If your skis could talk what would they say?

"Dammit what the hell are you doing now...What the Fuck am i doing on the side of the rail. WHAT you just slammed me into the side of the rail dammit what the hell. You Call that a Hippy Killer What the FUCK"

They would get pissed often
 
My '09 Line Anthems would say:

"When can I beat up those XC race skis? They think they're sooo great with their 11m turn radius!!"

"Will you ever show up my cocky younger brother Invader? I'm tired of boxes!" (my bro rides invaders)

"Thank you for not beating the shit outta me so far like your friend's Dumonts. I hear they've become addicted to huffing red wax because of it!" (I'm making up a ski drug right meau.)

"get those filthy snowboards off me you damn dirty snowboarder!!"

I could go on and on...but I need to think of more.
 
I always had the feeling that my old suspects would be whiny bitches that never wanted to do anything and always complained."Ow ow owowow, why are you doing that? What are you doing? Why are you going there? No no no no, I'm going to fucking break I swear! Put me back in my box! Owwwwwwwww."
 
my anthems would be saying:

"you call that a kfed? what the fuck youre retarded! and you ripped my brake off doing a blind 2! im tired of rails. i want some pow and big jumps."
 
hmm, im pretty sure my 2 1/2 year old spk's would say something along the lines of..
"god, just put me out of my misery!"
 
"look at those muthafuckin rockered skis they think they are the hottest shit on the mountain...wait until I shit in their mouths!"
 
"You ass! my bases are pockmarked, when the hell are you going to have me patched and waxed? also you need to grow some hair on those peaches and drop bigger shit and ski faster. seriously, come on."
 
mine would probably say "don't be a bitch and stop under shooting that jump god dammit" or, "don't be stupid and take these shit px12's off and put on those nice sexy jesters"
 
park skis: "You think you can just use me and abuse me?!"

pow skis: "I had fun last night."

median skis: "We don't talk anymore..."
 
TMs: If you hit ONE more rail, it's over. We're through. Look at me!? I look like a god damned geriatric with my edges falling out, sidewalls collapsing. What do you say we just take it easy?
 
my Hellbents: "are you as stupid as you look? why on earth are you skiing me on rails? ts, ts, way too much park rats these days" XD but i think my hellbents still love me.
 
this is a sweet thread. I had a story published in Powder Magazine about this very same topic in the September 2007 (vol36 issue 1) page 72. Skis have feelings to you know....
 
Hahahaha exactly, mine would also ask where all the Celebrities, Shadows and Missdemeanors are at. I've only seen one pair at my local hill. Ever.

New one!

"Woo hoo, you're awesome! I can't believe we beat a racer switch!"
 
rock skis/ twon skis- what the fuck is wrong with you.. i'm not ment for pavement..

pow skis- drop a clif for once god dammit your a pussy.. grow some peaches for once.. \

i am pretty sure my ski would have turretts
 
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