I think I lost my best friend. What do I do?

oldworld_newlife

oldworld_newlife

Active member
I'll do my best to make a long story short. my best friends gf cheated on him. No one told him for months. I told him a few months ago after I found out . I thought he should know the truth. He thanked me and told me he's handle it from there. Well. Turns out his gf found out I told him and she began to hate me, and she also convinced him to stay with her. Since then. He always picks his girl over his friends and he basically refuses to talk to me because "my gf hates you and says I shouldn't be around you because you make her want to cut herself". I ignored it for a while but finally told him I thought it wasn't cool and that you shouldn't do that to your friend. I've known this guy forever and he's like a brother to me but now he's treating me like a stranger. I'm ignoring him as of now because I've basically given up.

I know it's a stereotype to say "I hate drama" but honestly I hate this shit. I try to stay out of it but whenever I try to talk to him it's like I get pulled into it. His gf texts me saying shit like "you make me want to kill myself . You think im a whore" to which I say "please stop texting me" which then she goes and complains to my friend and he further ignores me. It's pretty childish and I really wish it'd stop but she keeps it going.

Worst part is though, were supposed to go to Colorado in a month. I haven't spoke to him in a few weeks and Im not sure how I'm going to handle the trip. I stay out of his way and when I talk to him I try to be as chill as possible but he just acts so weird and runs back to his girl.

So. What should I do? Ignore him further til the trip? Cancel the trip? Stop talking to him all together ? Idk who else to ask I don't usually ask advice but I really am confused.

Tl;dr my best friend got cheated on, I told him, his gf hates me as a result, he stayed with her, now because of her he refuses to talk to me, and we're supposed to go to Colorado in about 3 weeks.
 
im thinking I might just tell him a few days before the trip "either you pull it together or you're not coming" and probably after the trip I'm done with him most likely
 
13212664:SteezySmith57 said:
im thinking I might just tell him a few days before the trip "either you pull it together or you're not coming" and probably after the trip I'm done with him most likely
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Why would you wait.... tell him now. Waiting that long is a horrible idea
 
13212660:El_Barto. said:
People change...deal with it and move on instead of crying like a pussy
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I'm not crying like a pussy . And believe me I'm pretty much all the way moved on but I don't wanna give up yet because I grew up with him. He's like a brother. That's why I asked for some advice damn
 
13212670:.Hugo. said:
Why would you wait.... tell him now. Waiting that long is a horrible idea
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Because I feel like he's still pissed ? Idk you're probably right. I just hate talking about it even because it's so childish
 
13212675:SteezySmith57 said:
I'm not crying like a pussy . And believe me I'm pretty much all the way moved on but I don't wanna give up yet because I grew up with him. He's like a brother. That's why I asked for some advice damn
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Hes not like a brother. I would do anything for my brother. The only thing he could do to make me abandon him would be like kill my whole family or something.

Youre just being a baby about a friend changing
 
13212676:SteezySmith57 said:
Because I feel like he's still pissed ? Idk you're probably right. I just hate talking about it even because it's so childish
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Hes gonna be pissed no matter when you tell him. Its time to stop being a boy and man up. This shit happens to everyone eventually
 
13212710:SteezySmith57 said:
17 and i mean damn I didn't think it was bad to care about a friendship.
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Its fine to care but youre blowing it way out of proportion. Deal with it and dont cry like a little baby
 
13212685:B.Gillis said:
Bro who cares if he's pissed? You absolutely did the right thing by telling him what was going down. She's a controlling crazy bitch if she's gonna use cutting herself as a means of keeping her boyfriend.

In reality you should be pissed, tell your boy that he's been a serious asshole and he needs to stop letting her control him. If he chooses her so be it but you tell him straight up how you feel about her, her and him and him in general.

Tell him her reaction to you two talking doesn't mean shit, the only reason she's mad is because everyone found out she was a whore and now it makes her look bad. You talk it out with him and if he's too dumb and stubborn to see it how it is then sadly friends come and go in life and he may be one of them.
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I agree with you man. I tried getting through before and I think I will again maybe on the trip, and if it doesn't work I'm perfectly happy moving on. I've lost friends before. It just kinda sucks because he's my only skiing friend too

Maybe the only reason I care is because we're supposed to go to CO together. His family and mine knew eachother for years and we split the trip so it just ads unnecessary tension I think too. I think though if the trip wasnt happening I would've dropped his ass already
 
13212716:El_Barto. said:
Its fine to care but youre blowing it way out of proportion. Deal with it and dont cry like a little baby
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I agree with you but I still don't see how I'm "crying and blowing it out of proportion"
 
"you make me want to cut myself" top fucking kek, the girls sounds like a real keeper.
 
You cant stop jim from being an asshole. You can only show him how much of an asshole he is being
 
How are you going on a trip to Colorado if you're 17?

tell herself to cut herself good. Gut herself like a fish
 
A very similar situation happened to me a few years ago. One of my best friends, that I had known forever, got involved with this girl. At first she seemed like a pretty cool girl, but after a few months of them dating her true colors began to show. She started to become really controlling and she wouldn't let my friend hang out with anyone that wasn't her. At first I tried to keep him from loosing touch with me and the rest of his friends, but being the pussy he was, he let his girlfriend control his whole life. I ended up giving up on him, and I just continued on with life until we completely lost touch. After about a year of hardly hearing from him, I found out that things had become really serious. He finally realized that he was dating some psycho bitch, but he was to scared to break up with her because of what she might do. After a while he couldn't stand her anymore, so they finally broke up. Needless to say, the girl went crazy and she almost killed herself.

After all of this my friend was pretty messed up, he had completely changed,he wasn't enjoyable to hang out with anymore, and he was getting himself into loads of legal trouble.

Today he is a 21 year old burnout who still lives with his parents, and works at burrito shop. He doesn't go to school, and he doesn't have any plans set out for his life.

My advise is; try to get your friend back. Toxic relationships really fuck people up. Most of the time its best to just sit back and let friends naturally come and go, but for the sake of your friend this isn't one of those times.
 
The trip will either make or break the friendship. I'm in a similar situation myself so I'm just going into it hoping for a good time.
 
Sometimes it's not meant to be. If he's gonna choose some insane girl over you then it's his problem, not yours. It sucks that you can't hang out much anymore but just tell him how you feel and leave the rest up to him. Tell him that as a friend you've tried to look out for him as much as possible and while you can't control his girlfriend's feelings towards you, you still want to be able to hang out with him if that's something he still wants. I wouldn't bash her too much otherwise he'll just get defensive and crawl back to her which would be a total victory for her

If your buddy's girlfriend can't wrap her head around the fact that he wants to spend time with you too then she's remarkably insecure, but I wouldn't be surprised if he ends up siding with her as teenage boys often do in the pursuit of sex. One day he will realize the mistake he's made, or maybe he just isn't who you thought he was and he's all about girls who leverage suicide as a way to get what they want...

My best friend from the first half of college last minute didn't come back this semester and I'm realizing I may never see him again. He communicated just enough for me to know he was alive, but now he's gone totally dark. I've let him know I'm here for him if he's going through some shit and wants to talk about it, but other than that it's just accepting the fact that we might never hang out again. Same thing applies to you
 
I read this thread title as if your best friend died, I already had lined up the vibes.

Now I just have to say, that she probably sucks the rust from a tow hook or has a bloody miracle pussy that cures aids and spawns rainbow unicorns upon copulation.
 
He doesn't seem like a tru friend if he doesn't realize you were only helping. And if you've known him longer than she has. As someone who's been cheated on, it sucks ass to find out but I was super grateful to my friends for telling me.

Sounds like this girl is a total whore who you don't want to be associated with, and therefore him. Just tell your friend that and maybe eventually he will leave her and you guys will be friends again. Otherwise I would cut it off.
 
I lost my best friend. We did everything together; ski, cliff jump, drink, other bro things. We were buddies from 8 yrs old until we were 18. He started dating this bitch c***. She doesnt like me, so slowly we slipped apart. So much so i wasnt even invited to their wedding. The Friend i grow up with lives 5 minutes away and i havent seen him in 6 months. It sux. But i guess thats how life goes.

OP, if your friend choses a girlfriend over you, he is not a friend worth having. Life will go on and you will find others to fill the void.
 
Tell her she's full of shit and if she isn't make sure she cuts down the street not across because she's a manipulative slut.

Make your friend respond to how you feel about this shit, don't just be like "bruh I'm so hurt" be like "Yo be straight with me, how have you felt about our friendship in the last few months?" make him respond to the dialogue because it'll force him to think about it and probably guilt him. Be manipulative back, fuck her.
 
Any guy who picks hoes> Bros doesn't deserve to be your friend. Talk some shit into him. If he doesn't listen then it is over.
 
Tell that bitch to go ahead and cut herself, hopefully she hits a major vein and bleeds to death. Vibes tho bro, I would be depressed/angry as hell losing a homie like that.
 
13213350:loganschnur said:
Tell that bitch to go ahead and cut herself, hopefully she hits a major vein and bleeds to death. Vibes tho bro, I would be depressed/angry as hell losing a homie like that.
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forreal. hes the only friend i had who skis park. all my friends are racers otherwise.
 
It sounds like your friend has a nice case of "I'm my girlfriend's bitch." You shouldn't feel bad about any of this, you're in the right for sure.
 
For fucks sake you're more honest to him than his gf is. Sounds like your friend is being a huge pussy about this. There are tons of sluts out there, but only one you, man.

Also, I was prepared to answer the thread by telling you to go find him then.
 
Hell know that he and his gf Aren't meant together in a while, hes just making a big mistake right now for dating her and ignoring you. If you go talk to him dont go full charge on his gf cause thats what he doesnt like to hear. Just tell him you miss him and want to do more shit together.
 
i had a friend like this but he went to drugs, i havent seen him in 1 year and last time i saw him was when the cops came a got him from school, i know how you feel, you just feel like theres almost a part of your life thats missing. i used to go to call him then realise "oh yeah" and hang up. it took me about 6 months to move on but i found my 2 best friends that ski park so everything sorta worked out.

remember: one door closes another opens, you'll be fine op it might take a bit of time but you will be ok
 
Id straight up text him "should I be looking for someone else to come to Colorado with me?" and see what his response his.

If he doesn't respond just say "ok I have found someone else to come with me"

Let him stay with his bucket gf, chill with other people, profit for not chilling with a whipped losers. When they break up which they will your 17, you guys will rebuild your friendship.
 
You should turn to Jesus and ask for His forgiveness. Your friend is on a mission from God and only God alone can set him and you on the righteous path. Moving to Colorado and smoking the devil's dope won't solve your problems. Only Jesus can.
 
that's actually really too bad OP, but you did the right thing. id ask him soon about the trip and invite someone else if need be but give him a second chance if he comes around. at least rest assured you did the right thing when you told him about the cheating
 
13212664:SteezySmith57 said:
im thinking I might just tell him a few days before the trip "either you pull it together or you're not coming" and probably after the trip I'm done with him most likely
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No, but stick with me. What you're going to need is some working capital, craigslist and lots of alcohol. What you do is bring him, get him completely shitfaced and then pay a whole gang of hookers to do naughty things to him. Take a bunch of pics of said acts being performed and share them on his FB/ IG whatever. Be sure to lay it on thick like #goodridadncebitch or #howdoesitfeelslut etc.

Be sure to do enough to make sure said relationship is nuked from orbit and its remains are beheaded by the time you get back. Hookers and blow are the only way, man. Make it public and make sure everyone knows. That way she can not only know how it feels, but hopefully get the fuck out of your friend's life before she's grown to inoperable sizes like the emotional tumor she is.
 
Tell him that if his girl leaves him (she probably will if she's cheating) he won't have any friends left to back him up if he's gonna act like a douche to everybody. Tell him it's no problem for you to leave him alone but it sure as hell will be a problem for him when his bitch leaves him.

pretty much the worst thing you can do at your age is to abandon friends for a fake ass relationship that's guaranteed not to last. You're gonna want to have good friends to help you get your mind of the breakup, if you don't you'll probably pretend that your ex is your "best friend" and that it's "totally not weird or anything" and you guys "don't have that kindof feelings for eachother anymore", then that shit will end with an infinite loop of getting back together, breaking up and so on and everybody around you will start ignoring you two and neither of you have anybody to talk to except eachother and that won't help at all, you'll think it works but it doesn't. You need friends more then a relationship.

Yeah i could rant on forever about this, speaking from experience
 
Dude just show him this thread, he's completely whipped and won't let one person change his mind, if he'd see all the comments here he'd probably realize how stupid he is
 
Don't sweat it bromigo. Hoes come and go, but friendships are forever. As gay as that sounds its true. Chances are this hoe will cheat again, which will lead to them breaking up in the future.

Go on the trip with your friend and things will fall back into place.
 
Yep I had a crew of buddies at 17 that were "brothers" Went everywhere and did everything together. Now 16 years later, out of the 5 of us, Every one lives in different states. Four of us got married and have kids the other has three kids with three different girls. I talk to two of them once or twice a year and maybe see one every other year. People grow in different directions. I am not the same kid I was back then and nether are they. I know its a bummer and can be hard but that's life. Women do come in-between friendships. The bros before hoes shit is bull. All you can do is live your life and keep on keepen on. the chick sounds like a nut and he will have to figure that out on his own.
 
idk about you but this friend doesn't seem like a great friend if hes doing this, I say ignore him and wait till he gets over this fase
 
That chick is poison and I'm not sure how you could be friends with her. Your buddy will be back when they eventually break up. What you do in three weeks is really his call it sounds like. When dudes change for chicks it is hard to watch. But, if you try to change him it will make it worse. He'll learn by himself.
 
I was actually in a similar situation. My friends girl dumped him, and 3 months later she went to me. He got super jealous, and tried to fight me and shit and we had a falling out. I disinvited myslef from the vacation I was offered by him before the bullshit. We broke up a couple months later. My friend and I made up and we were friends for about 3 more years. Then my new gf and I started fighting and she spread some rumors about me. My friend told me about it, and I said "I hate that bitch". He told my gf and that made all the girls at the school hate me and love him. But it was ski season around this time so I didn't give 2 shits.
 
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