i read your entire post, and i totally agree with a lot of the points you made disputing "facts" about utah that people have heard.
these three points above stand out in any argument, and in my experience moving from wisconsin (a state that knows a little bit about drinking and the such), utah is really no different than any other state on these things.
3.2 beer- utah measures beer by volume and most other states do it by weight. the actual difference between utah and wisconsin is that drinking a six pack in utah is like drinking 5 beers in wisconsin. if the fun of your night depends on your being one miller lite drunker, just have 7 and it's like a six pack for you
no kegs- the keg thing does blow, but for the most part, kegs are for underage house parties. when you are old enough to go to a bar legally, it becomes a small part of the issue, and if you have the kind of friends that don't bring beer to a party, it sucks to be you anyway.
tobacco age- everyone knows this is a joke anyway, there is always a gas station that doesn't card. if you are a smoker who is under 18 you find ways to get cigs. having to do it one more year is a hassle, but it doesnt mean the state and all mormons suck because of it.
everything is closed on sundays- again, not true. there aren't many places i go that are closed on sundays (grocery store, gas station, ski resorts, rei, etc...), and those that are aren't really that much of an inconvience. plus, the roads are empty on sunday mornings, which is great. (utards are terrible, terrible drivers, that is true)
on a similar topic, you can buy beer at gas stations in utah all night long. even in wisconsin, in the county i grew up in, you can't buy beer after 9 pm except at a bar for full bottle price, so in that regard, utah is better than the part of wisconsin i grew up in.
utah is a fun place to live with access to resorts you can not get anywhere else, and more snow than anybody deserves. the
if you dont like it, good. more powder for us.