If Pros were Dildos

[Mr.Huck]

So many "If Pros were" threads. How about one to end them all.

Rules:

1) Hand drawn or shopped

2) No obvious dick pics

3) Keep it somewhat classy or it will get deleted

4) All Dildos must have a name

5) Added description of dildo characteristics optional.

Examples:

The Rawr Bitch

The Whamstick

 

[theabortionator]

WUT

 

[robotdna]

Jesus summer NS gets weird fast

 

[TaranItUp]

I'm scared.

 

[snugs]

 

[*JDBP*]

Oprah and the Whamstick

 

[robotdna]

Eh, I'll bite.

I know this is a Pros thread, but here's one...get it?



Black Steve? No? Okay. Nevermind.

Shitty photoshop is shitty.

 

[elinde]

This man is a father.

 

[Twandos]

MRW I keep seeing these posts

 

[robotdna]

Henrik's "Dildread"



Lawl

 

[steezburgereddie]

https://www.newschoolers.com/forum/thread/781990/If-pros-were-like-bipedal-marsupials

Very original idea

 

[-WZ-]

is it really summer already

 

[Atomika09]

Go stick your heads in the freezer. Seems like the warm air is killing the ski gabberishness.

 

[APunx176]

 

[frickindarn]

This thread is dildos.

 

[Al.Capone]

This thread is dildos.

literally dildos

 

[frickindarn]

literally dildos

ZING!

 

[Paul.]

The Schlopy Spinner - Traditional drilldo with Alex Schlopy's head for maximum pleasure, capable of up to 1980 RPM

 

[whoa-dere]

who deleted my original if pros were dildos thread

 

[ANDR01D]

Eh, I'll bite.

I know this is a Pros thread, but here's one...get it?

View attachment 710341

Black Steve? No? Okay. Nevermind.

Shitty photoshop is shitty.

Mr. Hanky the freeski poo

He does doubles and zero spins too

Watch from the chairlift here he comes

Slaying every hot lap run

His tall-t hangs far below

And his Subaru has underglow

He's not in the bunch or hood crew

But he can blind swap pretzel 2

 

[chacha33]

I would have some good pics but my school has blocked wifi :/

 

[Japaneezy]

The Schlopy Spinner - Traditional drilldo with Alex Schlopy's head for maximum pleasure, capable of up to 1980 RPM

the best by far.

 

[Mr.Huck]

the best by far.

Agreed.

New effort. The Hippy Killer.

 

[soulskier]

I wish I could hang but even my ms paint skills are mediocre at best

 

[broto]

on the front page of the premier freeskiing website is a thread comparing professional skiers to dildos.

god i love skiing.

 

[Trace.]

MRW I keep seeing these posts

View attachment 708255

This is a 10/10 Mr. Huck post, and don't you mean mfw?

 

[LastChairMedia]

What other sport can you compare pros to dildos? I

 

[I_Am_Mod]

thread has potential for sure

 

[whoa-dere]

who's the great american challenge?

 

[X_ANKILLA]

The Dumont Special.

 

[I_Am_Mod]

The 'JON' with extra clitoral stimulating skibox

 

[Mr.Huck]

The 'JON' with extra clitoral stimulating skibox

Great minds think alike:

Here's the JO Pro model. It goes really fast, but don't ask how much it costs because you can't afford it.

Also, for those who like to go really big, here's the Mike Wilson.

 

[Daski]

This thread is dildos

 

[S.J.W]

Steve Stepp would be a cucumber.

 

[APunx176]

There should be one of Jesper Tjader with a HUGE sack on it.

 

[.FRY.]

There should be one of Jesper Tjader with a HUGE sack on it.

haha yes!

 

[SKIU4EA]

searchbar, come on now, there's a million pro-dildo threads and so unoriginal..... oh wait

 

[Mr.Huck]

searchbar, come on now, there's a million pro-dildo threads and so unoriginal..... oh wait

I was worried that this thread might be a repost.

Anyway, today's effort:

Introducing the Candide Toe Vex. It's small, bionic and fully automatic. You have no idea what the hell it's going to do, but it's always exciting.

 

[*DUMBCAN*]

I was worried that this thread might be a repost.

Anyway, today's effort:

Introducing the Candide Toe Vex. It's small, bionic and fully automatic. You have no idea what the hell it's going to do, but it's always exciting.

That's fantastic

 

[Mr.Huck]

There should be one of Jesper Tjader with a HUGE sack on it.

 

[Paul.]

I was worried that this thread might be a repost.

Anyway, today's effort:

Introducing the Candide Toe Vex. It's small, bionic and fully automatic. You have no idea what the hell it's going to do, but it's always exciting.

This one would give you major toebang.

 

[Mr.Huck]

This definitely deserved honorable mention:

 

[theabortionator]

The best day was when this thread died. Now we gotta wait again.

 

[Mr.Huck]

The best day was when this thread died. Now we gotta wait again.

 

[robotdna]

The best day was when this thread died. Now we gotta wait again.

It was just getting good though, with unrelated crap starting to turn it into something interesting.

 

[MiIfHunter]

I miss Mr. Huck

 

[b0ss]

WUT

Leave this at 69 likes

 

[theabortionator]

Leave this at 69 likes

Not gonna lie that's kinda dope. I dont even remember this thread. Shits weird lol

 

[danbrown]

This definitely deserved honorable mention:

hahaha this is my instagram. hilarious I never saw this thread

 

[danbrown]

hahaha this is my instagram. hilarious I never saw this thread

also to clarify skiierman got shitfaced and passed out on my couch and I put a dildo in his hand

 

[BigPurpleSkiSuit]

also to clarify skiierman got shitfaced and passed out on my couch and I put a dildo in his hand

but who's dildo was it?