I really need some advice right now

Shredsterr

Shredsterr

Active member
So I'll start the story by saying I had just eaten a Turkey Bacon Ranch sub stuffed full and toasted from Subway, followed by some left over steak when I got home. About an hour later, I was feeling the need to profusely jettison my bowels, and did just that. 10 minutes later, with a clean colon, I decided to look down, and saw five huge (and I mean huge) light brown turds sitting in the bottom of the bowl. I thought, "well shit I'm gonna snapchat this to my friend, because that was potentially the biggest shit of my life as I don't want it to be a wasted opportunity." So I write the caption "just one of those shits," and being that my friends name begins with an "m," I scroll down to the M section in my snapchat contacts, click it, and push send.

Fast forward 15 minutes, wondering if he opened it, and HOLY FUCKING SHIT I SENT IT TO THE GIRL IVE HAD A CRUSH ON FOR 2 MONTHS. AHHHHHH. And to make matters worse she opened it! Fuck! So I send another snap, saying something along the lines of "I'm soooooo sorry! Wrong person!" And she opened it and didn't respond, which is expected as she just found out what the fuck my digested food looks like, and probably isn't in the mood for a conversation right now.

Now, this super hot, athletic, awesome girl that I thought I may have had a chance with, and sit beside in TWO FUCKING CLASSES is going to have the image of my bigass dump seared into her eyes everytime she looks at me from now on until the end of the next millennia.

So basically NS, I done fucked up, and I have no god damn idea what to do, does any body have advice?
 
obviously the most logical thing to do is to put laxatives in her food and wait until her bowels dance and ask her if she wants to compare pictures.
 
I can related.

Similar story. So there is this girl I have had a crush on since Freshman year of college (3+ years) and she is an absolute bombshell. Killer body, and I mean absolutely KILLER, awesome smile, really fun to be around, an all around good person. So we got to know each other pretty well through working on projects, studying together, texting, etc. I tell my brother about this girl, so obviously whenever I see her I always make a comment about her to him.

Anyways, fast forward to this past year and I dont see her as much which is unfortunate. So, one random day at the gym, I see this girl, and she is looking fantastic. She and I talk for a bit, and we go our separate ways. So I instantly go to snapchat my brother, being like holy shit I just saw M. and her tits were looking fantastic. Well, somehow I went to M instead of H and sent it to her. I FREAKED the fuck out. How the hell was I supposed to come back from this? I instantly sent one apologizing saying how embarrassed I was and all that. Well, she opened it, and 5 seconds after and sent two snapchats. She just straight up laughed at me. She thought it was the funniest shit she had seen in a while, especially after she realized it wasnt supposed to go to her. Needless to say, I havent heard the end of it since.

So OP, my advice, just play it off. If you are good enough friends with her it should be OK. If you are not, hope to god she has a sense of humor.
 
In the words of Frank Herbert; “There is no real ending. It’s just the place where you stop the story.”

I think that applies pretty well to you
 
Oh man...I think you've reached the point of no return...just deny that it was you if she asks and blame it on your friends or something.
 
13015854:Shredsterr said:
Fuuuuuuuck she's still not replying I think I blew it
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What would you do if she snap chatted a picture of her shit back to you?

would it make it better, ruin everything or option three and my favorite....make room for your pee?
 
13015854:Shredsterr said:
Fuuuuuuuck she's still not replying I think I blew it
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What guy hasn't taken a picture of their dump before? If she really thinks you're that weird because of it she probably isn't the type of girl for you anyway (at least that'd be true for me). If she even likes you a little bit she'll let it slide and hopefully be able to laugh it off. If she does end up laughing it off, then your chances of getting with her should be much higher because that's a sign that she's probably into you.

But if it doesn't work out, it's just a crush. Everybody has them and everybody misses chances. A couple weeks from now you'll be laughing about this.
 
you need to keep sending her snaps of your poop, eventually she will be desensitized to your enormous shits and think that its normal.
 
13015871:CheddarJack said:
What guy hasn't taken a picture of their dump before? If she really thinks you're that weird because of it she probably isn't the type of girl for you anyway (at least that'd be true for me). If she even likes you a little bit she'll let it slide and hopefully be able to laugh it off. If she does end up laughing it off, then your chances of getting with her should be much higher because that's a sign that she's probably into you.

But if it doesn't work out, it's just a crush. Everybody has them and everybody misses chances. A couple weeks from now you'll be laughing about this.
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Nah man. Sending a pic of your massive shit never really gets you anywhere with the ladies, no matter how tastefully it was taken.

At this point OP should just own up to it because still being able to claim that massive shit is better than losing the girl AND saying the poop was someone else's. At least walk away with something.
 
You have to one up a poop pic so she sees you and thinks of that instead of poop. Send her a dick pick. She will then think of your dick instead of your poop.
 
True love is sharing photos of your bowel movements. if she can't understand that, it wasn't ever meant to be
 
not that bad. I got drunk one night and sent a video of my dog pooping right out of his butt to almost everyone on my snap list(even my GF and a bunch of other girls). You're fine.

This thread just made me realise how normal me and my friends really are. We used to send picture messages before there was snapchat. It got to a point where almost everyone wouldn't open up pictures me and another one of my buddies would send.

I still to this day Haven't been able to top the one poop I had one day though. There were three poops in the toilet and they resembled a smiley face. Nothing makes your day brighter after taking a poop and it's smiling back up at you.
 
Easy and guaranteed: Tell her someone else, such as your brother, got a hold of your phone and sent it out. She'll understand.
 
she was not pleased with the caliber of your dump. try again, this time with taco bell and laxatives.
 
13015934:SFB said:
you need to keep sending her snaps of your poop, eventually she will be desensitized to your enormous shits and think that its normal.
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So crazy, "It just might work!"
 
13016636:LE.Skiing said:
not that bad. I got drunk one night and sent a video of my dog pooping right out of his butt to almost everyone on my snap list(even my GF and a bunch of other girls). You're fine.

This thread just made me realise how normal me and my friends really are. We used to send picture messages before there was snapchat. It got to a point where almost everyone wouldn't open up pictures me and another one of my buddies would send.

I still to this day Haven't been able to top the one poop I had one day though. There were three poops in the toilet and they resembled a smiley face. Nothing makes your day brighter after taking a poop and it's smiling back up at you.
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Hahaha yes, the picture messages before snapchat, such nostalgia. There was a time in life when the only pictures on my friend's phone were pictures of dumps haha good times.
 
if a girl wont be wtih you because you accidentally snapped her a pic of your shit then that girls probably not worth it. Just stop messaging her, give it some time and laugh it off, everyone shits. We are all human
 
snapchat a picture of a larger poop to impress her even more. She will acknowledge you as the dominate species and submit you your power.
 
She actually liked it, and when I texted her we just resumed our normal conversations! She thought it was kinda funny too, and it's true we're all human, we all make mistakes.
 
13018093:Shredsterr said:
She actually liked it, and when I texted her we just resumed our normal conversations! She thought it was kinda funny too, and it's true we're all human, we all make mistakes.
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No one actually likes a shit snap. You appreciate a shit snap.
 
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