If your skis could talk what would they say?

"Never ride me switch ever again. the last time you did that you smashed us both into my cousin Oak! You're lucky we're both alive!"

I rode switch into a tree and blacked out Sunday. I broke my shoulder blade so now I'm done for the season.
 
My ski's would go "Here we go again...... 3... 2.... 1..... WEEEEEE!!!!!!!! wait wait wait... hahahahahaha he ate shit again! Hilariious!"

 
Haha that's what my friend said. It is funny, but I'm upset I had to end it like that. Definitely gonna get a lesson next year so it doesn't happen again. Unfortunately I don't remember spotting the tree or steering out of the way due to the mild concussion I got. People just told me I dropped in switch, hit a tree, flipped and crashed. But thanks for the vibes dude. I guess this is how my 5th year curse will play out....

FYI, every 5 years I seem to break a bone. Right collar bone at 7, same bone again at 12, and now left shoulder blade at 17.
 
"I'm too scared to go to the shop what if they don't mount me dead center, then i will have even more holes in me when remounted"
 
Put some bigger gouges in me next time you decide to stall that nice sharp rock... Or wax me... Or knuckle that jump one more time and ill break your bindings again.
 
"you are keeping me alive as a vegetable on life support. please, please, just pull the plug and be done with me"
 
"WHY THE FUCK DO you hit 10 ft cliffs wen there is 6 inches of snow and rocks sticking out of the ground"
 
everyone who has powder skis can relate to this one

"WTF is wrong with you? you paid close to $700 for me, and then another $300 on bindings, and you have only used me 3 TIMES! YOU SIR ARE RETARDED!!"

Atleast thats what my Comi's would say.
 
"I know your unemployed, broke and stinjy but please splash out a few dollars for some wax"

"Stop being lazy and skiing over rocks to get to the car park"
 
"what the fuck made you think i wanted you to take me out today? I was fine just chillin in the basement, but no you asshole."
 
"Hey, do you need this piece of topsheet? How about this piece of sidewall? No? Okay cool, I'm just going to get rid of these then."

-My 08/09 Chronics.
 
OK there's a tree ahead....
This might be a good time to turn, we're closing in now... Hello?
HEEEYYYY! I DON'T REMEMBER SAYING SPEED UP?!
*BIG CRASH*
Wow, you suck. Well thanks for takin' the fall though, you know how to spread your legs.
 
"hey stop f****ng doing nollys there braking my god d*m back, hey and about taking the razer blade to my chipped sides,.......F**k im not a mother f****ng emo!"

my skis are BA rofl
 
'' In case you were wondering if it hurt me when you undershoot that 60 foot jump, the answer is yes asshole! ''
 
hahahaha, what is the deal with these guys, i heard alot of hype about them and then no one has them.
 
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