I tell outrageous lies about myself to other people on chairlifts

I tell people Im from Chicago and frequent Tyrol Basin... When really Im from Fernie!!! HAHHHHHHH Usually I tell it to people when I go to Whistler, Colorado, or Montana.!!!I tell the cool people with baggy clothes where Im really from.
 
one time we were on a family ski trip at heavenly and there were these spanish people talkin shit on us in the gondola..it was one of those deals where you could just tell they were talking about you..when the gondola randomly stopped my dad said the only thing he remembered from spanish in highshchool abrar la puerta (open the door) the spanish fucks got all wide eyed and shit and were quiet for the rest of the ride
 
me and my fwends occasionally make appearances in jeans while speaking in english accents. then we ask some n00b how to slide a rail or hit a jump, after he tells us we slay that SHIT. then ask how we did.
 
Well at the Gatorade Free Flow Tour Loon stop philipc, sammy.m and myself rode up the gondola with a slightly vintage woman and in very well done accents pretended to be from Wales as the lift ride progressed our story grew deeper into our lives how we had never really ski'd on snow and all we had ever done was dryslopes and indoor facilities and how we were coming here to study she asked what and we obviously said women and she chuckled as the chair came to an end she told us how much she reminded her of her sons and how charming we were and how our accents must get us too many women to handle then told us to have a nice day and so we did
1500th post
 
Not on the chair lift but a similar fooling gapers/noobs scenario.
I like to ride into the park all wobbly and pizza'd out and when I get the the first feature that everyone is waiting to hit I ask everyone if the rail is hard. I'll get the usual "yeah dude its easy just commit" and I'll say something like "yeah word, i mean this is like my second day skiing but I know I got this". I proceed up to the rail in a pizza almost falling over and right when I'm on the lip I'll stand up and hit the rail correctly and ride a way like a boss. The kids who were laughing at me thinking I was about to eat shit are now dumbfounded. This is pretty funny when it works but most of the kids at my mountain have seen me ski and realize I'm just being an idiot.
 
this and some other really fucked up stuff like:
"So i was at the donkey show and some dude just sticks two fingers up my butt. Then I turn aroud and its my fucking dad. Then he started giving me the reacharoud, I mean that's just common curtousy, right? So then I'm like, ' Whoah dad you must be horny, so I started tossing his salad and the donkey jizzed on my face like 5 seconds before he did. It was the best saturday night ever. You should have ben there"

and

" Yeah so my black boyfriend was fucking my dirty asshole..."
always funny
 
I was in NZ while the Volkl freeski open was going on (had a few big names, bobby brown) and some Snowboarders asked me if I was competing, I said I was placed third...pretty lame but meh, thought I might as well. I didn't even have a bib on though lol.
 
my friend was talking to this gaper one time at my hill, which is really small btw (700 ft vertical). the gaper asks him "is there only a double and a triple lift?"

the correct answer would be yes. the double is in the center of the bottom of my hill and the triple is farther towards the right. but my friend says instead, "no there's a high speed quad, you just gotta go really far that way." and he pointed to the right. the kid was like alright thanks, and started skiing away to the right.
 
me and my friends from a few summers ago, best when you are on both sides of person and say it kinda loud

me- hey! what kind of porn do you watch!

friend- i like pov because it makes it look like your fucking her!

then look forward and dont say anything for the rest of the ride

 
i've tried that too... (yes im an aussie)
actually i've taken up asking people how good my 'fake' australian accent is, always good when people don't rate it and give me tips on how to improve it. even better when i get given a demonstration of what a good fake aussie accent should sound like.
ps: we really do ride kangaroos to school. but only if its not raining. they HATE the rain
 
leave one of your poles at the top of the mountain then ski back down to the lift and put one of your arms into your jacket so it looks like you dont have an arm. then when the lifty asks you where your other pole is just be like "i only have 1 arm" and just look really upset. they usually feel really bad. i havnt grown the balls to fall over screaming and then shoot my arm back out like something out of an alien movie
 
i do it all the time. I told some people that the tiny windmills atop of the chair poles generated all the electricity to power the chair.
 
we usually just say we are pro skiers from new zealand, with new zealand accents so its nice and convincing.

and also sometimes i answer my phone then say, WHAT??? YOURE PREGNANT!!! hhahahahah gets em every time.

one time i pretened my friend was blind too.
 
I'm so glad someone made this thread because I've been meaning to. Also glad I'm not the only one that loves mountain shenanigans. Back in the day my friend Brandon took a brownie and molded it like poo and pretended to poop it off a chairlift. I'm pretty sure they confronted him and were just like.."we saw what you were doing...don't do that."
 
Well once at whistler some guy was on the peak to peak with me and asked if i was a pro skier he was a gaper so i was like yeah bro what of it and he was like OH MY GOD ITS HIM i was thinking WTF but i would go with it and it turned into this 10 minute conversation of him thinking im Jon Olsson and saying to his kids this is the guy who builds the big jumps and made me autograph his kids helmets and stuff
Im completely serious
 
Me and my Buddy: Hey! Are you in town for the ping-pong contest? A guy and his son: No, we're just here to ski for the weekend.Me and my Buddy: Oh, well we're here for the ping pong contest tomorrow, at the center down the road.We throw down pretty hard. You should see the fricken spin I can put on there now.Guy and his son: Well good luck!
 
I did the same thing at Ihop the other day. The whole breakfast, we talked in ASL, and there was a family next to us, and the kid was like "Daddy! Look, their deaf!" and the dad said "Don't call them deaf, they're hearing impaired." Oo gosh, my deaf friends hate being called that. But anyways, as the breakfast continued, they kept making small remarks like "That must be awful" and such. Then at the end, in a big stern voice. "BILL PLEASE!" They seemed a little frazzled.
 
If you live out west.

When they do avalanche disposal(idk wat its called)

when you hear a bang, go limp and fall to the ground. (make sure youre around people)

worked like a charm in breck
 
a fun trick to pull on a triple or quad chair with 2 or 3 friends and one or 2 strangers, take your pole behind the chair and use it to tap the person on the other side of the lift on the shoulder on the side where the chair ends so there couldnt be anyone sitting there and try not to laugh when they look to see who is over there
 
some Russian guy last year at sunday river asked me if i could get him coke, looked him straight in the face and told him yep, he asked if i could get him an 8ball, i said no and left

 
I signed my own name but i wrote it close together and it kinda looked a little like Jon but not really it was pretty funny i felt so bad for the people considering im 15 was riding K2 hellbents and Jons 20 something and rides Head skis like what the hell
 
I like telling stories about my years playing college ball. Bit like uncle rico. Only I never quite specify which sport exactly college ball is, and the stories are riddled with contradictions.

"yea man, it was my senior year playing ball, so like...02 I think...and I'm going in hard for this tackle, right? but right at the death, I grab him, bring him down, and the damn thing slid right out of his hands and in for a 3. Hadn't seen that happen since 2005, my freshman year when I was riding the bench."
 
Me and my friends always play "you're pretty." You yell you're pretty off the chairlift and if someone yells it back you get a point.

 
I did this once, just talk to your friend like you don't notice anybody else. I was telling him how "I totally hooked up with Brandon's little sister the night before & she was a virgin, but don't tell Brandon cuz he'll totally get pissed that I nailed his sister."

".......dude."

"What?"

"Was it Brandon Parks' sister Ashley?"

"Yeah why?

"She's 13 bro."

Then watch the people in the middle for their reaction.

 
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