You aren't' - Zoolander
 
you should invite the bitch mom out to coffee then find a way to 'accidentally' spill steaming hot coffee on her

___________________

You know the Nazis had pieces of flair that they made the Jews wear.

once back when i was a fetus i was aborted. it didn't hurt at all, but i was also high on life at the time. - thisangelicrage

Smuggs has a good point. Julia Roberts tried eating me when i was an orphan, but i bit her toe off, so she left me alone. - misterbinz
 
why the fuck would you give bad advice, if you get your jollies off shit like that, well, your just a fucking loser

Fuck You
 
no im just talkin, but everything i said in this thread was meant to help, communication in relationships is the only thing that keeps them going, so if you dont communicate and hold shit back, your fuckin it up

Fuck You
 
yes, i agree, have sex with sam

___________________

You know the Nazis had pieces of flair that they made the Jews wear.

once back when i was a fetus i was aborted. it didn't hurt at all, but i was also high on life at the time. - thisangelicrage

Smuggs has a good point. Julia Roberts tried eating me when i was an orphan, but i bit her toe off, so she left me alone. - misterbinz
 
so have I, I just thought I'd go out on a limb with my personal theory as to why people who post tell her to tell the guy and people who message her tell her not to. I'm crazy though, I have all kinds of theories and many of them don't pan out in real life, especially when I'm sauced

'You think you're too cool for school, but I've got a newsflash for you Walter Kronkite...You aren't' - Zoolander
 
ya it worked so thats like helping i guese we'll just say it is

'weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee go nads' the squirle
 
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