I got so fucked up last night i did __________ (thread)

I pissed INSIDE of my sister's $500 purse in the corner of my own room while she came to visit.

WINNING
 
..

it was my older thoguh. I was drunk and on gabs, came back from a partay, then passed out in my bed. Then I think I woke up like 30 mins latera nd got up and pissed in the corner of my room, then went back to sleep. All with her watching and screaming at me.

I remember none of it.

Its a win win, because shes a doucher and now she doesn't realy awnt to stay at my apartment anymore
 
the one on the left

images

 
if this thread was made about a year ago I could claim I smoked crack accidentally. (laced weed)

Tonight I hope I don't get too fucked up and end up getting in a fight with a friend of mine who I can't put up with anymore.
 
I rubbed a bald guys head a bunch to the point where he wanted to fight me. I dunno why, I don't remember, going by what a buddy said.
 
Walked onto the street and asked Arabic man if he planned on blowing up my building while I slept. After he angrily replied no, I patted him on the back, gave him 5 bucks and told him to book a flight home. When he said he lived down the street I asked him to buy me a sprite and bring it to my room. My friends told me this in the morning and also washed my hoodie that he spit on the night before.
 
I witnessed a guy piss himself, try and get up from the chair he was sitting in, slam his fucking face on a table doing so (he had a cast around his foot and was using crutches to get around), vomit, fall off the table, then slip off the table into his pissy vomit.
 
i unknosingly drnk out of a cut beer bottle and my lip got cut and wouldnt stop bleeding all night
 
Maybe I'm an asshole but I feel like I've done that at least 100 times. Who hasn't pissed on a car in a parking lot.
 
apparently i asked 4 girls to marry me and they all said yes. i wasn't even really fucked up though..
 
My friend pissed on this kids dads office desk at a party. Kid pretty much blacked out, woke up, wandered into what he thought was the bathroom, dropped trough and pissed all over this dudes desk. Got it on his like lamp, nice leather chair, dude had a bunch of important work papers and bank statements that got soaked. But I completely understand. Shit happens sometimes. Live and learn.
 
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