I have a game for you guys to play

You have been banned for the following reason:

troll

Date the ban will be lifted: 12-01-2011, 03:00 AM

There we go. Aparently they dont like being told to stop molesting kids.

 
dude that forum is the most fucked up thing on the internet. I tried to register so I could leave a nasty message and it wouldnt let me without answering questions about the bible.
 

QUOTE FROM THE FORUMS
__

Look, all I'm gonna say about masturbation is that it is not normal. The average man does not masturbate. Ever. Having the desire to masturbate is unusual and is most likely an indication of some kind of sexual perversion and depravity. I should know-- at one time in my life I was paid to masturbate on camera. It was sick and I regret it deeply. One day you're masturbating on camera, the next day you're pounding a 400lbs black woman named Hidden Valley while a Korean midget licks your asshole and there's a longhorn sheep chained to the post of the bed you're on -- just sick shit. As a rule of thumb I tell all the young men I council to never touch their penis for any reason ever. It can make going to the bathroom both difficult and disgusting, but it's better than going to hell.My story is like that of most, if not all Born Again Christians: I was lost, I did some drugs, I had sex with a lot of women, then I had sex with a lot of men, then I did it with some children, then I did it with some animals, then I went back to women for a little bit but also did it with animals on the side, then I did it with men and some children, then I got a bunch of irreversible STDs and can no longer get an erection so I decided to give my life to Christ since I can't bone women or men or children or animals anymore.
 
awwwh i got banned in like 1 minuitmy username was pedopriest69You have been banned for the following reason:
troll scumDate the ban will be lifted: Never
 
i feel like that whole site is a joke. or at least i hope so.

and i'm pissed that they consider catholics a false religion.
 
Haha that site is a joke. Oh well I ended up lasting like 15 minutes, but then:

You have been banned for the following reason:

bye

Date the ban will be lifted: Never
 
hahaha.
under the favorite bible verses, theres one by jezus s'd my dits titled deuteronomy 6 and then when you open it it says "when jesus eats out mary"
 
i've been baned 7 times tonight

You have been banned for the following reason:

We can do this all night all i have to do is a one-click man :D

Date the ban will be lifted: Never

and agian

You have been banned for the following reason:

is your IQ half your age

Date the ban will be lifted: Never

im gong to cry he called me stupid

 
Dear gayisthenewstraight,

You have received a new private message at The Landover Baptist Church Forums from Rev. Jim Osborne, entitled "You have received an infraction at The Landover Baptist Church Forums".

To read the original version, respond to, or delete this message, you must log in here:
http://www.landoverbaptist.net/private.php

This is the message that was sent:
***************
Dear gayisthenewstraight,

You have received an infraction at The Landover Baptist Church Forums.

Reason: Ban
-------
bye
-------

This infraction is worth 16000 point(s) and may result in restricted access until it expires. Serious infractions will never expire.

Original Post:
http://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?p=426682#post426682

---Quote---
i like dick. i mean lots of dick. in all holes at the same time. is that bad? and why?
---End Quote---
All the best,
The Landover Baptist Church Forums
 
bahaha i made an account named "cum_on_guys" (no homo) and I literally got banned within 30 seconds of making and activating the account.
 
sorry for the double post but i meant marry him. According to them lesbians and gays deserve nothing more than death so that wouldnt be right.
 
i lasted like half an hour and made like 10 posts insulting anybody who said any thing about relgion it made me smile
 
You have been banned for the following reason:

Trollscum

Date the ban will be lifted: Never

i dont get it i was being useful i responded to a thread about how all those people hate mexicans and i said don't be so mean, plus i made a thread about who on that site likes buttsecks

 
I know its ridiculous. haha i might post something along the lines ofDeuteronomy 2:23 All men must participate in the act of buttsecks
in the favorite verses section
 
that shit makes me sick. but my name in raichu and this is my thread. I had trouble remembering names...

So wdafxup with pokemon, always fucking each other making babies n

shit. I mean back when i was a pikachu i screwed three clafairys, 2

wurmples, and one of those little pigeon fuckers. This is not good for

the children playi8ng the game, inditing premarital sex and all that

crap.

btw i do like this guy

sarcasm.gif
he has pizzazz

 
it got owned by some sensor and now reads thus:

So wdafxup with pokemon, always piffleing each other making babies n

shit. I mean back when i was a pikachu i screwed three clafairys, 2

wurmples, and one of those little pigeon piffleers. This is not good

for the children playi8ng the game, inditing premarital sex and all

that crap.
 
ok i got ever banned after that one... they never even let me post my second thread which read thus:

subject: ash username: raichu

"ok honestly who likes ash anyways, what a dick, he wont even hatch his

lil pikachu into a real man. everyone knows that raichus are better.

dont listen to the tv show, they are all wrong. they dont live in

reality. I dare you ash, so come try and fight me, I'll shove lighting

straght through your ass, out your mouth, and make it come back and

sting you in the eye like mohamad ali."
 
You have been banned for the following reason:

No reason was specified.

Date the ban will be lifted: Never

Wow, I was just in the middle of writing something very controversial but they didnt even let me finish before they banned me! those christian bastards!

 
Landover Baptist ChurchFrom Wikipedia, the free encyclopediaThis article needs references that appear in reliable third-party publications. Primary sourcesor sources affiliated with the subject are generally not sufficient for a Wikipedia article. Please add more appropriate citations from reliable sources. (June 2009)The Landover Baptist Church is a fictional[1] Baptist church based in the fictional town of Freehold, Iowa. The Landover Baptist web site and its associated Landoverbaptist.net Forum are a parody of fundamentalist Christianity and the Religious Right in the United States.Landover Baptist: "Where the worthwhile worship. Unsaved unwelcome!"Contents [hide]1 Origin2 Description3 Protests against the Site4 See also5 References6 External links[/list]OriginThe site was created by Chris Harper,[2] who obtained his Master's Degree in English Literature from George Mason University in 1993 after being expelled from Liberty University (founded by Jerry Falwell) in 1989 for producing a satirical radio show which Liberty's administration found offensive.[3] Harper frequently appears at atheist conventions playing the character of "Pastor Deacon Fred Smith".[4] The website is owned by a company called Americhrist, Ltd.DescriptionThe fictional Landover Baptist Church is a parody of fundamentalist, Independent Baptist churches and Biblical literalism. The church is supposedly located on a 35-acre (140,000 m2) campus in Freehold. The fictitious church grants all authority to its Pastor Deacon Fred Smith, in accordance with its interpretation of Romans 13.The church claims to have 28 paid pastors, 412 full time staff members, 11 fully-equipped chapels, 7 sanctuaries, a 100,000 seat amphitheater, 12 television studios, 2 radio stations, an academy, a university, 2 gated communities, 27 developments, 3 office parks, as well as a shopping mall, amusement park, golf course, retirement community, foundation, fire and police department, circus camp, resort center, retreat center, and a number of fitness centers, swimming pools, hot springs, and cemeteries.
 
I dont understand. do they let real religious people make their forums? or are they all fake?

and i replied to the email that said dont respond with this

I noticed you told me not to reply to your email, almost as if it might

hurt you or your beliefs. so i decided to reply anyways. after all it

doesnt matter to me.

enjoy this email with your heart, not your

mind, or your dick.(it has no porn)(thus your mind and dick are useless

as you are a human male)

thanks,

Alex

to which ezikiel replied with this

Dear Queerboy;

Thanks

for taking the time out of your busy schedule of sucking cock in public

toilets and taking drugs to drop by God's favorite forum and spew

hatred. The Holy Bible says that we are actually Blessed by your

persecution. Shout Glory!!



Matthew 5:10 Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness' sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

5:11

Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall

say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake.

5:12

Rejoice, and be exceeding glad: for great is your reward in heaven: for

so persecuted they the prophets which were before you.



Enjoy hell. I know that Jesus and I will enjoy watching you burn for all eternity.

YIC,

--Pastor Ezekiel

 
so they beat us. win for the "church" i speculated the wikipedia article was fake, that someone edited because of hatred for the church or something. so i went to its sources and found this.http://www.landoverbaptist.org/tos.html
if you scroll down to the part where it says Note: Mouse Over Below for Spoiler Alert its written in white lettering and it says "The Landover Baptist Church is a complete work of fiction. It is a satire/parody."
 
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